Chapter 313 Salvation 2 (2/2)
But it's not your fault! The man was a bad guy for teaming up with the Black Masks! Also, he killed himself! You didn't kill him! Those words were on the tip of Kanari's tongue, but she couldn't bring herself to say those words. She knew that any consolation that she could give would merely be paper over the cracks. What she needed to do was to help Shin live with the deaths of the two mercenaries.
”Are you here to laugh at my pathetic state?”
”Of course not!” The ethereal beauty got the shock of her life. She was here to comfort him, not make fun of him! She would be in serious trouble if the boy misunderstood her kind intentions.
”Shin…” Kanari moved from her chair and joined Shin on his bed. ”Was this your first time killing someone?”
The despondent youth flinched at Kanari's sudden question. ”Yeah… What about you, Kanari? Have you taken another's life before?”
”I… have…”
”???” Shin abruptly turned his head to look at the black-haired girl.
As the heiress of the Highgarden Duchy, Shin assumed that Kanari would be similar to Elrin and lived her days as a sheltered scion. Of course, his assumption was nowhere near reality.
”It happened when I first entered the Spirit Apostle realm… When my talent had become widely known, and no one questioned my right to take over the Duchy, my mother started to train me and taught me everything I needed to know about how about the roles and responsibilities as a Duchess.”
”...”
”In the beginning, it was simple actions such as how to manage the harvests and how to socialise in High Society.” Kanari's eyes turned gloomy as she recalled her early days. ”However, after a while, I learnt the true pains of being a noble…”
”What happened?”
”As a noble, you are responsible for everything that happens on your turf. If there's a natural disaster, you have to be there to aid those suffering. If there's a deficit in the harvest, you must find a solution to brave through the winter. Also…” Kanari's eyes quivered as she feared to reveal her next words. After all these years, she thought that she had gotten over it, but some scars just never heal.
”If someone does a crime, you have to be the one to mete out the punishment…”
”You mean!” Shin exclaimed as he realised what Kanari had gone through.
”Yeah… When I was thirteen, my mother made me execute someone who was on death row.”
”How…”
”Could she?” Kanari finished the boy's sentence. ”My father said the same thing. But if I were to inherit the Duchy, it was an inevitable deed.” Kanari didn't blame her mother at all. In fact, she was thankful for experiencing such a deed when she was that young. At the very least, if she honestly got into danger, Kanari would have the mental fortitude to really kill someone.
”As the lord of the land, there's no way that I can keep my hands clean. Yes, I can hire executioners to do the deed, but that's just passing the responsibility to someone else. Eventually, all the blood that sheds on my territory belongs to me.”
”Kanari…” For the first time, Shin saw a side to Kanari that he had never seen before. The amiable young girl had a vicious side to her. ”You really are a noble.”
”Thanks for that.” Kanari smilingly replied. ”Shin, there are times where you would have to kill your enemies. Your emotions don't matter. If I didn't kill the inmate on death row, he would have found a chance to escape and do more heinous deeds. The same logic applies the two mercenaries that committed suicide before you. They had helped the Black Masks to murder all those innocent lives in the Land of Dreams. If you didn't stop them, they would have continued to do evil.”
”...” Shin bit his lip. He understood what Kanari was getting at, he really did. However, it didn't change the pain in his heart.
”How? How did you manage to forget this pain?!” Finally breaking down, Shin wailed out in agony. He had heard numerous stories of soldiers breaking down after claiming their first life, and currently, he was on the verge of doing the exact same thing.
Kanari placed her left arm over Shin's neck while her right hand pulled the boy's waist closer to her.
”You don't… You will never forget your first kill. You just have to learn to live with the pain and swear to remain convicted to your cause. That's the only thing you can do.” Kanari's eyes started to mist as she saw how feeble her friend had become. ”For now… You can just cry it out.”
”Arghh!!! ARGHHHHH!!!” Bawling his eyes out, Shin sunk deeper and deeper into Kanari's embrace, drenching her linen robes.
Right now, he wasn't the young genius that shook the nation, and neither was he the brave soul that wished to combat the Black Masks.
Right now, he was just a boy seeking salvation...
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