Chapter 204 - Ad Meliora? (1/2)
Imm.a.t.u.r.e is the heart of a man who has not yet experienced the frigid sting of betrayal... But even more imm.a.t.u.r.e and sinful is the heart of a man who has not learned how to forgive!
You call me a heartless fiend for what I have done but if I am guilty, then you are too!
— The Judgement of Yabua the Traitor by Idrea Maseth
A funny thing, the topic of forgiveness. Too many people considered it a virtue to be able to forgive and let go of past grudges and transgressions, despite the fact that most people were incapable of doing it themselves.
Or more accurately, most people have no interest in actually forgiving other people.
”Quite a paradox, no? That people venerate a concept that they don't even really care about. But that's what people are at their core — irrational, paradoxical, and generally unpredictable,” said Reed as he peered out of the open window in Lu'um's bedchamber.
It had happened so out of the blue that it had terrified Lu'um into a state of temporary catatonia as she stared at Reed like a deer in headlights. And for a solid minute, she seriously questioned if her mental condition had finally deteriorated beyond help...
In fact, the shock had been so great that for a small moment, her heart had actually skipped a couple of beats. Not in the metaphorical sense, but rather in the potentially dangerous and life-threatening sense.
”I-I don't believe it... Is that really... you?” said Lu'um, understandably distressed.
The denial in her heart was strong, as she did not believe that the day had finally come.
Even though Lu'um knew that this day would eventually come, she had not expected it to have arrived so... fast.
It had barely been half a year since the day that Reed had left Citlai alone. His prem.a.t.u.r.e arrival completely contradicted what she had been told by the Old Crone by a factor of three. Reed had not been scheduled to arrive for another year and yet...
Which could only mean two things — either the Old Crone had made a mistake or she had finally lost her mind a mere half a year without seeing Reed.
Lu'um did not know which one was worse, as they were both equally troubling.
Reed turned to look at Lu'um and said, ”Do you think I am a hallucination? Your concerns are understandable, but I can assure you that you are not having a schizophrenic episode at the moment.”
It was jarring looking at Reed, almost as if there was a thin veil of static around him. But more concerning than that was how he appeared — he looked like his former self, back when he had still been relatively human.
The babyfaced, impertinent expression on his face was like a physical memento of better times, simpler times... but she knew that something was wrong.
”What have you shrouded yourself with? I cannot make your face clearly,” said Lu'um as she slowly, cautiously approached Reed. ”Why are you hiding yourself? I am not your enemy.”
”Something necessary for my own sake,” said Reed with a polite smile on his face. ”Don't take it personally; I'm just looking after myself, just as anyone else would in... enemy territory.”
”We both know that's not true,” said Lu'um as she slowly extended one of her hands to touch Reed's face and continued by saying, ”What happened back then was jus—”
And then it happened.
Just as Lu'um's hand touched Reed's face, it just... passed right through his head.
”Ah... W-What is this?! You said tha—” said Lu'um into total disbelief.
”I know what I said,” interjected Reed before Lu'um could continue her train of thought and told her, ”And though I told you that I am real — which is the truth — I never said that... all of this is real.”
It had all been a bit of cruel fun on part of Reed, something that he had meticulously planned and trained for. A reversal of the same betrayal that Reed had been inflicted upon that day.
”That's not possible! I would've known, would've detected any kind of attempt to influence my mind! I admit you're very talented and learn quickly, but you're not that talented! Not enough to bypass my internal defenses and hijack my subconscious,” said Lu'um, unable to accept the situation.
Reed smirked and said, ”I'd agree with you, but only if we're talking about my former self. These days though, I've become capable of doing some pretty amazing things, you see...”
Lu'um's bedroom began to tremble as the walls, floor, and ceiling began to drift apart from each other, revealing an infinite plane of total darkness.
It had all been a set, an acting prop that had been created by Reed to better ease Lu'um into handing over control of her own subconscious to him.
Although Lu'um had caught on a little faster than anticipated, she had still given Reed enough time to burrow himself into the bottommost level of her mind. It was the same place that Reed had descended into back in Cem-Elle years ago.
In the end, this was how it was going to be. Rather than converse with Lu'um herself, Reed had decided to converse with someone higher in charge, so to speak.
Lu'um's soul.
There would be no lies here, for this would not be a conversation between two people, but rather a dialogue between two souls.
In this place, at the bottom of Lu'um's mind — f.o.r.c.i.b.l.y connected at the spiritual level — they would both be forced to drop all pretenses, for they were as n.a.k.e.d and pure as they could possibly be...