49 Episode 48: What Seeks Magic (Part I) (2/2)
I frowned at Miss Halfis's words. I want you to give me the wisdom of magic, hey.
”May I ask why?
”I'm not sneaky to expose myself to shame... but I'm not sure my magical arm is okay. Whatever the grades of the college, whether it's seating or manners, magic will be quicker to count from below.”
Miss Halfis zeroes a grunt that seeps so much remorse that she seems to bite her lips. Besides, I look like I'm in trouble. I was in the middle of a conversation, but I'm going to pinch my mouth.
”I want you to wait a minute. So why would you want to hear about magic? If you're looking for something magical, I say no.”
”Yes, no! Oh, no, it's not! I don't mean to do that! It's just... I have my doubts.”
”Doubt?”
”… distrust of the Spirit”
Miss Halfis shrugs as if confessing her sins. distrust of the Spirit, I frowned when I heard.
That does make it sound like a confession of sin. Because that's a wrong thought as a magician, as a teaching in this country.
”Many times I read the magic textbook and deciphered the references. I changed my daily life and continued enthusiastically with indispensable prayer for the Spirit. But my magic never showed any signs of improvement...... but if I talk to my parents and teachers about it, they will say. As long as you don't believe, magic will never improve.”
The Spirit receives people's prayers and wishes, and gives them the miracle of magic. That is the general perception of magic in this country as well.
Faith in the Spirit dulls magic. Don't doubt the Spirit. There's nothing wrong with that. I'm sure that's what they said. I know because I've been told, too. Believe in the Spirit more.
”... my engagement with Marion was made under the promise that my father would serve Marion's father well and unite his children to deepen their relationship with each other's homes. But I'm told I shouldn't blank my engagement because I don't have the magic talent.”
”Is that... my parents?
”No, my father's surroundings.”
It was Marion who replied in place of Miss Halfis. Miss Halfis bites her lips and lets her gaze down.
”I am the son of a member of the Ministry of Magic. Yet they say that magic is inferior to the other's son-in-law. I was wondering if you could reconsider to leave some excellent blood behind.”
”Is Marion good?
”As a young man, I went straight into the Ministry of Magic with my graduation”
”Which means you're good.”
It takes a lot of magical talent to enter the Ministry of Magic. Is it the influence, the people in the Ministry of Magic are generally elite thinking. In fact, I admit he's an excellent wizard.
”Because my brother will inherit my home, I have no choice but to merit to start a new home or enter my son-in-law's house elsewhere. My father and I don't think we're going to destroy our engagement, but the pressure is getting stronger, and I haven't had an invitation from your daughter once or twice.”
”Ugh...”
It's a story that comes down unexpectedly. Marion does look good. I guess it's an excellent property if you think you just have the strength to get into the Ministry of Magic there. I have to leave the house, so maybe a lot of ladies want to welcome me home.
That's why I don't like trying to take it away from someone who has a fiancée. I wish that engagement wreck was a round one, but that doesn't seem like it.
”This situation, even for me, is unintentional. Honestly, I have to wonder what the Spirit is and what magic is for while I'm about to stop by Halfis...”
”... as good as it gets”
It's like instinct to want better blood. That's not to be denied. Marion and those who work around him may also be words from goodwill. To leave a good wizard behind.
Plus Miss Halfis's position is weak when the other person becomes the son of the Count family. I don't think there are many who would rather be in our home than Miss Halfis if they were son-in-law.
”Originally the Viscount Nebles family was a house the knight was pleased with. That loyalty and mindset is still handed down today. For the country, and for the Anties who took us. … I have thought that I should pull back, which is not even me.”
Miss Halfis, who was biting off her lips, slowly raised her face. There's a sad look there. That's about all I could tell you about how much I was worried about.
”Still, I admire Master Marion. I don't want to lie about this feeling.”
”... I know what happened to Miss Halfis. The history of distrust of the Spirit is also painful. So why are you asking me to talk to you?
”I heard rumors. Her Royal Highness Princess Anisphere said that magic was academic. That's an unprecedented magical point of view, and you'll be able to expand your visibility. Her Royal Highness Princess Anisphere is now looking for new talent to teach magic.”
”Rumor, hey”
”We have also heard that His Majesty gave his royal life in anticipation of the point of view of magic. If you ask me… I have prepared seats like this without being present or standing.”
... As far as I can tell, I understand the story. I unwittingly arm myself and shut up.
Yeah, I got the story. But I don't know how to convey this thought to her.
”... I also somehow understand why Marion is here. You want to help Miss Halfis, don't you?
”I've come to question myself, for some reason...... yes. I love her too. I don't want to keep messing around with people.”
Marion also mouths spicy. Makes me want to exhale by accident.
”What about Gakun?
”Please call me by my proper name!... I'm not as deeply troubled as Marion or Miss Halfis. I just feel my limitations, don't I? I can't stretch my magic anymore.”
