439 No-One (1/2)

”If you can't sleep, there is no need to pretend.”

Xiu pressed her lips together as she opened her eyes and looked at Ying whose attention had already been on her. It had been an hour since Ying told her to rest but Xiu couldn't sleep. It wasn't that she didn't want to, it was just that her mind was refusing to embrace the unconsciousness that often dragged her back to some distant memories she didn't want to visit.

”Ying Jie, aren't you bored of looking at me?” Ying raised her brows in question when Xiu continued, ”You had been sitting here for hours and you're only staring at me. You can just play games on your phone.”

”Lost my phone,” replied Ying calmly but didn't explain how she lost it. Well, technically, she didn't lose it, she just threw it away when she found Xiu in trouble. It couldn't be helped. Besides, she had never been attached to things in her life.

Ying noticed the way Xiu nodded and chewed on her lips as if she was contemplating whether to say something or not. From what Ying understood about Xiu, she wasn't the kind of person to have hesitation. She was blunt and everyone knew that. In fact, she would often say hurtful things and would only realize it afterward.

”When did you become so reserved?” asked Ying. ”If you have something to say then you should.”

”I...” Xiu hesitated again as she looked at Ying's soft smile and took a deep breath. ”Are you really that strong or you're too good at hiding?” Ying frowned at her slightly. ”You know about almost everything that means you know about Sister Meihui and Li bro's wedding as well.” Ying had a look of realization as if she finally understood why Xiu was hesitating for so long. ”How are you so calm about it?”

Ying chuckled at her and joked, ”What else can I do? Should I be crying? Making a scene? Screaming? Breaking things? What really do you want me to do?”

Xiu tried to sit up and Ying helped her with the pillows. ”I don't want you to do any of that. I just expected you to be honest with yourself.”

”You think I'm not honest enough?”

Xiu held her hand and shook her head, ”That smile of yours is the proof that you're running away from your own pain. You might not believe it but I do know what you're going through. I can assure you that I can understand your feelings better than anyone.”

Of course, she could understand her feelings. She had been through the same. She had also seen the one she loved marrying another right before her eyes. How could she not know what was Ying going through?

Ying placed her hand on Xiu's head and said, ”My smile is not to hide my pain. It's a reminder that a man's choice can't define my life.” Xiu eyes widened as she stared back at her. ”Yes, I loved him for years but he didn't. One-sided love is just that; one-sided. We can't do anything about it. I've had my fair share of crying nights pining over him. But so what? Did it bring me anything?”