Chapter 313 (1/2)

When I saw she regained consciousness finally, my heart sank because I could not see the warmth in her golden eyes anymore. To make matters worse, she didn’t say anything as if she forgot how to speak. No matter how hard I tried to help her pull herself together, she didn’t listen to me at all as if she couldn’t hear at all.

I headed for the training field with a heavy heart, hoping that I could shake off my complicated thoughts by practicing hard. But I could not wield my sword as well as I wished, perhaps because I hadn’t been practicing properly while I got carried away with spending time with her.

The more I tried to concentrate, the more her haggard figure weighed on my mind.

How long did I practice fencing?

When I came to my senses all of a sudden, I ran into the crown prince who was looking at me coldly and sharply. When I hurriedly greeted him politely, he asked for a fencing sparring with me, saying he wanted to compete with me, called a genius swordsman, one day. Although I didn’t feel like it, I didn’t have the right to refuse his request, so I grabbed the sword silently.

When I was exploring how to beat him, I saw something fluttering in the air. When I instantly looked up, I noticed her standing by the window and staring blankly into the sky.

While I was distracted by her shimmering silver hair, his sword barely touched my shoulder. Despite his warning that I should focus, I found myself distracted often. After all, he and I found ourselves pointing the swords at each other’s neck.

After he was done sparring with me, he gave me advice that if I had anything to keep, I should do my best without being distracted for a moment.

I got upset. I felt I was really stupid when I thought that I didn’t do my best in fencing of for her because of my preoccupation with my immediate self-composure.

My growing sense of shame reached its peak with the appearance of her father. She woke up from her complacency when she was given a sound rebuke by her father. When I saw her stuttering, shuddering with embarrassment, I suddenly felt ashamed of myself.

Stupid! What did I do until now?

I was really ashamed of myself after realizing that I was unaware of her nervousness even though I was with her all the time, and I, blinded by my own happiness, knew nothing about her while confessing to her that I liked her.

When I visited her the next day, her father, who was standing with dust all over him, stopped me. When I looked at her through the crack in the door, she was busy writing as if she was bewitched by something. Since I felt I could not disturb her at the moment, I waited silently with her father there.

Her door opened after half the day passed. She came out with faltering steps, then threw herself in her father’s arms

I felt heartbroken at her pale face. The crown prince’s admonition that I should do my best to keep what I value came back to haunt me.

Although I wanted to protect her and even promised that I would double my efforts to protect her on behalf of Allendis, I didn’t keep it. Even though I had seen her practicing like crazy, I didn’t know why she was so obsessed with mastering fencing. If I had known her situation in advance, I would never have left so she and the crown prince could be together.

The fact that I wasn’t reliable enough for her to ask for my help broke my heart.

While going back to the capital, I looked out the window with a heavy heart. She could survive because of the Monique family’s oath to the imperial family, but I made up my mind to do my best to protect her according to the crown prince’s advice. I didn’t want to see her terrified and nervous when she was with the crown prince.

When I walked through the golden field with her while they were pulling out the wheel stuck in the mud, I was relieved to see her babbling on. I was thrilled when I saw her face suddenly glowing. With my heart throbbing, I prayed that she would always be in a bright mood like that.

When I called her waking ahead, I was speechless at the moment she turned. Her silver hair scattering in the golden fields shined mysteriously and brightly like a sword reflecting the moonlight.

When I looked at her face and her golden eyes full of curiosity, I suddenly felt up to confessing to her that I liked her.

But when I plucked up the courage to open my mouth, I heard someone calling me and her at the same time. At that moment, I came to my senses all of a sudden. Why am I trying to confess to her when I don’t even protect her? You idiot! I felt I was not qualified to confess to her.

When we arrived at the capital, I looked at the wagon after I got out. Only after the silver-haired girl faded away completely did I turn, clenching my teeth. I vowed that until we meet again, I would develop my skills as much as possible so as not to avoid feeling ashamed before her.

‘I’ll protect you. I will build up my strength in case you cannot escape on your own. I’ll keep and protect you, so you won’t feel so nervous and anxious again. I will protect you so that you can live confidently just like you showed it to me in the golden fields. So, hang in there a little longer. I will appear as a man who can stand confidently next to you.