”... not serious, but the same worries as Miss Halfis?
”No, I,... No, I, ha”
”Uh, no more, just break it down and talk. Because I don't care.”
”Hi-no... Well, I don't think magic has to stretch. I'm a knight, and I know magic isn't the only way to be strong. I think it's smarter to bow your head to someone who knows how to be strong enough to do something that doesn't fit your height.”
”So you want to rely on magic?
”Rather than relying on it, I want to know if you can see from Master Anisphere whether you can still stretch the magic. I want to be strong. It doesn't have to be magic.”
Gakun looks straight at me and says so. In a way, should I say clean? Whether magic really doesn't stretch, and if it doesn't, is there another way? In that sense, it's positive compared to Miss Halfis and Marion.
I listen to them so far, and the bitter things in me spread inside me. Exhale slowly and mouth wishing that bitter feeling was not poisonous.
”I'm honestly glad you're expecting me, and it's an honor. But I don't know if I can help you...”
”- Dear Anis,
I don't know, the mouth I tried to say was blocked by Uffi. Yufi is staring at me with only a few eyes caught. What, why is Yufi staring at me...?
”Dear Anis, you can't speak of that”
”But, Uffi”
”They're the ones who decide that. They're just begging you to teach them, and they're not asking you to save them....... I know how you feel. But what you need now is not kindness. Confidence.”
”... Confidence?
”Trust your“ magic. ”What you have learned about the path you have taken. There will also be a responsibility on the part of teaching. You'll also need to guide them right. But as much as you learn, you have to think about it and be prepared to choose the right path.... you should decline if their readiness is disproportionate. So if Anis doesn't speak with confidence, he shouldn't.”
”... so confident”
Thoughts floating like starch. Can I teach anyone about magic, my God? Because I can't use magic. All this time, those thoughts were lying in my heart. I wonder how I can preach the teachings of “magic itself” to someone who can use magic.
But. If I can't... Then who the hell can? I am also familiar with the bitterness of not being able to use magic. What has saved me from such suffering? If you think about it, you'll get your own answers.
”... right. Thank you, Uffi. I shouldn't talk about it.”
”Yes.”
”'Cause I don't know.” Look for answers. That's my way of life. So if you can't do that... I can't tell you. My magic is not meant to save someone. I'm thinking about walking out to save myself. ”
My thoughts gradually settle when I speak for myself. “Magic” is a miracle to me that makes someone smile. But I was never given the miracle.
But I didn't want a miracle from me. I did want to use it. Instead of praying for a miracle though, I chose the path to grasp hope.
That's my way of life. There was no miracle for me, but there is hope that I found it myself. I don't know, so move on. I may have been really scared to ask someone to be ready for that.
”Miss Halfis, Marion,... and then Gakkun”
”Next!? Please stop gagging!?”
”Chip...... Bye, Gark. I'm gonna ask the three of you again, okay? Are you ready to grab the stars?
”... the stars? No, you can't reach that.”
Hey, Gah. Read the air, that's why you're gagging, gagging! You bastard!
”That's what my magic is all about. I flew through the sky. Then we have to be willing to grab the stars next time. There is no end. Nobody decides. It's all up to you. Someone won't be ready to finish it, or maybe they won't help. Still ready to shape dreams you can't grasp?
Three people shut up about my inquiry. And it was Miss Halfis who opened her mouth first a little while later.
”As long as you keep exposed to yourself without even being like this, I'd like to follow the stars even if they say you're unusual and funny. Please show me the mark for this, Your Highness.”
”From me, too, please. If this is another way to explore, we will be ready to continue later.”
Miss Halfis is followed by Marion who also looks straight at me and says: If you look into those eyes, it's silly to ask them if they're ready.
Gakun... what, let me hold your mouth. What is that attitude that doesn't boil off?
”... Gurk. Why don't you just confess?”
”Stop it, Marion”
”You said you joined the Kingsguard knights, not the border, because you wanted to be near the Princess Anisphere you admired.”
”Duhhhh!?”
... Huh?
”Why do you say it in front of him?”
”I guess it's because you don't boil it off. You've been admiring Princess Anisphere since I went home on a long vacation and suddenly told you I was going to join the Kingsguard Knights when I got back. I knew I was desperately thinking of dialogue by myself if I could take that teaching...”
”Ya, stop, wow, wow, wow!!”
”Shut up, Gah”
Why is it such an idea to admire me when I did it to you? Are you a mazo?
”No, it's not! I'm really just impressed with Master Anisphere...! Oh, no, Marion! You!”
”Yes, yes, I know Gakun too, so be quiet”
”Goddamn it... kill it...!
There's no demand, Gakun said! Shut up already!
And Raini, don't point your raw, warm gaze at me. Don't even look at me with a smile on your face. Goddamn it, Gah...!