181 Chapter 181: Free Lunch (2/2)

My hand froze, and the sushi nearly dropped out of my chopsticks. I turned to regard her a little stiffly, and shook my head.

”Thanks.”

”…it was a tragedy. I didn't expect that…”

”No one did. It was my fault. If only I had been more vigilant…if only I had known…” I placed my chopsticks down and clenched my right hand into a fist. ”She wouldn't have…”

”Nobody could have anticipated that,” Cecilia told me gently. ”You shouldn't blame yourself.”

On the other end of the table, Roland fell silent for a bit when he sensed the mood. He just nodded, as if to himself, and turned away.

In contrast, Adrian smiled brightly.

”Well, at least you now have a chance, Sister Cecilia!”

Then he turned pale when he caught the looks on both of our faces, and gulped, realizing that he had just said something extremely insensitive. Even Roland was giving him a cold stare. Only Elem couldn't care less about what was being discussed around the table, swallowing another huge chunk of spare ribs.

”S…sorry. I didn't mean…”

”It's fine,” I told him with a sigh. Unlike me, Cecilia was still enraged, her tone level but frosty.

”Alicia is my friend, and a very precious person to Richard, Adrian. Please do not talk about her in that manner.”

”Y…yes. Sorry.”

”And do not ever imply that I am one to take advantage of a friend's untimely demise.”

”…yes.”

Feeling sorry for Adrian, I quickly intervened. ”I don't think Adrian ever meant to imply that. I think he has learned his lesson.”

Cecilia shifted her icy gaze to me, and then she shook her head with a sigh. ”You're too soft, Richard.”

”Isn't that fine?” Roland asked as he leaned back, chewing on a large piece of sashimi. An octopus tentacle stuck out of his mouth before he swallowed it. ”I think that's one of his good points. The world is filled with too much violence and cruelty.” He glanced imperceptibly at Elem as he said that. His elite bodyguard pointedly ignored him in favor of stuffing a huge chicken thigh into his mouth and tearing its flesh off with his teeth. Roland shook his head with a chuckle. ”We need to balance it out with kindness and gentleness.”

Cecilia stared at him in shock.

”I did not expect the crown prince of the Amazerian Empire to say something like that.”

”There are a lot of things you will not expect.” Roland shrugged lazily. ”Even I have encountered things that are way beyond my calculations or predictions. As much as the world is full of dangers and hardship, it is also full of mysteries and wonders. If we don't appreciate the good things in this world, then what is there to live for?”

”Living is painful,” I replied. ”Life is too painful, the reality that conforms the universal belief that it is best not to be born.”

I hardly thought anyone would have read Dazai Osamu's The Setting Sun, so I wasn't surprised that no one recognized the quote. They were all staring at me blankly.

”I didn't think that you are a pessimist,” Cecilia remarked. I shrugged.

”I'm not. I'm just quoting someone.”

”Never heard of that quote before,” Roland admitted. I smiled. So there was something even the crown prince didn't know.

”That's fine.” I was the one who randomly majored in Japanese literature before I found myself transported to this world, almost a millennium into the future. ”It's not important. I guess what I meant to say is this. As painful as living is, there are just some things worth living for…worth enduring the suffering and misery throughout life. After all, there can be no joy without misery, no enjoyment without suffering. We all live on in the hope that we can eventually overcome despair.”

Then I realized everyone was staring at me.

”…what?”

”No, just didn't expect you to say that either,” Cecilia replied. Roland chuckled.

”I mean, I did think you were a somewhat sophisticated and intelligent fellow, but I didn't think you'll get all philosophical on us.”

Now he was embarrassing me. ”Hey, you're the one who started this whole discussion. Anyway, who wants more food?” Grabbing the menu – which was in the form of a holographic device with a touchscreen that automatically recorded our orders and sent them straight to the chefs in the kitchen without us needing to wait for a waiter or waitress, I used it to hide my face from everyone's intense gazes. ”What else do you want to order?”

”More sushi!” Adrian hollered, eliciting a laugh from all the older guys and girl sitting around the table.