316 Chapter 316: Strange Logic (1/2)
”…huh?”
Zhao Zi Jun was gaping at the other guy from across the table. Well, not exactly. Hei Gui was actually framed within a holographic screen, his image flickering erratically. Zi Jun kicked the projector and the hologram stabilized, with Hei Gui no longer looking like a ghost, despite his name (Gui is syonym for ghost in Chinese).
”Did you not hear what I said?” Hei Gui asked, his lip curling. ”I just told you to arrange for an assassination.”
”No, no, no. I heard you just fine. I just think you're being stupid.” Zi Jun was shaking his head in utter disbelief. ”You think you can just order an assassin like going to a fast food restaurant, is it? That if you tell me you want someone assassinated, I can pull a professional killer out of my ass just like that, is it?”
”You're a branch member of one of the Ten Great Families,” Hei Gui pointed out indifferently. ”You have the means and resources…”
”NO, I DO NOT, YOU MORON!” Zi Jun yelled, even though he was aware of the difference in their statuses. ”What, you think this is some stupid Chinese webnovel, is it? Just because my family is rich and powerful doesn't mean we have connections to the underworld and can anyhow hire Assassins! Who the fuck go around hiring assassins just because they are rich?! Why the fuck do you want to kill Richard Huang anyway?!”
Hei Gui's brow furrowed into a scowl.
”My intelligence network has identified some ambiguous connection between that commoner male from Jing Tian Academy and Cecilia. Therefore, he must be destroyed.”
”LAN JIAO (Singapore swearing)! WHAT KIND OF FUCKING LOGIC IS THAT!? WHO THE FUCK DECIDES TO KILL SOME RANDOM NOBODY BASED ON SUCH A STUPID REASON?!”
Zi Jun couldn't help but roar at the holographic screen before burying his face in his palm. He was aware of Hei Gui's fearsome reputation as a perfectionist. He could guess that Hei Gui was aiming to marry Cecilia in place of the late Shawn Franklin. The Hei family, also one of the ten Great Families, wished to establish an intimate relationship with the Stuart family through marriage. Hei Gui probably viewed me as a threat (yes, I'm going to continue first person perspective here, courtesy of my protagonist privilege and ability to break the fourth wall), and he sought to eliminate me because he didn't want to leave anything to chance.
The problem was that…one did not simply hire assassins to kill people, even if you happened to be the son of one of the ten richest and most powerful families in the Federation. Especially over a reason as inane as ”Cecilia looked at this man differently” or other equally vague rumors. Assassins cost millions of dollars to hire, plus arranging such criminal activities entailed a high amount of risk. They were not means that could be simply employed based on some childish whim. Nor was the sum of millions something that mere children happened to have saved up – for Zhao to mobilize such tremendous amounts of cash, he would need to justify to his parents why he was spending such a fortune as well as taking on such a massive risk, which could spell the death sentence if he ever got caught.
Honestly, the Chinese writers who often resorted to such idiotic tropes in their webnovels had no idea how the real world worked, nor did they do sufficient research on how the rich operated. They just made stupid things up just to throw the protagonist into some dumb conflict. And in this case, it wasn't even because of any actual good reason, but a contrived context where the protagonist was attacked for literally no reason other than because he was the protagonist.
Cecilia had an ambiguous connection to me? She looked at me differently? That was enough of a basis to send assassins after me? The fuck kind of reason was that? Why target only me then? You might as well go kill every single male in her age group who had interacted with her. What utter bullshit. Only in Chinese webnovels would you find this kind of logic handwaved into existence by an incompetent writer.
”Dude…Brother Gui.” Zi Jun was taking a deep breath and trying to force himself to calm down. ”Think about this rationally, okay? You can't just anyhow waste money and resources hiring assassins to kill a single common guy for no reason other than because you heard some bo liao (dumb) rumors. Cecilia looks at him differently? That's because he's one of the only two guys who have ever defeated her. And he rejected her and she moved on already lah. Why you still want to stir shit up? You think killing people is so easy, is it? We must cover our asses and make sure it doesn't get traced back to us, we have to spend a lot of money, go through a lot of ma fan (trouble) just to get a single person killed. All over a stupid rumor. You think hiring assassin is cheap, is it? Hey, the amount of money is not peanuts lah. Also, it's a human life we're talking about here, you know? This is fucking murder, you know? You think you can just kill someone and get away, is it?”
”Yes,” Hei Gui replied seriously. ”Who can touch me? I'm an heir to one of the ten Great Families. Screw the rules, I have money. And status. And power.”
”You seow ah?! (Singaporean colloquialism for 'are you crazy?!')” Zhao Zi Jun threw up both his hands.
”No, I'm Hei Gui.”
”Chao Chi Bai, kaninah… (Swearing, Singaporean style…trust me, you don't want me to translate this…it's basically Hokkien).” Zi Jun buried his face in his palm so hard his face almost turned red. ”Limpei (I) want to vomit blood sia…”
”…huh?”
”Aiyah, never mind lah. Anyway, no. Don't do anything stupid. Not this close to the tournament. Don't anyhow kill people, can or not? Use your brain, okay? If someone dies this close to the tournament, what if they trace it back to us? You think the police stupid, ah? Huh?”
”The police can't touch me.”
”Alamak! Don't be so naïve, can or not? You think this is China, ah? Hello! This is the Federation lah! Anti-corruption, anti-nepotism! Even if the police cannot touch you, you think the other nine Great Families also cannot, is it? They confirm will find reason one. They will kaopei kaobu (kick up a fuss) and use this opportunity to get rid of you and eliminate your family…or at least weaken your clan by arresting its first heir. Don't forget hor, the police not under us. They under the Lacroix clan, and you know how those white knight lan jiao all very gum one (those white knight bastards have a close relationship with each other). You forget ah? They love to kaopei (preach) about justice, and use justice as an excuse to kajiao (disturb/provoke/pressure) the other clans. Not worth it, bro.”
Hei Gui's lips thinned. ”If you won't do it, then I will find someone who will.”
”Okay, whatever lor. Just don't jio (invite) me, can already. I don't want to get involved. Bye!”
Zi Jun hurriedly switched off the holographic screen before Hei Gui could say anything else. He shuddered.
”Wah kao, that chao chibai seow liao lah (Man, that fucker is crazy). Anyhow kill people over no reason. He think this is China, is it?”
Needless to say, despite looking around and asking around, Hei Gui failed to persuade anyone to listen to him. His parents, upon hearing his extreme request, got all worried and ended up sending him to a psychiatrist.
”From such a young age, he is already harboring psychotic and homicidal tendencies…”
”We've to send him to a mental institution.”
”Yeah, but we can't let anyone know about this, or our Hei Clan will be humiliated…especially by the other families…how could this have happened? Where did we go wrong? Did we bring him up wrongly?”
”It's our fault for not teaching him properly…”