321 I Only Seek For My Heart To Be At Peace (1/2)

”First, we must find an area between the mountains and a stream. We'll set up camp there. We will wait for the main forces to arrive. Then, we will journey onwards with them,” Jun Mo Xie gave the order unenthusiastically. They were about to go to the Xue Hun Manor. And, Jun Mo Xie wasn't going to act a fool and look for the tyrannical enemy on his own.

[We may still face bad luck. But, at least all the influential families will face it together in that case.]

The Young Master Jun would try to get some small advantages in secret if the conditions were to permit. After all, he didn't harbor a favorable impression of the Xue Hun Manor due to the past events. He wouldn't even grieve if every member of the Xue Hun Manor were to die.

Moreover… the Xuan Beast uprising had gone out of control by this time. However, it had still been instigated by the Young Master Jun. Therefore, Tian Fa's Xuan Beasts were fighting for Jun Mo Xie by any interpretation. If not… they were at least his allies.

Wang Dong sent eight people in eight different directions to look for a suitable place to set up camp, and the men eventually found such a place. Jun Mo Xie, Guan Qing Han and Dugu Xiao Yi immediately picked their spots.

The place was a small hillside.

There was open land in front of the hillside. It was surrounded by dense woods. There was a turning corner nearby. There was single official road at this bend. They would be able to keep an eye on all developments in the vicinity if they were to place scouts at that spot.

A 'gurgling' sound could be heard from behind the hill; it was similar to the sound that was made when one made dumplings. One would see a medium-sized stream on taking a detour. It meandered as it came down. The stream was clear, and its bottom could also be seen. And unexpectedly, there was a clear pool downstream. It wasn't too far away; it was just after a bend downstream.

Dugu Xiao Yi and Guan Qing Han became somewhat excited when they saw this.

Women love cleanliness. These two had been travelling this route for such a long time. So, they were very exhausted. How could they ever have an appropriate opportunity to clean themselves? They could only wash themselves if they managed to stumble across a wild mountain stream at night. But, that was nothing like their family homes' large baths. However, they had finally seen a very satisfactory sight in the form of that clear pool. Dugu Xiao Yi's body started to itch at the sight of the pool.

Guan Qing Han also found the pool very promising. However, she controlled her itch for a thought. She understood her younger Brother-in-law's character very clearly. [Won't he try to peek if I went into the pool with Xiao Yi? I need to think of a method which would ensure that he won't be able to. Wouldn't I die of shame otherwise?]

Jun Mo Xie coughed in a dignified manner after he looked at the pool. He then turned his head to look somewhere else and pretended that he hadn't notice it.

…. ….

Jun Mo Xie had seen many teams of Xuan experts 'whistle' past him over the course of this journey. These people were rushing towards Tian Fa. However, he had noticed that these people were identical in terms of their attitude towards him. They would either look towards Jun Mo Xie's team in disdain, and or would just pass by after glancing at them.

It was clear that the Army didn't have any importance in the minds of these Xuan experts. So, they obviously cared even lesser for Jun Mo Xie.

However, they had witnessed a decreasing number of coincidental encounters with those Xuan experts in the past few days. The road had become increasingly deserted.

Three roads forked-out at a junction outside the sparse woods. These roads seemed very long. Each road looked empty and deserted. The sky above this territory was far bluer than the one in the cities.

The 200+ guards began setting up camp. Jun Mo Xie along with Guan Qing Han and the some others proceeded to the mouth of the valley in order to avoid the fiery construction scene.

They had gone out to breathe-in the fresh air. Jun Mo Xie and the two extremely beautiful women were closely followed by four others. They were the Heaven Destroyer Team and the Spirit Devourer Team's deputy leaders.

Jun Mo Xie let out a long sigh. He felt a spacious and empty void around him. The sky had also become increasingly silent. The insects and cicadas were chirping around the woods. Jun Mo Xie seemed to be in a pensive state of mind. His mind seemed to be in chaos, yet seemingly in a tranquil state. His thoughts were complex yet simple. He eventually couldn't help but raise a perplexing thought.

Even a moment's perplex can be sufficient to become a fatal mistake for an assassin. Even a top-notch assassin like Jun Mo Xie isn't an exception to this fact. However, Jun Mo Xie was a complete loss at this time. Moreover, this state of mind had lasted a decent length of time.

[Nature makes man. My spirit and soul don't belong to the world they have been brought to. It has been nearly half-a-year since my spirit has come here. Each day has been a struggle; just the way it used to be in my previous life. I've been using my mind a lot more. But, my limbs haven't been exercised that much. I've played the fool a lot, but I haven't used my iron-blooded methods much.]

[Half-a-years' time has passed-by so quickly. I've been immersed in these boring matters. But, for what reason have I come to this world?]

[Is it to conquer this world? Is it to remain a nobleman throughout the ages? Or perhaps it's for living free and unfettered? … for what purpose have I been sent here?]

Jun Mo Xie put his hands behind his back, and started to walk forward; neither too fast, nor too slow. However, it was an astonishing sight in the eyes of the six people! Jun Mo Xie's previous licentious and greasy debauchee-like appearance had been swept aside. The individual's temperament and innate character had been transformed. He seemed like a hermit who had transcended the earthly characteristics. It was obvious that he was walking on firm and solid land. But, those who watched him felt as if he was walking to another time and space with each of his steps.

That other time, and that other space… was a profound mystery to those people.

The others felt a very unfathomable feeling at that time; [this person can't be considered of this world. In fact, he never ought to be of this world.] This particular feeling was obviously very absurd to their perceptions. However, it still existed.

He walked forward step by step. However, it seemed that everything in that world — the people besides him… the ground beneath his feet… the trees on his sides, and the dust in the air… weren't meant for him. It was evident that nothing in that world had anything to do with him.

