Chapter 362 (2/2)
One day when I ran out of my palace, sick and tired of repeated lessons, I saw her while I was hiding in the bush to avoid the maids searching for me. The girl, who seemed to be my sister Jisu’s age, was very small and slender, holding a light cream-colored parasol in one hand, with her long silver hair shining brightly in the sun. Even though she was wearing a dress long enough to touch the ground, she quietly walked with dignity.
I immediately realized that her walking style was what my teacher described as elegant walking and that she was a noblewoman.
I was very curious about what kind of person she was, so I asked the maids about her identity, but they all didn’t reply as if they were embarrassed. The only clue I could get was when a young maid muttered ‘concubine,’ and Rublis, frowning at me, said I didn’t have to care about her.
So, I guessed the girl was probably a princess. Based on what the maid said, and given her age, the girl must be a princess. Besides, those who could live in the palace were the members of the imperial family anyway.
I observed her for a few days to get intimate with her and found out that at a certain time she took a walk in the small garden in the corner of the inner palace. I approached her, pretending to bump into her there. I really liked her, when she gracefully greeted me, with her mysterious golden eyes slightly lowered. I could feel her voice, not loud or small, had some charisma that I could not find in Rublis. I admired her, feeling deep inside that a royal member like her was different, and I even wanted to be like her and made her an object of admiration.
But she always kept a distance from me. So, I was determined to befriend her, though I was a bit frustrated. I decided that I would learn how to act gracefully and become the majestic empress.
So, when I realized that she was the emperor’s second wife, namely concubine, I was shocked a lot. Never did I think Rublis would have another woman, and that woman was the same girl that I admired. I was confused by that shocking fact that I discovered when I was opening my heart to him little by little, and I felt very sorry for her because she had her fiance taken away by me, even though she was designated as his official fiance since she was born.
When I thought how miserably she might have felt, watching me tell her about Rublis, I couldn’t stand idle any more, so I went to see her to apologize. I would have felt much more comfortable if she had blamed and shouted at me, but she was calm to my surprise. She said calmly that she didn’t deserve the post of the empress from the beginning.
I couldn’t understand why she said that. If I were in her shoes, I would certainly hate my fiance who betrayed me and the woman who took my lover from me, but she didn’t show any such reaction. Angered by her casual attitude, I blurted out whatever came to my mind. After blurring out like that for a while, I suddenly felt I said something so harshly, so I tried to apologize hesitantly. But when I raised my head, I could not say a word at her strange coldness.
I stiffened in spite of myself when she scolded me coldly with her calm golden eyes full of hostility.
I felt a prick in the heart when she asked me why I wanted to be the empress without any particular reason, telling me that I should be responsible for my decision. In fact, I became the empress to be guaranteed comfortable accommodations because I was thrown into a strange world against my will, and I had never thought about being the empress or what kind of role the empress was supposed to play. I found myself dwarfed by her majestic stance when she expressed intense anger at me because she had been striving for that position all her life.
So, I told Rublis that he should take good care of her instead of me. Although I felt heartbroken when I asked him to do so, I thought it was the right thing to do. So, I turned a deaf ear to his repeated dissuasion.
But when he left to see her, I became anxious. When I imagined them talking face to face, my heart sank.