Chapter 126 (1/2)

Chapter 126: Chapter 126

“Well, I understand my mother was born to one of our family’s vassals, Baron Sonia. How come you met her in the capital instead of your estate first? And in that filthy alley?”

At that moment, I could see his silvery eyebrows wiggling. I thought, looking at my father’s hardened face, ‘Yes, he must be hiding something about her. Then, what Duke Jena told me was not nonsense.’

My father, who was silent for a moment, asked me with a stiff voice, “Who told you that?”

“Well, I accidently found it out while reading a book on the family tree of the vassals of our family in the library.”

I didn’t want to lie to my father, but if I told the truth, I thought that Sir League and other knights were going to have a lot of trouble. So instead of telling the truth, I said carefully, looking down instead of gazing at his navy blue eyes, “In fact, I learned about my mother’s memorial day some time ago. As I couldn’t sleep, I came out… and happened to see you.”

“… Did you? ”

“Yeah. So I wondered what my mother was like, but, well, I didn’t have the nerve to ask you. If I may say, you looked so lonely when I saw you. ”

“So, is that why you asked me why I didn’t remarry?” he asked, looking at me with a complicated expression. Then he continued as I remained silent, “Well, even if I haven’t sworn it with blood, there is another person to whom I have already vowed to give my whole life. ”

“Pardon? What do you mean….”

“The person is you, Tia. When I knew your mother was dying, it was because of you that I never gave up. After hearing about it, you came running belatedly. You were in despair, and when I saw you passing out after crying, I suddenly came to my senses. I decided to live for you as long as you would survive, seeing you almost dying. So Tia, don’t worry about this in the future. I am perfectly satisfied with living with you like this.”

“Dad… ”

When I saw his soft expression and eyes filled with affection, I felt choked up. Was it because I knew my father’s inner thoughts that he rarely revealed? My eyes welled with tears.

My father, who cleared his throat after looking at me blinking my blurry eyes, said with an awkward expression, “Hmmm, by the way, Tia.”

“… Pardon?”

“Sooner or later when they talk about the emperor’s move to the summer palace, I think the knights will be very busy. How about your job as Duke Lars’s assistant? Can you manage it?”

“Ah, yes. At first glance, it seems that I’m snowed under with work, but I can have some free time, to my surprise. ”

“Good. Hmm, I’m worried that the emperor’s health is failing and the crown prince has been tasked with too much work all of a sudden. Besides, if the emperor decides to move to the summer palace, half the government officials and knights will have to take care of him. If you have to plan their work schedule, I think you’re going to be extremely busy for a long time.”

While listening to my father, I suddenly recalled the crown prince that I had forgotten.

I tried to avoid him as much as possible, but when I had to run into him, he was just looking at me as I stiffened before him.

After hearing him asking me if I could reconsider being the successor of my family, I felt so uncomfortable meeting him. In fact, I had some faint hope that I could love him once more, but I was not sure if I wanted the old him or the present him. Besides, the fact that he already noticed I began to look at him through another person made me more uncomfortable and stressed out. I felt really nervous and frustrated because I knew Jiun would soon appear. I didn’t want to have my barely revived life trampled on. So, I thought that giving up such hope from the beginning was the best way to protect my present life.

What did he think when he saw me avoiding him for nearly half a year? At his birthday banquet, where I had no choice but to attend as his fiancee, he sighed with a deep sigh after seeing me who couldn’t even meet his eyes. At the time he told me I didn’t have to reply to his request, saying as I still had a lot of time, I could give it more thought. He also asked me not to avoid him anymore.

At that time, I found wounded feelings in his blue eyes. Maybe I was mistaken. Maybe it was the scratch on my mind reflected in his eyes. Anyway, at that moment, I turned my eyes without looking straight into his eyes.

It would have been easier if I had drawn a line at his feelings just like I did with Allendis. I felt cursed as I couldn’t. I was so frustrated that I couldn’t do it, when I vowed so many times that I would get free from the fate of becoming the empress, throwing away the old me and making myself anew.

There was one more year until Jiun appeared.

The last six months have been so difficult and awkward to me. How can I endure it another year like this?