Chapter 192 (1/2)

Chapter 192: Chapter 192

My heart ached because I could feel how much he had been shocked and hurt as a child.

“Well, I could understand your mother was warm and kind to you because she was your mother, but even the empress was unusually kind to you. Even though the late emperor had never smiled at me, he took time out to spend time together with you and your mother when she entered the palace. When nobody around me loved me, you were loved by everyone.”

“… ”

“As time went on, I felt more and more alienated. Whenever the two dukes who pressed me hard to do better praised you, when the late emperor was happy about your performance even though he never praised me, I really tried harder, clenching my teeth… but the results were always the same. ”

He smiled bitterly, staring into the air, then said, “That’s why I hated you…”

“… ”

“I was also envious of you.”

I felt heartbroken to hear that.

It’s what happened when I was a child, and I don’t remember. Was it the reason why he hated me so much in the past?

Of course, it doesn’t mean that I will forgive or forgive what he did to me before my return, but I felt I could understand him a little better. The old him must have tried harder than me. Back then I knocked myself over to be the perfect empress. If what he said was true, the old him might have continued to compare himself with me.

I felt as if my heavy heart was a bit lighter. When I breathed out as if to throw out something stuck in my chest, he also took a deep breath and continued in a much more comfortable voice than before, “So, I decided that someday I would certainly be acknowledged and loved by the emperor. Then the emperor, who was my only blood, died like this. ”

“Sorry… ”

“I would be mad at you if you again said sorry. Don’t you remember that the High Priest said the time Vita gave to the emperor was used up?”

“… ”

“Thanks for telling me. If you hadn’t told me, I would have misunderstood the late emperor a lot.”

“You’re welcome, Your Majesty. I feel it’s fortunate that I can tell you about how he genuinely felt and thought about you.”

With his back against the tree, he looked up silently at the sky. As I didn’t want to disturb his thoughts, I just gazed at the sky, too.

The twinkling starlight in the black sky was so beautiful. It is said that when a person dies, he becomes a star. If so, are they shining so brightly because they miss someone left on earth so much?

The moment I exclaimed in amazement at a shooting star, I felt something touching heavily on my shoulder.

Surprised, I looked around.

I found him leaning on my shoulder in no time, with his eyes closed.

When I saw him asleep with a relaxed expression, I had mixed feelings.

How did all this happen? Our relationship was star-crossed from the beginning, and even now.

I longed for his love so much in the past, but I was hated by him. Even though I have won over his heart now, I can’t live with him. This is the essence of my contradictory relationship with him.

I sighed deeply. I pounded my stuffy chest when suddenly something fell on my arm.

What is this? Is it raining in this nice weather?

I looked up, but the sky was clear without any clouds. In all possibility, it won’t rain.

When I looked down, tilting my head, a drop of water fell again. I felt I had to wake him up, so I turned around. Oh no! I saw tears flowing under his thick eyelashes.

“Your Majesty…”

I hurriedly closed my mouth. Teardrops were falling from his eyes, but he smiled as if he were happy instead of being sad or in agony. I was so heartbroken to see it that I also began to cry.

I quickly blinked my blurry eyes. Hesitating for some time, I carefully placed my hand on his shoulder. He would be uncomfortable in this posture.

‘Let me help him have a happy dream.’

I carefully put his head on my lap while trying to not wake him up. Then, I tied up his disheveled hair and wiped his tears. I felt my frozen heart melt away at the warmth of his tears.

I looked at his smiling face for some time before slowly leaning against the tree. I kept blinking my eyes slowly because I felt sleepy. The silver buds that seemed to open slightly seemed to come into my view.

‘Are they blooming now?’

While tilting my head, I closed my eyes unconsciously and fell asleep.

I opened my eyes. When I was tossing and turning my body, rubbing my sleepy eyes, I found myself in a place not familiar to me.

Where am I?

Someone approached me while I was wondering what happened, and bowed deeply.