Chapter 294 (2/2)

I caught my breath slowly.

I think I have to stop here and tell him no more.

But even though I didn’t mention the most sensitive part of my story, he already seemed to have guessed what would come next. After remaining silent for some time with a complicated expression, he said with a deep sigh.

“… I see. I think I know pretty much about it. It was not a happy ending, I guess.”

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty. I think I’ve hurt you with useless things…”

“Don’t say that. Maybe that was true. It could have happened like that. As a child, I was full of jealousy and envy towards you all the time.”

He raised his head and looked up at the sky. As he fixed his deep blue eyes on the silvery halo in the sky, I turned my head and looked at the night sky that was gradually brightening.

“When I stopped by your house briefly while I was on the border inspection, I thought a lot, looking at you as you spaced out to see me. Um, let me be honest. I heard you were learning swordsmanship, and I know what happened during your coming-of-age ceremony, but I didn’t believe you were truly on it until then. I just thought you were doing it to draw my attention. I believed you were trying to make a protective shield just in case you might be destined to be my concubine because of your right to succeed the throne.”

“…”

“But I knew I was mistaken when I saw you on that day. Then I suddenly became curious about why you were scared of me and why you went to the trouble of breaking off your engagement with me by all means. As I heard that you spaced out due to psychological shock, I told my staff to bring me everything that could give me some clue. And I came to see the letter from Duke Verita Jr.”

He let out a sigh and said, “I was embarrassed at first then angry. I could not understand how you could have such a dream, even if you hated me so much. So, I went to see you to give you a piece of my mind, but when I saw you sitting blankly, I suddenly thought that you looked so weak that you could crumble at any moment even at my merest touch. Only then did I recall one fact that I had forgotten for long. In other words, you were only thirteen then, and although you always acted as if you had no emotion, you were so tender that you even lost your memories because of the shock at the loss of your mother.”

“…”

“I suddenly felt sorry for you. Why? Because I hated you all along for what happened in your childhood, which you could not even remember. I felt even more sorry when I thought you had such a nightmare. I kept thinking you ended up being in this condition because of my childish behavior. I was even afraid you might live like that for the rest of your life.”

I see. Come to think of it, he said things like this to me when I was between sleep and wake because of poisoning. He said he couldn’t approach me for fear I would space out again, so he could not do anything for me.

“In fact, I felt close to Duke Jena until then. I found it difficult to deal with the two dukes and your father at that time, but Duke Jena always treated me kindly. I would not have distrusted him over the matter of the crown prince’s concubine if I had not looked at you differently. I was terrified when I thought what would have happened if I had continued to hate you and trusted the duke…”

His voice with a sigh echoed into the air. After remaining silent in a pensive mood for some time, he said suddenly, “Aristia.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“I think I was the worst in your dream… How do I look now?”

“You are a great emperor.”

When I replied in a low voice, he said with a deep sigh after quickly looking at me, “Is that all? I see. I was just a good emperor to you.”

“…Your Majesty.”

“Aha, that’s why you cared so much about Carsein, not paying so much attention to me when I came running to save you on the day you were ambushed recently, right?”

“Oh, no, that’s not true …”

He said in an exaggerated tone, stopping me when I was trying to make excuses hurriedly, “Well, I think I forgot I have a bigger rival than him. Answer me, Aristia. Who is the man that has won over your heart? Me or the old me in your dream?”

“… The man in my dream looked like you, but he was a totally different man from you. So, don’t worry.”

“Whew! Now I feel like the imaginary me, in addition to Carsein and Allendis, is my rival lover. Don’t you think you are too popular? I feel like I’m going to be consumed with anxiety about you.”

“…”