200 A real man does not shun his grief (1/2)
Jun Wu Yi's entire body had been motionless since the moment he had laid eyes on his Elder Brother's statute, and it seemed as if one statue was staring into the eyes of another. Although, the eyes of the living statue was reflecting the emotion of his beating heart.
Jun Wu Yi stayed root to his spot looking up at the statue, and slowly his eyes started to blur with tears, and finally one of the tears fell down as he stated in a low and hoarse voice, almost as if he was trying to hold back his pain: ”….. Big Brother, I've brought Mo Xie to see you. He's finally progressed enough to be eligible of paying his respects to you!”
Jun Wu Yi silently and painfully closed his eyes, and it seemed that his mind was already reveling in the memories of the past.
He had grown up with his two elder brothers, he had played with them, and from his childhood days to that of his youth, his two elder brothers had always looked after him, but in return he provoked a boundless curse which took the life of his two elder brothers in the prime of their years!
Then, his sister-in-law died from the grief of this sorrow, and when her parents arrived to console her and realized that she had already died, they too broke off all contact with the Jun Family! These two families, who had once been close allies, never communicated again...
Then Jun Wu Yi's nephews died young, also because of his fault!
Heaven knows that Jun Wu Yi would've chosen to die a hundred deaths before allowing his Elder Brothers and his nephews to die fighting his battles! This past decade hadn't been enough to rid his heart of his pain! This pain was still smoldering at the bottom of his heart even now!
The scenes of his past had started flashing through his mind in the face of his Elder Brother's vivid and lifelike statue, and Jun Wu Yi's mind had already fallen into a bottomless abyss of pain, infinite regrets, and boundless hate!
Real men don't cry; not unless they've really been hurt!
”Big Brother…..”
Jun Wu Yi fell down to his knees on the ground ahead, and the strong and durable body of this valiant general started to trembled: ”I'm sorry…. I've let you down! I've let Second Brother down! I've let Father down, and I've let our Family down!”
Through his tear stained eyes, Jun Wu Yi gazed into the fortitude and wisdom of Elder Brother's face, and he felt as if his Elder Brother had come back from the dead to stroke his hair, and then looked at him with a smile on his face, almost as if he was teaching him a lesson: ”Third Brother….there's no need to suffer, there's no need to cry!”
At this moment, Jun Wu Yi started crying even more loudly as all those feelings which had been taking refuge in his heart for these past ten years started to pour out unrestrained, and then he started crawling closer to his Elder Brother's grave like an aggrieved child who was suddenly throwing himself into the arms of his loved ones…..
He could still distinctly remember the last words his brother had said to him the night before his departure all those years ago: ”About this Silver Blizzard City matter, I've always felt that our business with them isn't over yet, and I'm afraid that the Silver Blizzard City still has some secret tricks up their sleeve. Therefore, when your Second Brother and I are away from home, you will not act recklessly. You mustn't get over anxious about marrying Miss Han; love always finds a way. Once your Second Brother and I return, we will talk to father, and then we'll find a way to help you; the whole Family will stand in your support. ”
Jun Wu Yi could clearly remember the concern in his Eldest Brother's eyes and a similar look in the eyes of his Second Brother as well. The image of those profound and concerned eyes was piercing his heart with pain, almost as if someone had stabbing his heart with a knife and was twisting the knife inside his heart!
At that time, his two elder brothers had completely forgotten about their own pains and worries for the sake of their little brother! Those two men were only concerned about their little Brother's safety, and were worried that their little brother might end up hurting himself under the flame of impulse, and had seemingly forgotten all about the enemies they would have to deal with on the battlefield!
These two men were wise and loving enough to spare their little brother by not sharing their anxieties since they didn't wish to worry him any further!
Then, a loud and forceful drumming had started sounding, loud enough to make the entire world shake. Jun Wu Hui was standing in his military uniform, his white military uniform, and the next moment he was mounting his horse: ”Third Brother, now that your Second Brother and I are going away, you are the only man the Jun Family can depending on!”
[Big Brother! Big Brother ah, why did you say that? How stupid was your little Brother, ah, I had never been able to understand the meaning behind your words until this day! Those were…. Your last words! ]
[Big Brother, did you already know this then? What did you know about? Perhaps, you had sensed something? Why didn't you say anything?…. why didn't you tell me! ]
[You knew that I would have chosen to die before sending my own brothers to the gates of ruin…. ah! ]
[If I ever get a change to return to that time a decade ago, when I hadn't met ”Her”, I would go back and do it all differently… I would! I would!….. ]
”Third Uncle.” Jun Mo Xie stepped out of his wheelchair: ”The Dead are dead. Accept fate, and shun your grief! Looking after your own self is the correct way ahead!”
Jun Wu Yi slowly raised his head and looked at Jun Mo Xie as his face suddenly revealed a sorrowful smile: ”Mo Xie, someone had once spoken these words to your father several years ago; Accept fate and shun your grief so you may be able to look after yourself. Do you know what he said in reply?”
”He…. What did my father say?”
”All three of us had fought in that battle together, and we had suffered heavy losses. Your father was very sad to see so many of our men lying dead on the battlefield. At that time, one of the officers advised him: General, Shun your grief! Take control of your body and emotions.” Jun Wu Yi spoke slowly as he recalled the words: ”At that time, Big Brother had replied: Why do you want me to shun my grief? Why should I shun my grief? My brothers have died, and they were killed by my enemy, shouldn't I now kill the enemy? How will letting go of my grief change anything? Taking control over my emotions….”
Jun Wu Yi's raised his voice, almost as if he was trying to imitate his Elder Brother: ”Yes, we will have to find a way to shun this grief in time... but I will not waste this grief in tears, I will use it to kill the enemy! I will use this grief to raid my enemy and then eliminate them in one swoop so my brethren never have to feel this grief again! I will not shun my grief! I will change my circumstances!”
”I will not shun my grief! I will change my circumstances!” Jun Mo Xie softly repeated these two phrases, and suddenly a wave current rushed through his body, flooding his body with pride and honor as it resonated throughout his soul!