43 A Devoted Woman, Poison and Smoke (1/2)

Countless heroes in this world, yet they are nothing in my eyes. I dream of nothing and nobody else in the bedchamber, for my love belongs to a single person. All the other spaces my heart has been scorched by this devastating flame!

This was an excerpt from a poem Yun Zuaiyue had written but never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined it coming from Yun Yang’s mouth. This was impossible!

Shaking his head at Yun Zuiyue’s question, Yun Yang sighed slowly and said, “I’m sorry, but I simply can’t tell you who I am.”

Yun Zuiyue’s soul seemed to depart her body as she slowly let go of Yun Yang’s robe and took a few steps back before she collapsed onto the floor despondently, her beautiful eyes losing their luster.

“You can’t tell me who you are.” Yun Zuiyue said through gritted teeth, one hand gripping the table tightly, trying her hardest to stop her body from trembling. “In that case, are you able to tell me... the person who sent you… the person who shared this poem with… Where is he?”

“If I knew that, it’s all the more reason that I can’t share that with you.” Yun Yang closed his eyes as he spoke, his heart aching with a sharp pain, like a knife had sliced right through it. If I tell you, your life is forfeit.

“You should at least know what his name is then!” Yun Zuiyue looked at him fiercely, eyes staring daggers at the recalcitrant man.

“I’m sorry, I do not know.”

“Is he at Tiantang City?”

“… I don’t know.”

Yun Zuiyue finally exploded. “Then you should at least tell me, is he dead or alive?”

Yun Yang forced his roiling emotions down. After a brief interval, he finally answered with great difficulty, “He wishes me to tell you to forget him.”

“Forget him?” Yun Zuiyue gave an anguished laugh. “He’s a jerk! Worthless! Heartless! Irresponsible! He is practically the scum of society!”

Yun Yang closed his eyes and took in a long breath to steady himself while Yun Zuiyue continued to curse spitefully.

Slam!

Yun Yang’s palm landed hard on the table as he barked harshly, “Enough!”

His intimidating aura immediately filled the room as the loud crack cut through the woman’s rantings.

Yun Zuiyue’s voice dropped away. She began to laugh hysterically. “You men are all alike! You only dare to bully your own women; when it comes to anything else, you’re practically gutless cowards!”

Yun Yang’s chest rose and fell rapidly as he sought to maintain his own sense of calm, various reasons and explanations flowing through his mind. Finally he said, “You already know where he is.”

Yun Zuiyue stared at Yun Yang with horrified eyes as she vehemently denied the accusation. “No… I don’t believe it…”

As Yun Yang started to speak, Yun Zuiyue began to shout hysterically, “I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it, I don’t believe it!”

Her red-fnotrimmed eyes pierced Yun Yang’s soul, “I won’t believe anything you say.”

She seemed to be trying to convince herself, but it had also looked like she was praying to the heaven and earth. Although she spoke in a murmur, each word was clearly enunciated, “He cannot be dead!”

Yun Yang kept silent and still. He did not have the heart to say anything to the woman who was already distraught and saddened by his appearance.

Suddenly, Yun Zuiyue lifted her head and asked pleadingly, “He’s not dead, is he? Tell me it isn’t true!”

Yun Yang looked at her heartbroken gaze, his heart clenched with pain. He turned his head away and said softly, “Yes, to me, he is not dead.”

He will stay alive in my heart forever.

Yun Zuiyue’s slender figure stilled; she was as motionless as a statue when she heard his words. After a long moment, she began to sob and wail. It was as if all the worries and sadness she carried in her heart were finally unburdened upon listening to Yun Yang’s declaration. Oh, how she cried, her tears flowing with utter anguish!.

Yun Yang sat unmovingly; he knew of no words that could comfort her. He could only feel the wrenching agony in his chest.

“He… how is he now?” Yun Zuiyue’s sobs began to subside. “Is he… well?”

“It’s hard to tell.” Since the first lie had passed his lips, he had no choice but to continue piling it on. “His injuries are far too...severe. Those were critical wounds, and right now, it would be impossible for him to return.”

“I understand!” Yun Zuiyue nodded feverishly. “I will wait for him! I’ll wait, no matter how long it takes! Please, please send this message back to him.”

“It’s impossible!” Yun Yang shook his head, feeling wretched. “I won’t be able to convey your words to him...”

“Oh no, I understand, I absolutely understand.” Yun Zuiyue said hurriedly, “Since you have ventured out, it would be impossible for you to return; there are frightening enemies all around. Yes, it would be safer not to attempt it.”

Yun Yang watched the selfless woman and could only feel his heart grow colder with despair and guilt.

“There was something you mentioned earlier… a fugitive?” Taking a few moments to compose herself, Yun Zuiyue had finally wiped away her tears. Though her eyes were red and swollen, she had recovered some of her usual flair. “What fugitive do you speak of?”

“This fugitive… could possibly be...” Yun Yang left his sentence hanging, allowing his meaningful gaze to complete it..

Yun Zuiyue’s face instantly took on a dangerous expression. “...could possibly be related to him?”

Yun Yang nodded silently.

“I’ll help you!” Yun Zuiyue’s hissed menacingly, like a cold ferocious beast thirsting for blood in the night.

Yun Yang exhaled deeply, amazed by the fiery vengeance he saw in this woman.

“Can we speak further? On another day, at another time?” Yun Zuiyue looked at Yun Yang with anticipation, eager to gather as much information as she could on this topic.

“No!” Yun Yang was resolutely adamant. “It’s simply too dangerous.”

“I understand…” Yun Zuiyue lowered her head sorrowfully but she spoke with sympathy, “I’ve known all this ever since he was selected because I was with him when he went to the trials. I have kept this secret embedded in my heart, all these long years. Young master, you need not worry.”

Another pang shot through Yun Yang’s soul.

Fifth brother.

You’ve left this world, and no longer have any worries, but what should I do with this woman who is so devoted to you? I have the means to heal the world but how do I make up for this woman’s wounds of the heart?