Chapter 167 - Within and Outside of Expectations (1/2)

◆ Hiiragi Haruka ◆

For lunch break, we met up in the world history preparation room for the first time in a while.

It really feels like such a long time since we’ve been able to sit down face to face while alone.

Thinking back, for the past two months, I feel like I’ve been skirting around trying to run away by making up excuses every time I was asked if I had any plans. It’s true that I was busy, but I also had my worries for Seiji-kun to think about.

If you were to ask something like that of a 17-year-old high school student, they might actually say that everything was fine as it was. However, that might only be said because there was no other choice—

“Good work.”

The door opened and Seiji-kun came inside. My face tensed up a little. Seeing as I was acting this way, the perceptive Seiji-kun seemed to have realized that something was up.

“Yeah. You too.”

Instead of spreading out our lunch, we exchanged some casual conversation between the two of us. I already knew about Seiji-kun’s test results before Seiji-kun told me, but I still wanted to talk to him, so I started off with a topic that I understood well.

“Well, aren’t tests kind of just like this? If I work hard starting the summer of my senior year, I’ll make it in time like I did last time.”

Last time? I was curious, but if Seiji-kun is fine, then I guess it’s okay.

We didn’t sit down, we didn’t spread out the picnic sheet, nor did we open up lunch. It felt somewhat unnatural, but Seiji-kun never questioned that sense of incongruity.

The conversation came to a stop, and a long silence followed. Is it really okay? I don’t know how many times this question has come up within my mind.

“Seiji-kun…?”

“Hmm?”

I told him what I thought, what I felt. Then, I told him that I wanted to end our relationship.

His hurt expression was one that I had never seen until now. I understood that I had hurt someone I was never supposed to injure.

“No matter what I say, this might just be my ego… Sorry.”

The shaking voice of someone throwing off the person that they love, sounded as if it came from another person entirely.

“Is this a decision you are making while thinking about me?”

He might think that it’s my own selfishness. He might label me as a terrible woman.

“As expected, it comes down to this…”

Seiji-kun muttered in a low voice. Within his saddened expression, there seemed to be some semblance of calm.

“I understand.”

I could never imagine him being super distraught, nor could I imagine him wailing and crying, but contrary to what I thought, he was quick to give his understanding.

It was anticlimactic in that there wasn’t any entanglement.

In truth, I wanted him to be sadder. I wanted him to get angrier. When he nods his head so easily like that, I can only think that this relationship only meant so much to Seiji-kun. It’s selfish of me to say that though after bringing up the breakup.

… Aaah. Probably, no, most definitely.

I might have been scared of Seiji-kun’s maturity—no, more than that—his ability to look far into the future.

Without revealing any of his emotions, he accepts logical arguments. If our positions were to be reversed, and he were the one to break up with me, would I be able to think it over logically?

I was definitely scared of that.

From now on, many other wonderful and charming women would definitely appear around Seiji-kun. That’s even the case now.

It’s not a lie to think that there are more suitable and attractive women for Seiji-kun.

I was afraid that my beloved person would end up throwing me away with no room for discussion. That’s something that I end up thinking about unconsciously.

“It isn’t like you fell in love with someone else, right?”

I shook my head with all I had.

“There isn’t any other reason. What I told you are my true feelings.”

“I see.”

Then that’s good, Seiji-kun muttered.

“Since I’m only a high schooler, Hiiragi-chan is the only one that I can see, and I have no other options. So, you’re thinking that there are plenty of other wonderful women to meet.”

“Yeah.”

Hiiragi-chan… He isn’t calling me Sensei or Haruka-san. Aaah… does he perhaps normally call me that within his mind? Since he can’t afford to smooth it over within himself—

“No matter what path, it’ll take 10 years…? Aaaah, then, once I turn into an adult, after meeting various other women, what should I do if you’re still number one. What if I still love you all this time.”

“What should you do…?”

I don’t know. How would I know? It’s not like we broke up because we hated each other. Just those words made me happy inside.

If you still like me, come back to me. There’s no way I can say that, especially as the person who dumped him.

“There will definitely be great people that will show up for you, Seiji-kun.”

“Maybe, but even if they do appear, I don’t think I’ll see them. After all, that was even the case for the present me.”

“What do you mean?”