Chapter 8 - The Past 01 (1/2)

Translator: Blushy

Editor: delishnoodles

Behind my closed eyelids, I pictured the past that will never return.

I vividly recalled the happy and painful past.

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I still remember the day when my marriage was decided.

It was a freezing afternoon.

“Master is calling you. He has something to talk to you about.” A voice called out to me from behind me as I was sweeping the fallen leaves that were blown by the fierce northern wind, and I turned back.

There stood a servant boy of the same age as me. He glared at me in displeasure.

Why do I have to do something like this? ――― This was written on the boy’s face. He got even more annoyed when I just stood there without replying.

“Are you listening? If you are, then answer. Simpleton.”

I became even more speechless when I was attacked with cold scorn.

Idiot, blockhead, useless, and simpleton.

Endless insults got hurled my way.

My heart still felt like it was being gouged out even if I was used to the pain.

My heart, which was flowing with blood, chilled, and I felt as if it had frozen over.

I froze while gripping the broom handle.

The hard feeling of the handle brought me back, and I felt like I was even being rejected by inorganic matter.

The boy lost his temper at not receiving a reply from me no matter how long he stood there. He said over his shoulders, “Hurry up and go,” before leaving.

I watched as the dead leaves chased after him with a rustle and lamented that I had to sweep again.

――― It won’t become clean no matter how much I sweep.

I fixed my hood, raised my face and saw the grey and cloudy winter sky. It looked like it would rain at any time.

The fallen leaves stick to the ground when it rains, and it becomes difficult to sweep.

I wanted to finish cleaning before that happened, but even a simpleton like me understood that the master’s order had priority.

I gave up, put the broom and dustpan away and went to where the master was.

“You’re slow.” I was struck with this comment as soon as I entered his study and bowed my head in apology.

I saw a middle-aged man standing at the window that was the only light source of this dim room when I raised my face. He frowned as if he was looking at something disgusting.

In contrast to me, the man was wearing a luxurious velvet jacket with a silk shirt with lots of lace underneath.

His pants and shoes were also first-class goods.

However, the delicate buttons on his shirt looked as if they would flip off at any moment because he was fat.

His face was round and made it seem like his handsome face from his youth was a lie. His cheeks and chin were full of fat.

The only thing that hadn’t changed was his vibrant blonde hair. That day, he had it combed to the back of his head so that it wouldn’t become dishevelled.

――― A pig in noble clothes.

In those days, I called him this; an ugly and greedy pig with no grace.

The man’s name is Rudolph Heinz von Lagerfeld.

A noble with the rank of Marquis and the master of this mansion.

At the same time, he was my master and father.

I was a child born between this man and my mother, who was a prostitute, and I was taken to this man’s home six years ago when my mother passed away because of an epidemic disease.

“What do you want to talk to me about?” I asked while looking down at my black and dirty hands, and he replied by clicking his tongue.

What he didn’t like was probably my very existence.

I think it’s funny.

It was all this man’s fault that I existed and looked dirty.

“Stop acting like a servant. You’ll be trained in etiquette and culture from tomorrow.”

“What is the meaning of this?” I asked.

The man twisted his face in disgust.

“It means that you’ll be treated as my daughter.”

What are you saying now?

I was insulted as a prostitute’s daughter and as a greedy girl. You worked me hard and told me that if I wanted to stay in this house, then I had to work as a servant.

You worked me until my back started hurting, took away my meals if I slacked off by finding fault in me and threw me in the cold.

And yet, why are you saying such a thing now…?

“What’s with that look? The extremely greedy you is going to be treated as a noble’s daughter, you know? What don’t you like? You should be grateful and rub your head against the floor,” the man said.

I couldn’t look him straight in the face as he laughed unpleasantly, so I looked down.

I slowly kneeled down, put my hands on the floor, and lowered my head while grovelling.

“Thank you, master.”

The floor was cold and froze my heart.

At that time, I didn’t just feel the pain that I was used to, I also knew that this was humiliation.

So, I didn’t resist.

It was better to throw away what little pride I had instead of opposing him and getting hit.

“Why…”

“What?” He asked, probably because it was hard to hear me while I was grovelling.

I slowly lifted my face, sat down on the floor and asked again, “Would you tell me why?”

“I’m going to use you as a pawn. I’ll marry you off.”