Chapter 34 - Homesickness (1/2)

After a long, exhausting day of bridal lessons and political intrigue I dreamed of home.

The scorching Arizona heat invaded from all sides as I casually strolled down the street my apartment building was on. The smell of sage hung heavy in the air and sweat made my shirt stick to my back.

A perfectly normal day.

My apartment came into view and once I opened the door I was greeted with all of my bookshelves filled with paperbacks and DVDs.

When I was abruptly woken by a maid there were tears on my face. Waking up in a cold stone room, albeit a lavishly decorated one, was the last thing I wanted.

As the maid helped dress me in yet another restrictive cage I managed not to sob but the tears wouldn't stop flowing. Why did I have to dream about home? That was the cruelest dream I could have had.

Being in this world for more than six months, I had only cried once when Adele reminded me of Abby. Was the stress of trying to fix everything finally getting to me?

Once the maid fixed my hair and tried moving to my makeup she noticed that I had been crying.

”Milady, your face! What's wrong?”

A sob finally worked its way up my throat. ”I want to go home!”

”Milady, your family is still in the capital for the fall session of court. It would be easy to invite them to the palace,” she reasoned.

”No!”

They couldn't come here and see me in this state. The countess would only scold me. The earl would ignore me as usual and Percy…he wouldn't understand.

”It's not the people, it's the place,” I tried to explain.

The maid didn't seem to get it but thankfully let the subject drop as she worked to cover the puffiness.

Unfortunately, makeup can only do so much. Al noticed there was something up with me at breakfast and confronted me afterwards in the library since Madame Chalaise was indisposed and had given me the morning off.

”You have been awfully quiet this morning. Is something wrong?”

My traitorous eyes began watering again because someone bothered showing me concern. If you try to comfort someone who has cried, they will only cry more even if it seems like they are done.

His concerned expression was startled right off his face at the sight of my tears and he was at a loss. It was plain to see that Al had zero experience comforting anyone.

”Katie?” he asked nervously.

My name—my real name—was enough to make the dam break completely. I hunched over and sobbed my heart out in a way I hadn't since coming here.

At first it had been fun and games. I had genuinely enjoyed my life as healthy person for a while. Then things kept piling up and now I saw no way out of the situation I'd trapped myself in.

I had no idea what to do and it finally hit me that this was my reality. I was stuck as Catherine du Pont and had to deal with both her problems and mine.

It was too much for me to handle and not one person in this world knew the truth. I had to deal with it all alone.