Chapter 439 Beyond the Differences (1/2)
CHAPTER 439
BEYOND THE DIFFERENCES
Lino clutched tightly at his chest, a piece of thin cloth pressed against his skin, wet as though he'd doused himself with a barrel of water. Glancing back, his pupils dilated at the mere memory, his heart skipping beats repeatedly. He quickly scowled back, hiding behind a slightly erect rock, resting against it. He couldn't stop his body from shaking, couldn't stop it from feeling the instinctual fear… yet, he didn't understand why.
Though certainly terrifying, the overwhelming feeling that washed over him temporarily was still far from enough to cripple him to such a point. There was something far more primal about the sensations surging from within, something that felt rather disconnected from his own reality. It was a blend, he realized shortly after, of his base instincts that were fed with Chaos for so long – effectively, the fear was not wholly his.
”… who was that?” he asked as he slowly came to.
”…” Ataxia didn't reply, though Lino waited patiently. The response was largely the Writ's, and for something to terrify Ataxia to such a point… Lino couldn't even blindly guess. ”It doesn't matter. We can't stay here anymore. Leave.”
”… no.” Lino replied. ”No more. Give it to me straight, or I'm going back and fighting whatever that is.”
”… go ahead if you never want to see your child again.” Ataxia replied, having already calmed down.
”—the Princess… the Princess of what? Yours? Your ex? If so, that was an apt reaction, I must say.” Lino chuckled faintly. ”Come on. I thought we were well past hiding things from each other.”
”It's an irrelevant remnant,” Ataxia replied. ”That should not be roaming the world. If you hope to find some answers from it… don't. It's a broken mind fueled by a base desire. It's… gone.”
”… a base desire, huh?” Lino mumbled lowly. ”Even if true, we both know that ain't just an ordinary, base desire, Ataxia. For a desire to feed the soul's entire purpose and existence… is it a Primal Spirit?”
”No…”
”… isn't it nominal that you ought to tell me about things trying to kill me specifically because of you? If I don't know what it can do, how can I fight it?”
”By not fighting it,” Ataxia said. ”There's no purpose to fighting. It can't be defeated or killed. As I said… it's a remnant. Eventually… it will fade.”
”—why are you so terrified of it, though?” Lino questioned. ”I've never in my life experienced that amount of fear. That… wasn't normal.”
”… let's go,” Ataxia said. ”We don't belong here.”
”—the greatest fuel of fear… is guilt and shame,” Lino said, ignoring Ataxia's subtle pleas. ”Trust me… I know. Perhaps to an extent that is nowhere near yours, but, it's all the same in principle.”
”…”
”If it is a remnant,” he continued, lowering his head and staring at the dirt. ”It doesn't necessarily mean it was born of resentment. Looking back… all I saw was a genuine desire, base joy. Who was she… Ataxia?”
”There is no need to humanize me,” Ataxia said following a short silence. ”As it is pointless. If I let guilt and shame cripple me every time I dealt with them, I would have never come as far as I did. Besides, our bond is of two minds, not of two hearts or souls; we are, effectively, each other's tools, means to an end. As I'm using you to achieve my goals, you are using me to realize your dreams. There is no need to corrupt the beauty of it all.”
”… whoever she may be, she's clearly always been looking for you, and will continue to do so,” Lino said, slowly getting up. ”If every time I come face to face with her, I bend over and weep like a bitch, I'd like to at least know why. She… has a powerful magnetism to her. The purity of her Chaos exceeds even mine, bar the Primal. Why not just tell me who she is if she's so irrelevant to the entire thing? Get it off your chest.”
”—you are wasting your precious breaths,” Ataxia replied. ”The magnetism is temporary, and the purity an illusion. Not every question needs or has an answer, Lyonel. Not every sentience has a story or a reason. Sometimes… it is what it seems. Nothing more. Nothing less.”
”… you may as well have told me to fuck off, instead,” Lino said, sighing as he slowly inspected his surroundings once more. He ensured that, at all times, his being was coated in his Will enriched by Primal Chaos, ensuring he wouldn't be located again. ”If you expect me to believe there's no story behind who she is. Everything… everyone has a story, Ataxia. You, your battles, the consequences, either intended or not, of those battles, the ever-expanding effect of all our decisions that change the course of the world without us ever even realizing it. My choice to kill Eos… spawned millions of stories that otherwise wouldn't have come to fruition. Your choice of me effectively cemented fates of thousands of people, yet it hardly erased their own stories. Just say you don't want to share. Don't lie to my face.”
”… hypocrite.”