52 THE DRUNK AND HIS DONKEY (1/2)
”Heehaw,” A distinctive and noisy bray made many heads turn and look around, though most of them failed to locate the source of the sound.
”Lost are... you lot—not the ticket,” the voice that came from the slurring lips of a man reached many ears and especially jerked that of Gon. On the other hand, all the pleasantness vaporized off Jehez's face pretty damn quick.
When Jehez hastily looked through the gaps in the crowd, he caught glimpses of a man riding a dressed-up donkey. Wearing and a yellow-collared red shirt under a blue coat which had lemony star-shaped buttons, the mischievous-looking man used a fishing rod to suspend a carrot in the air in front of the donkey and guided the donkey by carefully maneuvering the fishing rod so that the carrot always stayed out of the donkey's reach. A baby crow was resting atop his red hat, and three small gilt bells decorated his baldric sword belt that supported an ultra-fine ethereal sword at his waist on the left while a fine wine-bottle was hanging on the right side. A gold coin served as his right earring whereas a golden dice served as his left earring. With a face mostly coated in some white powdery substance, lips decored in crimson, and a subtly showcasing twenty-four fingers in total, he was a man not at all hard to agnize by appearance alone.
One man among the crowd raised his brows. ”Who's this drunk dude on the donkey?”
”Is that a gown that the donkey's wearing?”
As he blew the red, round fan in one of his hands, he climbed down the donkey and tapped the floor rhythmically with his high-heeled, red-soled black boots. ”Woo-hoo! My shoes are dancing without me.” With a simple wave of his hand that held the fishing pole, he made the carrot drop in the donkey's mouth. He tossed the fish pole onto the donkey before beaming at everyone with partially open eyes. ”Hic, it's my pleasure to meet all the jackasses on the twelfth deck,” he bowed deeply with elegance, but his words twitched many veins of the crowd.
”Who are you calling jackasses, you stupid drunk!” many nostrils among the crowd flared.
The man in the red hat tilted his head in different directions and took a look at all those who just spoke before promptly replying, ”I'm not drunk, hic!” He was a little over six foot and looked sinewy. Though his exact skin color was hard to tell, the tan on his hands subtly showed that he had spent quite a time under the sun.
”No, you're not just drunk—you are wholly drunk!” no one in the crowd was stupid enough to believe his words.
”Care to tell us where you got to drink so much on this deck, buddy?” some others couldn't help but pose that question.
”I'm not drunk,” the mischievous man in the red hat replied again, standing straight, his eyes still half-closed.
Lirzod, who was standing at a distance, raised his hand and asked aloud, ”How many fingers do you see?”
”Mm?” the man in the red hat glanced in Lirzod's direction and halted a moment before bending forward to bring his face closer to the donkey. ”Tell them I'm not drunk.”
The donkey, however, was busy in licking its lips, for it had just completed consuming a carrot.
Most people in the crowd sighed and shook their heads whereas a few had their upper lips curled.
”Heehaw is busy, so she can't speak,” the man in the red hat said in a slurred fashion, but no one in the crowd was even remotely ready to believe his words. ”None of you seem to be trusting my words... All right. Can anyone among of all of you jackasses answer a simple question of mine then?” he looked around with eyes that demanded an answer, but because they were half-closed, his stare wasn't that effective.
”Screw you!” the crowd bellowed back at him. ”We are not jackasses. You are the jackass! Your mother's a jackass! Your father's a jackass! Your entire family's full of real jackasses!”
The man in the red hat seemingly paid no mind to their words, for he cleared his throat a bit before responding, ”Eyes that can't see, ears that can't hear, and hearts that can't hearken… who has all these?” he asked, but only silence replied.
Without themselves knowing, many men in the crowd murmured among themselves, but none were able to come up with an answer, including Jehez.
”Who has all those?”
”Tell us the answer.”
Though the masses wanted to ask him that question, their pride came in the way.
”Hic,” the man in the red hat smiled to himself before answering, ”Everyone here except Booboo.”
”Booboo? Who's Booboo?” the men among the crowd looked around at each other's faces.
”Hey, are you Booboo?”
”No, I'm not. I heard you loud and clear, and my eyes can certainly see too—you fool!”
”Booboo… I feel like I've heard the name somewhere, or maybe not.”
”I've never heard that name before. Who'd have such a lame name?”
As the men in the crowd were in a discussion, the man in the red hat stated in a rising and stretching tone, ”I'm Booboo.”
”Eek!” After the truth sunk in during the next couple of seconds, the blood of most people in the crowd boiled quick. ”You dare try to make fools out of us!”
”I didn't,” the man in the red hat, Booboo, said.
”Shut up, you meathead!” some men among the crowd howled back. ”It's a miracle that you were able to climb up to this deck, looking like this!”
Booboo smiled a little, his eyes still partly closed. ”It seems that, even with me being as less able as I'm right now, hic, none of you can still see through the hiddenness of my heart, which makes you all nothing more special than my Heehaw.”
”Enough with your Heehaw bullshit,” Some popped their knuckles and was about to step forward. ”You'll now pay the price for that loose tongue of yours. We are gonna pull it all the way out for as long as your chicken brain can take it.”
Booboo took the wine bottle off his waist, opened its lid and tilted his head a bit backward to take a sip when the little crow that had been resting on the cat all this while now slid along the surface of the hat, forcing the crow to abruptly fly away.
One man, who noticed the wine bottle, squinted his eyes and took a closer look, and upon spotting the word 'Naive' labeled on it, he stopped mid-stride. ”That's Naive Wine!”
”What?” All the men who were stepping onward stopped straight away.
”Don't joke. Why would a twerp like him own Naive Wine?” As the crowd observed the bottle with no expectation, their eyes gradually swelled upon seeing the five-letter word printed on the glass bottle. ”I-It's… It's really Naive Wine!”
The mouths of many men hung open.
”W-Why does he have such an expensive wine?”
”He probably stole it from someone. Taking his getup into consideration, I won't be surprised if my guess hit the nail.”
”How lucky he must truly be to get his hands on such a precious thing!”
Envy filled many hearts to the extent they throbbed. Several men had long set their eyes on Booboo's earrings, but now, this wine bottle was not something they could act through as if they had never noticed it, especially when it came as a surprise.
When a few drops of wine got wasted on Booboo's black trousers, many men inwardly cursed his recklessness. Some even wanted to lick the wasted wine off his pants but couldn't come forward for trivial reasons.
Meanwhile, Gon was standing silently among the crowd, his brows furrowed to the max. Seeing Gon's expression, Jehez hurried off to Booboo. ”Hey, mister, you said that you have the ticket, didn't you?”
Boboo scanned Jehez from top to bottom with his half-closed eyes, ”Are you the referee?”
”Yeah, if you have the ticket, then be quick,” Jehez said in haste, ”we can't waste any more time.”
Booboo took out the ticket—a small card with cat painting, deck number 12, and the entry number 181818 on it—from under his belt and handed it to the referee.
After confirming the ticket, Jehez nodded. ”Hm, you can choose a cat.”
”Just send in a random cat,” Booboo said, giving a half-smile. ”By the way, can I make a bet on myself?”
”No, you can't bet on yourself,” Jehez was quick to reply, ”but you can let someone else do that for you given you trust them of course.”
”Of course, of course,” Booboo pointed his finger toward the donkey behind him. ”Can Heehaw bet for me?”
”You mean the donkey?” Jehez was startled. ”No, you can't. Since it doesn't have a conscience, you can't use it.”
Upon hearing their conversation, the crowd responded with hoots of laughter.