Chapter 1085: The person only she knows (2) (1/2)

He was the one that opens her heart. He came to her and under that cherry tree, he holds out his hand and she took it

She and him, against the world. She smiles a bit thinking of that memory. Azief was quite childish at the time.

She still remembers that day like it was yesterday. Even though, it is not quite how they thought it would happen, in some way they achieved a bit of that promise.

The thing is most of the time, he is the one that is fighting the world. And all she could do is watch.

Sometimes, it is because he did not want her to get in danger. At other times, it is because the battle is not something she could participate in.

Because she is not as strong as he is. She shakes her head.

This is her regret, her guilt. And that is not what she wants to think about

She thought of how she fell in love with him

Affection, friendliness turns to something more. Before she could stop the feeling she found herself falling in love with Azief.

There is no exact moment when she suddenly realizes that ”Ah, I had fallen in love with this person”

No, there is no such realization. She just is. Without even realizing it, she had fallen in love with him.

He was her savior. He was her protector.

And she thought that this feeling is simply that.

Gratitude mistaken as love.

But when you started thinking about someone all the time, that even when he was there, she is missing him, wanting to know him, then that is not simple gratitude anymore.

She was falling for him, and she did not even know it.

By the time she realizes she had already fallen so hard for him that she could not extricate herself from it.

But when she found out from Sina that she was Azief first love…it did make her doubt grow stronger.

That what he felt is simply a lingering feeling for her. A memory of a first love

Azief would never leave her because she believes that he had to keep that promise with her

That he will always choose him no matter what. That promise in the beginning sound like a sweet thing to say.

But as time passes, to her, it seems more like a curse that she had imposed upon him.

And that is not what she wanted at all.

She did not want her love to be some kind of curse for the one she loves.

She wonders is it because she was his first love, that he fell in love with her?

Or did he fall in love with her because he is in love with the idea of her

A lingering sweet memory of love.

When everything is simple and when they were young, that idea of her, a memory of a past that he wanted to have.

Azief was not his first love. But the first love of a woman and the first love of a man is very different

There is just something about first love that is romanticized.

First love defies duplication.

Because before such feeling, the heart is empty. Like a blank canvas. After, it is full of colors.

And when it ends, there is always a trace.

But sooner or later you will always find someone else.

But that feeling of first love? That could never be duplicated.  She wonders whether the reason why he finds it so hard to let her go is because he loved that Sofia

The Sofia he knew.

The one that got away. And did he stay because of her? Or did he stay because of his promise? Because of some sense of responsibility and pity?

And because he couldn't let go, she also could not let go. Because who would willingly want to let go the person they love?

But, if by staying you know that you would be hurt in the end, would you still stay?

If you know that you are only a chapter in a person story and not the main story, would you still stay?

The world might be different from the world before the Fall. But what is happening between him and her is the same story she had experienced before.

Before, his boyfriend is a rich young man and she was a young poor abused girl.

Their status in life is different and they were so many obstacles that they just weren't strong enough to overcome.