25 Farewell, Paradise... (1/2)
The sun slowly rose from beneath the horizon as it crawled back unto its throne in the sky; morning had come. A warm, pleasant sensation comforted Reed as the sun's radiance blanketed the island and he was finally dragged out from his slumber.
Reed felt as if a burden had been cast off of him as a result of last night's reflection and was satisfied with what he'd decided upon. The temptation of escaping to an unknown land of serenity had almost won over his heart. His cowardliness and spurned on an evil, detestable part of himself that was anathema to all of his dreams and hopes.
It was the unambitious devil in his soul that always sprung up when he was at his weakest and most vulnerable. There was no greater villain than he who whispered forbidden words in his ear; Reed knew all too well how incredibly persuasive he was. How many times had he fallen for his false promises over the years? He'd lost count long ago.
Were it not for her words of advice that cleared his mind, he would have fallen into the accursed fiend's grasp once again, he admitted. This was the truth and he knew it. He owed Lu'um a debt he would have to repay at some point -- his pride would never let him rest until he had done so.
He could not even imagine living a life without meaning, and yet, he had almost fallen into such a nightmare. What would have happened to him had he not been fortunate enough to listen to the sound counsel of the girl? A nasty shiver ran up his spine when he the thought about it.
But he was intensely curious about one thing particular; she'd never tried pushing him towards one decision or the other. She was prepared to walk beside him even if he'd chosen the path of cowardice.
The only conclusion was it'd been a test for him; that was why she'd said that before she gave him the advice he needed. To eliminate herself as a potential influence that could interfere with his final choice. That was what he thought. But why do that? That was the real question.
Of course, if he asked the girl, she'd probably tell him that he was overthinking the entire thing. That she was only acting out of pure, selfless interest for his sake. He just couldn't come to grips with the idea that someone would willingly devote themselves for another's sake. The world didn't work like that; it was a preposterous idea that ran contrary to what he'd seen and experienced...
Especially for someone such as he, who was nothing more than a single, insignificant speck on this world. What had he done to deserve her if what she said was really the truth?
It seemed like a fanciful joke to him -- his homegrown cynicism wouldn't permit to entertain the idea. Still, she'd proven herself worth as an ally yesterday. Reed couldn't deny that it wouldn't hurt keeping her around...
A soft voice broke Reed out his downward mental spiral.
”Are you well, Ka'an? Your heart is discordant and muddy; you harbor dark thoughts in the depths of your mind, do you not?” Lu'um asked. She brushed her hair out of her face and looked at Reed with a puzzled face.
”Your heart is still too weak and your soul too brittle. Bouts of joy and misery wash over you, all the same, like the waves at the shore. You lack the courage to seek happiness and the conviction to own it. Am I wrong?” she asked.
Reed felt naked under her piercing gaze; he wondered if he could even hide anything from her.
”You even doubt my intentions, do you not?”
”....”
Lu'um let out a bored sigh and said, ”Fine, then. I will settle the matter once and for all. It is best that we get over this here and now than let it grow into something worse.” She suddenly grabbed Reed's hands and put them on her neck.
”If you believe that I will hurt you or that I'm plotting some nefarious scheme, you should get rid of me before that happens. Go ahead, Ka'an, I will not resist. A mere thought and I will never be able to trouble you ever again.”
She whispered in a hushed tone, ”No will ever know what happened here. It will be as if I never existed in the first place. Do as you thou wilt, Ka'an.”
He looked into her amber eyes saw that boundless confidence laid within them; she was serious about this. She'd fearlessly thrown her life into his hands and it left him paralyzed to the core. He felt the slow, rhythmic beat of her heart through and felt the mortality of the girl.
They both continued to gaze upon one another as the seconds turned minutes. Time passed.
And then...
And then...
And then...
She removed his hands from her neck and put them on her chest. He felt the thrum of her life and his face turned a pale shade of white.
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”You made your choice even if you did not act. That is in itself a choice, nonetheless. I gave you an opportunity and you ran away from it. It is valid proof of my innocence and your weakness. You cannot deny it any more than you can deny your nature,” she said.
Reed could not so much as utter a single word; his entire being would not allow him to do so. He understood that he no longer had the right to doubt the girl anymore. There was nothing left for him to say.