Chapter 200 (2/2)
“Oh my…”
With a sigh he reached out. I stiffened instantly, but his arm was facing toward the box on the desk, not me. The crest of the golden lion embroidered on a white cloth and his initials were clearly visible.
What should I do? I wish I had put it away somewhere else.
When I was at a loss what to do, he asked, looking back at me while quietly touching the handkerchief with his thumb, “What is this handkerchief for?”
“… ”
“Please answer me. If you don’t think of me as a lover, why are you keeping this?”
I bit my lip tightly. I didn’t want to say this, but there seemed to be no other way than this.
“My Majesty, I wouldn’t say I never loved you in the past, though briefly.”
It was my sad confession that I really wanted to make to him, but now it’s just a thing of the past.
“But I don’t love you now.”
“Oh…”
The blood vein stood out on the back of his hand holding his handkerchief. My eyes were blurred with tears when I looked at him devastated. I felt heartbroken because of my painful memories and the current situation where I kept breaking his heart.
How much time passed? The eternity-like moment ended, and he put down the handkerchief. He turned silently, then whispered, holding the doorknob, “…I see. Let me do as you want.”
“… ”
Only when the white hem of his robe disappeared and the sound of his footsteps disappeared did I break into tears that I was holding back.
Tears fell on the crumpled white handkerchief. I felt like my heart was bursting out.
It looked like I could cry loudly if I stayed more, so I stood up, wiping my tears. I spread the crumpled handkerchief evenly and put it back inside the drawer when Lina came in and said, “My lady, the clothes you asked Mrs. Rosa for in the morning have just been delivered.”
“… Really? Okay. ”
I tried to act as casually as possible, but Lina seemed to have already noticed my condition.
I headed to the dressing room, ignoring Lina who moved her lips with a hesitant look.
After checking the condition of my dresses, I turned around, but suddenly I noticed one tightly hung inside.
Okay, let me get rid of this one, too, as I have made up my mind.
“I would like to sort out my dresses, so bring all of them to me.”
“All?”
“Yes, all of them.”
Looking at me curiously, she took out my clothes one by one.
I stiffened, looking at the watery dress that she held up. It was the dress he gave me the next day after I spent a night in the Imperial Palace. At that time I was so absent-minded that I didn’t give it a deep thought. Looking back, I felt something strange because it was tailored to me in terms of size and design.
‘Did he order this dress for me?’
I shook my head vigorously as something came to my mind at that moment. What’s the use of this dress now? Anyway my relationship with him is all over.
“Throw it away.”
“Pardon? But this one was… ”
“I told you to throw it away.”
“… Yes, my lady. ”
A variety of dresses in light pink, dark blue, sky blue, white began to pile up on one side of the dressing room. Few of the clothes Lina showed were put back to the dressing room. Only casual clothes, equestrian clothes, uniforms, and training clothes were put back in place.
“How about this one?”
“Whew!”
Suddenly, I felt jammed up on the inside.. What Lena showed was a white muslin dress, with multiple layers of red folds and rose decorations hanging here and there. It was the first gift that Carsein gave me.
I stopped. I didn’t hesitate to throw away almost all the clothes until now, but this time I couldn’t easily reply. But I shook my head vigorously and said firmly, shaking off my lingering affection, “Throw it away, too.”
“But this… ”
“I told you to throw it away.”
“… Okay. How about this one? ”
This time, it was a creamy dress. The dress had pale pink stones and small diamonds tightly sewn on the skirt. It was a gift given by the late emperor on the National Founding Day festival two years ago.