407 Chapter 407: The Chronicles of Lute Dragoon (1/2)

Lute Dragoon was…in a word, a gigantic playboy. No, I wasn't talking about his physical size.

The number of women who fell in love with him was just ridiculous. It was as if girls fell for him just because he breathed. His mother was first among those to fall prey to his charms, and ended up giving him a handjob when he was seven, when they were taking his bath together. His half-sister (becaue his dad somehow managed to legally marry two wives, which was technically against the law but the original creator didn't care about logic) kissed him on the mouth when they were both eight, and even his stepmother (his father's second wife) ended up being seduced by his natural charisma. By fourteen all four of them were sleeping together, and by sleeping I did not mean \”resting\” but a more…let's just say carnal activity.

That wasn't even the extent of his harem. His childhood friend also clamored for his affections and lost her virginity to him, as did a princess from a neighboring empire. There was also that rich merchant's daughter who was willing to throw away her family's wealth just to be with him. Suffice to say, no beautiful girl was safe from Lute's clutches, such was his very existence as a harem protagonist that girls just fell for him and threw themselves at him for no reason other than because he walked on two legs. If I wasn't jaded, I would rationalize his existence as the very manifestation of a horny teenager's wet dream and his attempt at wish fulfilment.

Having heard all of that, I swore to myself that even if I lost to any of the other members in Saint Teresa Academy's team, I would never lose to a poorly conceptualized and highly unrealistic Mary Sue character like him. I was willing to sacrifice all the other matches just to destroy this piece of s. I was going to bash his handsome face in, even if it was the last thing I did.

As if God deigned to answer my prayers, he turned out to be the first opponent that Saint Teresa Academy sent out.

\”Richard, you're up.\”

Harrison nodded at me. I smiled and cracked my knuckles.

\”My pleasure.\”

Even as I stepped onto the stage, I could hear the cheers from the other side of the ring. Lute stood at his corner, looking all innocent and friendly while he basked in the cheers and encouragement from his entirely female group of fans.

\”Go, Lute!\”

\”I know you can win!\”

\”Beat that ugly bastard's face to the ground!\”

\”Do an all-kill! You can destroy that entire team by yourself!\”

A harem of almost a hundred girls were gathered in the spectator box, screaming their voices out as they cheered him on. Among them was his mother, stepmother (or second mother), his half-sister, the princess from the neighboring empire, the merchant's daughter, the childhood friend, the class president, the young, beautiful homeroom teacher, the school idol, the student council president with a dark, dirty secret, the twin-tailed tsundere with pink hair and a voice like Kugimiya Rie's, the black-haired yandere with hollow eyes and a creepy smile, the shy librarian who was hiding her cute face behind her book, the random girl he rescued from a bunch of strangers in a street somewhere, the sexy Assassin who was ordered to kill him but failed her mission and ended up falling for him because he \”spared her life\” and from henceforth did her best to seduce him as part of her new \”mission\” or some nonsense like that…

…okay. We were getting nowhere if I continued to list them. Just know there was almost a hundred of them, and I was disturbed to see that they were all crazy enough to share Lute amongst themselves, and didn't care that he had sex with each and every one of them everyday. That was one hell of a stamina, but hey, that was how his creator designed him (he evidently cared nothing for realism and just wanted to wank off to his wet dream).

\”I hope we have a good match!\” Lute told me earnestly. I nodded, trying not to shudder from disgust. Even though Lute Dragoon had been designed to be polite, well-mannered and the perfect gentleman (the very definition of a Mary Sue), his good points just felt so artificial that I wasn't able to perceive him as a real character. I wasn't sure how to put it, but he felt like a mannequin, a puppet or blank canvas for the writer or reader to self-insert himself into so that they could jerk off to badly written erotica involving him and his harem.

\”Y…yeah. Good luck.\” I nodded and took a deep breath. Above, Lute's harem of women obnoxiously rained insults and abuse down on me.

\”What a pathetic loser!\”

\”Crush him, Lute!\”

\”Hah! I'm sure Lute will utterly destroy him in less than ten seconds!\”

\”That's our Lute for you!\”

\”Girls…\” Lute turned to give his harem a dazzling smile. \”Please don't be so rude. And I'm not insolent enough to underestimate my opponent. He and his team have done well to make it this far in the tournament. I know they are formidable.\”

\”Whoa…\” The girls all looked at him, googly eyed, even his mother, stepmother and half-sister. \”Lute is so humble and respectful…I knew I was right to fall for him!\”

\”He's perfect!\”

\”I need to make love to him tonight!\”

\”No, it's my turn!\”

\”No, mine!\”

\”Why don't we all do it with him tonight? As a reward for him winning today's match.\”

They were already taking it for granted that Lute Dragoon would definitely win. The possibility that he would lose never even crossed their minds. I resisted the urge to bury my face in my palm. This was getting ridiculous.

\”Ready…!\” the commentator yelled, trying to make himself heard above the din that Lute's harem was creating. \”Match begin!\”

Lute immediately drew his spear and charged forward. I deflected his weapon away with Bai Ri and countered with Hei Yue, but he spun away and parried my black blade with the shaft of his twirling spear. We exchanged several furious blows in the middle of the arena, sparks flying between us and metal collided against metal. Neither of us gave any ground, our arms turning into spinning blurs that dished out death.

Well, not real death. With the boundary field, neither of us was going to die no matter what sort of fatal injury we sustained within the coliseum.