372 An Elusive Moon 3 (1/2)
Translated by: ShawnSuh
Edited by: SootyOwl
As usual, Juho was looking down at a blank sheet of manuscript paper while thinking of what to write next. His stories had become shorter lately, and Juho hadn't been satisfied with any of them. Contrary to him, Hyun Do had been writing steadily and unhindered. After glancing at him from behind, Juho looked down at his own manuscript. There was a noticeable difference between Hyun Do's current appearance and the author's younger version in Juho's dream. With his sharp nose, Hyun Do had been strikingly handsome when he had been younger. While Juho was spinning his pen, Hyun Do asked, ”Did you have a question?”
Looking under his manuscript for no apparent reason, Juho asked, ”Not really. Why do you ask, Mr. Lim?”
”All right, then.”
Then, right as Hyun Do was about to go back to writing, Juho brought up what he had been meaning to talk about with Hyun Do, ”So, I had an unsettling dream last night.”
At that, Hyun Do stopped what he was doing, turned toward the young author and gave Juho his full attention. At which point, Juho wondered if he was taking Hyun Do's time. However, Hyun Do seemed rather interested in what Juho had to say, so backing out was no longer an option. In the end, Juho ended up giving Hyun Do a brief summary of his dream.
”So, Wol was in your dream, huh?” Hyun Do asked, sounding delighted for some reason.
”I read one of his books in the study before going bed. It must've stayed with me.”
”Which book?”
”This and that. I read one of Mrs. Baek's books too. I also came across some first editions that I hadn't seen before.”
Hyun Do seemed to remember where he kept his books for the most part. Crossing his arms, Hyun Do asked, ”What else did you read?”
”The white book,” Juho replied honestly. Although he had described it as a book, it was closer to being a manuscript. Then, without hesitation, Juho proceeded to ask, ”Mr. Kang wrote that one, didn't he?”
”So, you recognize it, huh?”
”His style is rather unique.”
”Did you read all of it?” Hyun Do asked calmly.
”No.”
”Why not?”
”I felt like I needed to get your permission.”
At that, Hyun Do chuckled quietly and said, ”Do you not remember what I said when you first came here?”
”I do.”
”You already have my permission.”
Then, clenching his hands into fists, Juho asked, ”When I found the book and realized that it had been written by Mr. Kang, I just couldn't read on. Besides, I wanted to read it under a better state of mind.”
Then, the young author brought up the question that had been burning in his mind, and Hyun Do waited for Juho to finish calmly and patiently.
”How come Mr. Kang couldn't finish writing that book?” Juho asked.
”Because he ran out of time,” Hyun Do said briefly. Just as the young author had expected, the white book was Wol Kang's last work, which was yet to have been released to the public. Juho wouldn't dare treat it lightly.
”How is it that you have it, Mr. Lim?”
”It was given to me. I was asked to finish it on Wol's behalf.”
”By whom?”
”Yun Seo.”
”Did she not want to write it herself?”
”It makes her sad,” Hyun Do said, rubbing his temple.
”Did you not finish it for the same reason?”
Hyun Do remained silent that time. While Juho was able to understand, the young author couldn't empathize with Hyun Do. Lowering his hand, Hyun Do asked, ”If you were in my shoes, would you have done it?”
”Yes, I would have.”
”'I'm me, and a novel is a novel.' He used to say that all the time. He would've led a happy life even if he hadn't been a writer, but I can't say the same for myself.”
”What do you mean?” Juho asked. Seeing the manuscript in front of Hyun Do, and his blank sheet of manuscript paper after that, Juho felt small.
”It means that without my writing, I was nobody. Without work, there's no way to get recognized. At which point, one would be reduced to a pathetic human being. The thought of losing my work makes me feel dreadful because I don't have any other place where I belong. I wouldn't have a way to prove myself.”
”That's not true,” Juho said. He knew for certain that Hyun Do was different from him, which was why he looked up to Hyun Do so much.
”That's what I used to tell myself.”
The fact that Hyun Do hadn't finished Wol's book was proof of that. Knowing that, Juho clenched his lips. After the death of his friend, Hyun Do had started to prioritize his own emotions and make them the source of all his actions. In doing so, Hyun Do was able to abandon the moniker of fellow author and remain Wol's friend.
”But, you would have written it.”
”Yes, I would have,” Juho said, repeating the same answer.
As Hyun Do looked at the empty sheet of manuscript paper in front of Juho, the young author did the same.
”Do you wanna give it a try?” Hyun Do asked. At that, Juho lowered his head slowly and shook it, saying, ”I don't think I have what it takes.”
”Something tells me you do.”
”You flatter me, Mr. Lim.”
”If Wol had actually finished it, what do you think the book would've looked like?”
Juho couldn't answer that question. He had never met or spoken to Wol, let alone read his book until the end.
”I couldn't possibly know that, Mr. Lim. Especially when you don't know the answer yourself.”
Hyun Do remained silent for a little while. Then, when he opened his mouth to speak, the subject took a sudden, different turn.
”I did try,” Hyun Do said, looking out in the distance. ”I tried to finish writing the book, but I couldn't. I was even more inexperienced back then. I didn't know how to fight the wave of emotions that came over me.”