Chapter 576: Is this destiny? (3) (1/2)

Azief was never a perfect man. That was something he believe about himself. He is broken and he deserve broken things.

When he saw Sofia, he recognizes a girl that is the same ilk as him. Broken and damaged.

But the more he got to know her, the more he sees that this woman that she thought were broken is nothing like him

She is damaged and broken yet she keeps putting herself back up together. There is something enchanting about such strength that could not be quantify.

He admires that strength and he wishes that the him of the past also had that kind of strength. She was something he is not.

And then there is Katarina.

That woman is much more than just a pretty face. She has never seen a woman that strong before in his life.

She faced life valiantly even when life keep throwing thing at her.

Katarina is a woman beaten by life repeatedly, and Azief could imagine how many times she was beat down and stomp hard by this existence called life.

She is someone who had half of her life trapped under an alcoholic father.

She was abused by life and by society and by family. Azief notices that he has a type when he falls in love with Katarina.

Sofia was like that, and Katarina was also like that. He is attracted to broken things. But just like Sofia, he found out that life hasn't broken Katarina.

And probably they never could.

Just like Sofia, Katarina, despite evidence to the contrary, even during that dark times, she believes that she would get her happy ending.

And that is the most impressive thing.

She believes…. despite of it all.

When he heard her story, he was in tears, he just couldn't understand how could she believe that things would get better when all the things she had experience shows her that nothing could be farther than the truth?

Was it some kind of delusion to protect herself? Or was it just a way to cope with it all?

She said even in the darkest day, when winter came and it was so cold and she shivers in that dark room with wounds all over her body, she believes in it, because no one else believes in it.

No one believes that she will make it out alright so she chose to believe in it.

She refuses to be changed by her father. If her father chooses darkness, she would choose light and she would rather die than not believe in it.

He could not understand because he always falls down….and he never try to get back up.

He lied down and think about the pain and that is all he thinks about. The pain and whining about it, never facing the real problem head on.

He did not believe in hopes, in dreams, in friendship and in love because all of those things, they all betrayed him.

Sometimes, he asks whether it those thing that betrayed him or was it he that betrayed them?

What would happen if he did not give up? What would happen if he keeps believing and keeping the faith alive?

What if he ignores all those words that said he will fail and that he will regret it?

Would he be more?

Something more than he is?

There is always this darkness inside him that he did not want anyone to see. He did not want Sofia to see it and he did not want Katarina to see it.

That darkness is a bundle of insecurity, of problems that was not solved in the past, ugly emotions that he did not want to burden them with.

But sometimes it came out. It came out when he saw Raymond holding Sofia hands. It came out when he couldn't choose between the two.

And it came out each time when winter came and snows fall down. That darkness is still very much alive

And he is still broken. Even after all this time

Everyone only saw the sides he wanted them to see. The reliable side of Death Monarch. The strong and invincible Death Monarch, cold, calm and collected.

But that darkness always lurks in his heart. But this one year he had seen and experience things that made him think hard about the matters of his life and his past.

He sighed and then he smiles. He did not know whether that smile came out because he is happy or he is relieved or he is feeling wistful. Maybe, this time he s miles just because.

What he remembers most is pain. And for some reason he did not hate it. Not because he likes pain per se, but because that pain made him remember something.

That he still could get hurt.

When he walks that Thirteen Steps of the Supremacy Stairway, the pain while it was painful was also something that is refreshing.

He does not like pain. Instead he had always hated it