133 Back In The Saddle (1/2)

Nestled within the core of Reed's soul was a cache of knowledge that'd been hidden away from him. Akin to a bank's vault, Lu'um and Lacrima had poured a literal fortune's worth of knowledge within Reed's soul and sealed it away in secret.

A small contingency plan they'd devised back during Reed's trainee days. Had the impossible happened; an unforeseen calamity take them out, he'd still have the necessary knowledge to continue walking down his path unhindered by their deaths.

Some might've called their back up too hasty and superstitious, given how immature Reed had been at the time, but both of them knew better than to rely on the whims of fate.

While Reed had slept, they'd slowly gave his slumbering, injured soul the general gist of everything that it'd need to know in for the future. Had both of them died, Reed's soul would have carefully revealed bit and pieces in the form of prophetic dreams and visions to guide Reed along his destined path.

”I know how it fucked up it sounds, but the truth. I would have guided you forward until you reached this place, even if they weren't around to motivate you,” said the enormous face with an awkward expression. ”But you're here now, so it's all good. ...No harm, no foul, eh?”

”...No, that's still pretty fucked and you know it! That's a step below straight-up brainwashing me! Implanting knowledge and then hiding it from me?! And as if to add insult to injury, you were in on it too, you giant piece of shit! What in the FUCK is wrong with you?!”

”I keep telling that I'm you, rat-brain!! You played yourself, dumbass. And why does it even matter? You trust both of them, right? They've proven themselves time and time again that they're working your sake.

Unlike you, they've kept their word as promised. Can you say the same, fuckwit?

When have they ever hurt you or acted against your best interests, huh?! Give me a single example and I'll apologize.”

Reed trembled in anger but in the end, kept his mouth shut. He had nothing to say.

”...Uh-huh, that's what I thought, you ungrateful turd. I do understand where you're coming from, though. No one wants to have secrets kept from them, especially by their loved ones.

But you have to understand, you were far too young and immature at the time to handle the kind of shit they knew about you, him, the Infestation, and well, everything.

Look at your previous, irresponsible actions and try telling me you were ready to handle the truth back then. Shit, even now, you're still only half-ready, at best. You've grown some, I'll admit that, but you're still lacking compared to Lu'um, Lacrima, and Him.”

”What's that supposed to mean, asshole? You're me! I'm not even sure whether you're telling the truth about being my source of will. You're supposed to be on my side!” said Reed. He was getting tired of listening to the sound of his own grating voice.

Ever seen gravity lie to itself? Have you ever thrown an apple up in the air and it just never came back up? No, right? It's the same goddamn principle between us, too!

I spit facts you've accepted as truths, which means you've already accepted your inadequacies at some point in time. Do you know what you are right now?

An angry dog chasing its own tail in a circle, thinking its a separate entity from itself. You're getting mad at yourself, screaming at your own reflection like an idiot.

...Man, you're really pathetic sometimes, you know that? I don't even know what both of them see you.”

Reed crumpled onto the floor and let a long sigh out of resignation. He felt exhausted. He couldn't deal... with himself. A part of him couldn't accept that this was his soul, who he was at his core.

”Unlike you, I'm honest because it's in my nature to be true to myself. I can say the stuff you've buried in your heart, but can't say because you're still too immature and cowardly.”

”...Look, just tell me why the bastard stopped lending me his powers all of a sudden. Why my answer was good enough for him. I'm sure you can explain that to me, right? Or is that too much to ask?”

The enormous face rolled his eyes and said, ”Because he's a pompous little prick, that's why. The failure thinks that your reason for fighting is too frail and mundane, even though his reason's no better, despite what he's deluded himself into thinking.

You're right, Reed. That's pretty much all you really need to know. Don't believe his lies.

It's a million times better to take a stand for the ones you love than to move forward because of revenge, like that no-good manchild. He talks big about the greater good, salvation and all that nice, golden stuff, but he's just deluding himself.

You tell him to go fuck himself when you see him and tell him to shove his holier-than-thou bullshit up his lying ass. If he really was the person he claims he is, then none of this would have happened... He wouldn't have made her suffer the way he did.”

For the first time, Reed felt genuine hostility from the enormous face and he recoiled in surprise. It had a disgusted, furious expression that made Reed sweat bullets in fear. He didn't even know that he could make a face like that.