Chapter 323 (2/2)

I was shocked by the unexpected fact, but I felt a deep sense of guilt first.

What did I say now? Did I dare that a commoner’s blood was flowing in the marquise who I regarded as my mother?

My heart was heavy. I despised her so much because she denied her mother. Now, I was doing the same thing as her.

I was confused. I would insult the marquise if I got mad at you, saying you, too, had a commoner’s blood. At the same time I felt upset because you seemed to have taken everything from me, if I pretended not to know it and forget it for good.

With a growing sense of guilt, I got more and more angry. My anger grew strong, then turned into a greater sense of guilt before finally changing to hatred.

It’s all because of you. Without you, I had no reason to tremble in guilt, and I didn’t have to feel sad because I was not loved. I didn’t need to feel shame, reflecting on my weakness. So it’s all because of you. Because of you!

“There is the emperor there!”

“There will be big rewards for those who catch the emperor! You must catch him alive! ”

Suddenly, I heard someone’s shouting, which awakened my faint consciousness. In no time, I heard the sound of the horseshoes.

I felt the earl holding me, flinching at that noise. The moment I heard the sound of metal rattling, this time I saw something silvery shining in my blurred vision.

“We will stop them here. So, please leave now! ”

“That’s right. Shouldn’t we carry out his last order?”

“…Good. Let me leave the rest up to you. See you guys again in the next world.”

Someone hurriedly carried me on his back. A hot liquid spilled from my chest that was hit hard against the iron armor. Blood from my throat flowed out of my lips.

Breathing in the dense smell of blood that tickled my nose, I felt my body shaking when he moved. My eyes closed at the feeling of my body waving up and down like me riding a horse.

I heard a woman’s whining in my ears. Suddenly, a green forest appeared in my darkened vision. My favorite horse Knicks was walking slowly, waving its snow white mane. The white horse seemed relaxed at first glance, but in fact, it was on edge because of the woman who kept shaking her body on it.

Was she good at anything at all?

I slightly frowned, feeling irked by her all of a sudden. Horse riding was part of the basic course that any noble should learn, but why did she complain that she could not learn it?

I let out a sigh, looking at the woman whose face turned white as if she was going to pass out at any moment. Why did I think I loved this woman, who was clumsy in everything?

<Where am I now? Who are you?>

The way she treated me without reserve was unfamiliar to me. When everybody, accustomed to honoring me, felt uncomfortable with me, given my status, she didn’t care and readily approached me without any fear. Sandwiched between the emperor, already called the sacred emperor, and her daughter who was called an excellent spouse of the next emperor, I was always pressured to do better. In that respect, I felt pretty comfortable with this woman named Jiun. I didn’t need to be compared to anyone in front of her. I could exist alone as myself when I was with her.

<I want to go home. Please let me go.>

She missed her parents very much, which I felt very strange. While I was listening to her talking about her parents, I used to find myself comparing them with the emperor, the marquise and myself.

I felt happiness for a brief moment when I got carried away with the illusion that I was loved, then despaired, getting more angry about the cold reality facing me. The more I met Jiun, the more I was sick and tired of them who treated me only as their political successor or as their political partner.

<Why don’t you take that woman as your spouse?>