Chapter 328 - She was asking for death now. (1/2)

Hearing Deming blaming himself for his incapability, Lifen was all guilty for thinking her previous actions righteous. She had thought that keeping her identity from childhood a secret, she was just preventing him from the pain of self – guilt, but never expected that her decision wouldn't help rather make it more worse.

Every word that was coming out of his lips were making her feel the equal pain of disappointment he was feeling in his heart. No, she never wanted this.

Though her mind was warning her not to turn around to face him, her heart was urging her to try her best to make him understand her thoughts that made her compel her to hide.

Giving in to the urge of her heart, she turned to look at him and as she thought he was standing there, looking at her with his eyes that held self – blame.

”Deming, you should listen to me first. Okay? You can't blame yourself like that. There was nothing you did wrong. The thing that made everything go wrong was the situation. I never thought it would turn like this”, she said trying to reach him.

But before her hand could even reach her, he moved backwards preventing her to touch him, ”So I wasn't wrong. You are accepting it that you are the little girl from the past, accepting that all this time you knew all these but still loved to look making me fool out of myself”

He was mocking himself with his words. There were tons of accusations he has in his heart for himself and also for the woman who has pretended to not know anything all this time.

Lifen felt her heart squeeze when he felt his sudden indifference. Her eyes instantly felt the tears of regret that her heart was feeling inside. ”It's not like that. Please, please listen to me once. I never knew you will blame yourself like this. I was just trying to protect you from….” Her words weren't even complete when she heard him chuckle.

She did not know for whom it was directed but it made the situation tenser than before.

”To protect me! Huh? Really? But why am I feeling the pain of backstabbing. If it was to protect me then there shouldn't be any pain. Right?” saying this he stepped forward, closer to her, staring deep into her eyes.

Lifen lowered her eyes, not able to face his eyes that were now accusing her. Tears that were acc.u.mulated in her eyes dropped down without any care. But none were being noticed,

”Why am I feeling the pain more worse than the pain I have felt when I lost my parents? Why? Answer me”, he asked, lifting her chin up so that she answered him looking into his eyes.

”I never knew that it would turn out in this way. I was about to tell you everything at the right time but before I could, you already knew everything”, she said.

”So there is still a feeling of regret in your heart that I came to know everything this early. Right time? What would be the right time for me to know this?” he asked with a low growl.

Lifen shook her head trying to deny his words but he was not in a mood to listen to a single word from her. At this moment, no reason made sense to him. He felt like he was cheated.

”Do you know when I realized my feelings for you for the first time, I blamed myself for breaking the promise that I made years ago. I felt like a cheater. But still I accepted that and took as my priority, my feelings for you as the priority”, he said and remembered the day when he confessed his feelings for her.

He still remembers how hard he urged her to accept him and forgive him, but she didn't. ”But you, what did you do? You asked me to forget you and marry some other woman because I promised her. Was it that simple for you to let me go, just like that. That wasn't the right time for you to reveal it was you to whom I have promised those words?”

She shook her head again, ”No I did not know at that time that you were fulfilling the promise that you have made to me. I thought you were…”

”You thought? I never hid my name from you. You always knew it. Even when we first met and also when we met again after my return. It was you whom I have to find. I thought it was a game that you wanted to play when you were child. I didn't know that you would take it as a competition and will let me go away if I failed” he said and then turned his back to her.