Everything still existed in harmony. However, one thing seemed in discord with the world. And, it was that one living individual in front of their eyes…

He seemed like the only independent existence between the heaven and earth. He didn't intermingle with the living things; nor could he ever blend in. It seemed that this one individual — Jun Mo Xie — was all alone in his own little world.

This wasn't a feeling of loneliness that's felt by those at the top. Rather… it was one of detachment. Moreover… there was an extremely desolate air to it.

He had transcended beyond everything. He was independent from the living world. However, he could still intervene in it.

[I'm not of this world, but I exist in this world. This world is not mine, but I will die in this world.]

Guan Qing Han and Dugu Xiao Yi had forgotten about walking. They just foolishly stared at the image of that person in front of them. The both of them had the same thought; [are these his true colors…?]

Dugu Xiao Yi couldn't help an urge of walking to Jun Mo Xie, and talking to him. However, she got scared away by that strange feeling that came from him. Guan Qing Han had also pulled her back, and had stopped her from opening her mouth.

Guan Qing Han didn't know what was happening with Jun Mo Xie. She didn't know why things had suddenly become such. However, she had a keenly sensed that Jun Mo Xie shouldn't be disturbed at that moment. She was aware that even a little sound could interrupt his unusual stupor.

Then, there was a shout…

Jun Mo Xie let out a very long breath as he stopped in his footsteps. He then put his hands behind his back, and looked up at the heavens. He stared at a white cloud for a long time. Then, the Young Master smiled bitterly, and shook his head. And then, he remained standing in a calm and quiet manner — only to find that the thoughts in his mind had become ordered, clear and bright.

[There will be no desires if there's no thought. Nothing is permanent in this world.]

It seemed like an individual had awoken from a dream, and was back to reality now. Jun Mo Xie distinctly felt his spiritual strength increase by a huge margin. However, he still wasn't able to break through his bottleneck. It seemed that there was a faint and thin layer of mist in front of his eyes. This layer of mist separated him from the next level. It was unclear and hazy. However, his spiritual abilities would enhance by leaps and bounds if he were able to break through that.

And… Jun Mo Xie could vaguely feel the source of that obstruction.

It came from his heart.

”Mo Xie… you… what were you thinking just a moment ago…?” Guan Qing Han's voice seemed cold and clear; just as before. However, Jun Mo Xie could make out that her voice was filled with a lot of concern and care.

Guan Qing Han was very intelligent. She could sense that Jun Mo Xie had suddenly sunk into a spiritual realm. And, she had also felt that he was at a very important juncture of an unexpected break through. So, she watched as he seemingly remained immersed in that spiritual realm. She watched him for some time. However, she felt that he suddenly started to seem like someone who had been on the verge of gaining immortality, but had been struck down to the mundane world of mortals. She could distinctly feel the difference in him. So, she couldn't help herself, and asked.

”Just a moment ago… I was thinking…” Jun Mo Xie still seemed absentminded. It seemed like one of his feet had remained stuck in the fantastical spiritual realm. He said, ”What am I to do in this life? Or perhaps, why did I get this life? What is my goal? What can I do? What am I to achieve?”

”Goal?” Guan Qing Han asked hesitantly before she continued, ”It isn't necessary for every living person to have a goal, is it?” However, she asked herself in her thoughts; [what about me? Why am I alive? What's my goal here?]

Guan Qing Han suddenly felt overwhelmingly listless. [My younger brother-in-law must have a goal. However, I? Do I have the qualification to pursue my goals? Do I have this qualification?]

”Yes. Everyone should have goals. Everyone should have them. I used to have a notion. I wanted to use my strength to make the world a brighter place. I wanted to kill and slaughter to rectify the world's filth. I hoped that it would bring the world to the peace and prosperity I desired for it. I didn't wish to see things that seemed unjust to my eyes…” Jun Mo Xie smiled bitterly as he spoke.

”I've never paid attention to other people. I've only followed my own methods, and I've done what I feel like doing in any give circumstance. I've always gone my own way. I didn't change even when I knew that it's inadequate and I'm striving fruitlessly… However, I'm at a loss after I've come here. I'm at a complete loss…”

Guan Qing Han naturally didn't know what Jun Mo Xie meant by ”striving fruitlessly”. And, she understood what he meant by ”coming here” even less. However, she listened to Jun Mo Xie speak, and came to the conclusion that he felt extremely lonely.

This made her as calm as still-water. However, she felt a dull ache in the innermost part of her heart.

It was like watching warrior with a ”never say die” attitude in a state where he had expended the entirety of his energy and skill — only to face that harsh truth that his enemy was spread across the entire world… and that it would be eternally beyond his ability to defeat and destroy his enemy.

He had persevered with his conduct throughout his life. But, he had merely overrated himself and had attempted to do something impossible in reality. It was a sort of desolation, helplessness, un-reconciliation and frustration that couldn't be described in words.

Guan Qing Han thought for a while. She then said in soft and comforting tone, ”Man has but one life; grass has but one spring. Who can say what the purpose of one's life is? It's very difficult to say. Now that we are talking about it… we women are only to assist our husbands and take care of his children; day after day… years after years… no matter how we age. However, we don't feel any disappointment. I'm certain that most women in this world are like this. And, this kind of dull and rigid lifestyle makes countless women happy and satisfied. As for men… especially those who have power, strength and ability… they strive for their honor, fame and success. Each one of them strives to be brave and fierce. Even mediocre and ordinary people try very hard for their food and clothing. It's what they call 'Man eats man…”

She didn't realize that Jun Mo Xie had turned around and approached closer as she was speaking this. His eyes shone like the full moon as he looked at her. However, those eyes didn't have a frivolous or a stunned look in them. They seemed deep, tranquil and thoughtful. His expression was profoundly pensive.