Chapter 131 part2 (1/2)

And now they really did start arguing! The two male gods are debating?!

“No matter what the understanding of people themselves is,” Lin Ze said, “from the perspective of the ultimate goal of our survival, it’s all the same. Let’s not talk about nihilism, isn’t it just seeking freedom? Drink.”

Chen Yekai had to drink. He put his elbow on the dining table and said, “Then do you think we’re free now?”

“At this moment,” Lin Ze said, “I’m free. Because I have no strong desires, my free will isn’t bound by desire.”

Chen Yekai, “So, wouldn’t this lead us back to our original question? We just keep suppressing ourselves because we know that life is bitterly short. Whatever we can’t get, we pretend we don’t want. But in reality, a lot of thoughts are like beasts that still know how to navigate — after you chase them away, they still know where your house is, and they will still return one night, right? You have to tame them.”

Lin Ze stopped talking. Chen Yekai pointed at a wine glass, and it was Lin Ze’s turn to drink now.

“Only then, can one’s innermost self and personality be integrated,” Chen Yekai said, “And obtain true freedom.”

Everyone was eating hot pot as they listened to their debate, and no one interrupted at the moment.

Lin Ze said, “All activities on the surface are just illusions that make us feel free.”

Chen Yekai, “……”

Lin Ze turned the tables, and pointed at a glass.

It was Chen Yekai’s turn to drink. Chen Yekai took a sip of wine. Zhou Sheng poured wine for them both. Chen Yekai was suddenly inspired by Lin Ze’s words, “He denies the existence of free will, but do you think you have free will? You acknowledge him, so acknowledge that people’s desires will never be satisfied. Desires that have been fulfilled will be replaced by unfulfilled desires. Acknowledging that happiness is only satisfying because of a momentary relief from pain means that you no longer believe in idealism.”

After he said this, Chen Yekai raised an eyebrow at Lin Ze expectantly.

Lin Ze said, “I don’t entirely agree with his point of view, he even promotes asceticism.”

Chen Yekai, “But according to your logic, that is the case.”

Still, Lin Ze had to admit that Chen Yekai’s logical counterattack had struck a weak point, so he drank.

Only then did Yu Hao understand. Lin Ze had used Schopenhauer’s argument to refute Chen Yekai, but Chen Yekai caught a loophole in his argument.

Lin Ze, “I just think that many goals and ideals can be changed. Before starting a family, you have certain ideals, and after starting a family, you have different ideals. This depends on the circumstances in your life; it’s the same reasoning behind the pursuit of satisfying one’s desires.”

Chen Yekai said, “But some things exist purely because of one’s natural instincts, it will never change from the first time you come into contact with it until the day you die.”

Lin Ze, “For example?”

Chen Yekai didn’t say anything. Zhou Sheng laughed, and when he was about to clink glasses with them, Lin Ze said after not getting an answer, “For me, ideals are like train stations. Passing by stop after stop, I don’t need to think about my destination.”

Yu Hao thought, yes! That’s so well said!

“For me……” Chen Yekai pondered about it, and stopped debating.

“……it is the Polaris in the city.” Chen Yekai said, “Living in a bustling downtown, the light from the lamps will cover up its radiance. But it’s always in the sky, it’s just that we can’t see it.

Only when I’m alone on a journey and wandering through the wilderness at night, would it then show me the way.”

Yu Hao thought, what the fuck, seems like Chen Yekai’s a little more amazing.

“Drink.” Chen Yekai snapped out of his daze, and everyone made a toast.

The atmosphere suddenly became a little heavy and silent. Situ Ye knocked on a glass with chopsticks, “Let’s sing?”

Yu Hao said, “Okay!”

“Wait!” Ou Qihang said, “Let’s see what they’ll sing on the countdown party first!”

Ou Qihang picked up the remote control and turned on the TV. There were quite a few popular songs in it this year. As soon as the party started, everyone could watch it and while their time away singing along like lunatics. Not long after, Yu Hao gathered up the dishes, and Ou Qihang helped him wash them. Zhou Sheng cut up some fruit, which he took out for everyone to eat. He sat down to watch the party with Situ Ye, while Lin Ze and Chen Yekai took the unfinished wine to the bookshelf in front of the huge landing windows, where they sat on a soft sofa to chat.

“I thought you would bring your boyfriend over.” Yu Hao said to Ou Qihang.

Ou Qihang was wearing Zhou Sheng’s apron as he washed dishes obediently. He looked at Yu Hao and smiled.

“I don’t have one.” Ou Qihang said, “And didn’t hook up with anyone either.”

Yu Hao said, “You’re not dating anyone?”

Ou Qihang said, “One of my juniors likes me, I’m still considering. I don’t really feel anything.”

Yu Hao said, “Respond to him if you like him, but if you don’t like him, then reject him seriously.”

Ou Qihang wiped the plates and said seriously, “Like how you rejected me at the start?”

Yu Hao smiled, “Yes.”

Ou Qihang looked into the distance, “Has Uncle Kai had a really unforgettable love before?”

Yu Hao said, “You should ask him yourself, I don’t know.” He was suddenly a little curious, “Why do you call him ‘Uncle Kai’ now? Did you guys meet in Beijing?”

Ou Qihang said, “Yeah, but he would only come out once in awhile when I went to find him. He has never taken the initiative to come find me.”

Yu Hao immediately thought that there was something strange. Chen Yekai was rather difficult to invite out. He would prefer reading at home alone in his spare time and wouldn’t talk on the phone if it was something that could be said through WeChat texts, and if it was something that could be said through the phone, he wouldn’t meet up in person. Basically, after he arrived at the college here, only Yu Hao could invite him out. No one else had been able to call Chen Yekai out.

He kind of wanted to ask Ou Qihang if he was interested in Chen Yekai, but he also felt embarrassed about it.

“You want to ask if I like him.” Ou Qihang said, “But you’re afraid that I’d feel embarrassed?”

Yu Hao, “……”

Yu Hao finished washing the chopsticks and handed them to Ou Qihang. Ou Qihang wiped them dry and said, “Embarrassment is good. Embarrassment is a kind of feeling that completely divides one’s self from the rest of the world. A person’s most embarrassing moment represents the instant when he is completely separated from his surroundings. At that time, he would most strongly feel the sense of his existence. I don’t mind that emotion in the slightest.”

Yu Hao said, “You must have been learning too much about computers, you’re practically like an AI.”

Ou Qihang laughed, “A little ba.”

Yu Hao was surprised, “You like him a little?”

Ou Qihang put the pot away and said seriously, “A little like an AI.”

Ou Qihang sat on the sofa and joined Zhou Sheng and Situ Ye with Yu Hao.

Situ Ye, “……the two of them are pretty similar when they’re melancholic, and there are some judgments on that basis that can’t be forgotten……”

After Yu Hao came over, Zhou Sheng and Situ Ye stopped their discussion. Situ Ye didn’t want to gossip about Lin Ze in front of Yu Hao, since Yu Hao was his subordinate after all.

“This is the first time I’ve had so many gays in my house.” Yu Hao said.