53 THE DAMSEL AND HER HOMEBOY (2/2)
”Mind your tongue, you jackass!” the long-nosed man howled at Booboo. ”Apologize to her right now, or I swear on your mommy that I'll make you cry for your daddy.”
”Hic, did I ask for too much?” Booboo briefly shut his mouth and pointed his red fan toward the donkey. ”Heehaw's tongue must have slipped, but it was this ass' instinct that caused everything. She doesn't know that every woman can't wear a drape that defines her twin peaks.” He shut the donkey's mouth before looking at Sariyu, ”I apologize in her stead, ma'am. But I must say, quintessential damsels like you are proof that there must be God in heaven. And it makes me wonder, hic, if I can ever be like him on earth, then my nights would get lovely, to say the least.”
Hearing a strange apology, Sariyu no longer bothered to look at him anymore and handed the baby crow to the long-nosed man who also seemed to have calmed down to some degree.
The long-nosed man approached Booboo with his nose closed and then gave the baby crow to him before speaking in a cold and hushed voice, ”I'll sneeze on your face if I see you again, understood?”
”Quiet and obscure,” Booboo replied with a frightened face.
”Hmph, leave without speaking another word unless you want me clean my nose on you.” Saying that he turned and walked back to Sariyu.
Booboo placed the crow on top of his hat, climbed the donkey and held the fishing rod. ”Okay, hic, now I'm asking for myself. ” He smiled as he made eye contact with Sariyu, ”Can you be the highlight of my night for tonight?”
Sariyu stood still, but her stare subtly stung Booboo more so than before.
”This guy…” the crowd could only marvel at how glazed his guts would be here and now.
”He's too drunk to know how to behave with a woman,”the long-nosed man shouted, ”someone, escort those two donkeys away.”
”We'll help you with that.” A group of three guys in their undies came forward, snickering their way through the crowd. ”A drunkard isn't worth discussing over. Just leave him to us. We'll send him to the land of sots.”
”The land of sots… It must be a land that lacks temperance—I'd love to breathe in such gin-soaked climes,” Booboo responded in a zestful fashion as his attention shifted to the three men, ”maybe, hic, my hiccuping will then come to a halt.”
”Of course, you can begin or end whatever you want once you get there, brother,” the three of them showed Booboo directions as they exchanged wry smiles with each other.
”Many have tried, hic, but all have failed,” Booboo said in a depressed tone, ”to cure the hiccup problem I have. You three won't take pleasure in giving up on me, will you?”
”Of course, we won't,” the three of them assuredly said, ”that's not how we work.”
Booboo now seemed much more willing to leave with those three, and as he did, he gave a flying kiss to Sariyu which in his perspective served as a goodbye, but it utterly revolted her.
”Whoever he was,” the long-nosed man maffled, rubbing his nose, ”he makes my gorge rise.”
Meanwhile, inside the Cat Home.
”How much longer are you going to keep staring at the cats, boy!” the assistant referee's face was filled with irritation. ”Quick.”
”I am quick. Can't you see?” Lirzod stressed his words as he replied likewise.
”Yeah, you are as quick as the dead!” the assistant's referee's words were like ghastly music to Lirzod's ears and very much tested his temperament for some reason.
Lirzod slowly glanced toward him, ”Stop belittling the dead. You are going to join them one day, too.”
”W-Well, you've got a point there,” the assistant referee said and then muttered under his breath, ”but I was belittling you, you oaf.”
”The quick and the dead may be poles apart,” Lirzod uttered every word with care, ”but each of them will mean nothing without the other. The Quick are quick because the Dead aren't and otherwise.”
”Yes, yes,” the assistant referee lifted his arm in a 'who cares?' gesture, ”stop wasting my dearest time with your goddamn insight into some stupid shit.”
”You think I like to waste my time here?” Lirzod furrowed his brows. ”It stinks like sewage in here. And on top of that, it's so uncomfortable to be in a room full of cats.”
”Then finish it quickly!”
”You needn't say that. I'm doing just that,” Lirzod had been looking all around with sedulous attention, hoping to find the cat that previously took the baby crow away, but it proved almost impossible for him to recognize that particular cat out of the hundreds of cats which were doing their cat things at this time. Lirzod couldn't help but murmur to himself. ”Where's that fool? My job would get a lot easier if I take that one into the ring.”
”You do know that we don't postpone the test even if you have the ticket. Don't blame me later if Jehez decides to ignore you and move on to the next ticket,” As the assistant referee warned Lirzod, he just noticed something. ”What's that on your shoulder?”
”Nothing.”
”No, I'm pretty sure there's something, something wet on your shoulder.”
”It's a crow's gift.”
”O-Oh, these damn crows can cause nuisance even on the ship. I wish I could shoot them down and sell them for good coin. By the way, tell me that gifted the crow back with something good.”
”I didn't, but I will. That aside, man, some of these cats look remarkably thin,” Lirzod said, his voice pressing a bit, ”you must be giving them a jejune diet.”
”It can't be helped. When you cluster these many kitties in a room, not all get to eat their full.”
”The bossy cats rule the room huh. Maybe that's true, but…” As Lirzod was looking around, he just saw a cat—with both of its front legs broken—struggling to reach the plate that had milk. He silently watched the cat for ten seconds, and the cat didn't move more than an inch because it was trying to slide forward. Lirzod walked up to the cat, squatted down, folded its legs and slowly rolled it on the ground until it reached the bowl. The cat desperately drank until it drained the residual liquid off the plate and later licked the plate clean. ”The milk was quite transparent.” He glanced at the assistant referee. ”How much water do you people mix?”
”Three to one,” the assistant referee casually responded.
”You mean three parts water and one part milk,” Lirzod looked up at his eyes attentively.
”No, three parts milk and one part water,” the assistant referee leaked out a forced smile, ”We don't adulterate the milk below that belt.”
Lirzod's jaw tightened, and his gaze sharpened apace. It was too evident that the milk was exceedingly diluted by at least five times its amount using water, but what bothered Lirzod more was the fact that the assistant referee didn't even agree when he asked if three parts of water and one part of milk were being mixed. This blatant lying in the face made Lirzod frown. He looked down at the wounded cat which was meowing at him. After pausing a moment, Lirzod took out the rat's tail from inside his pocket and put his hand forward.It took a while for the cat to sniff its way to the rattail and eventually devour it in quite a many bites. Afterward, the cat continued sniffing his hand and even bit his sleeve, which made Lirzod smile. ”You are desperate. I know that, but I'm out of food.” He glanced at the assistant referee. ”Can I choose this cat?”
The assistant referee raised his brows, for he was unsure if Lirzod was joking or not. ”Of course, you can't take the wounded ones.”
”Hmm, thought so.”
The assistant referee took a quick look at the entrance of the room before leaning toward Lirzod. ”But if you can drop a silver in my pocket, I will let you choose an easy opponent.”
Lirzod's ear jerked like that of a cat.