Chapter 221 - In My Heart (1/2)

Time doesn't stop for anyone even though all of us at one point in our lives wished that it did. For instance, you're feeling so happy, blissful and content in that one moment that you didn't want it to pass. Xiu certainly had those moments now. And oddly, in each of those moments, the other half was Darren.

Perhaps, his presence alone was enough to make Xiu wish for the time to stop. Because in every moment that she spent with him, she wanted that moment to last forever. Just like right now when she wanted to stay in his arms forever. It was indeed true that Xiu always forgot whatever was going around her when his arms were around her. And why would she care about the world when her world was holding her, keeping her safe in his arms?

On the other hand, even though Darren was willing to accept her truth slowly, he still had a strong desire to know why Chen Xiu chose to commit suicide? As much as he had known her, she would have never done it over something like those scandals that media weaved her in. Then what exactly pushed her to the point of death?

”Sweets, can I ask you something?”

Xiu who had been playing with his hand stopped her movement and took a deep sigh before saying, ”If the question has anything to do with Chen Xiu's death, then no. I'd very much not like to talk about it.”

Even though she talked about herself in the third person point of view as if Chen Xiu wasn't her previous incarnation, Darren didn't find it odd at all. Because Chen Xiu had a bad habit of talking about herself as if she wasn't just talking about herself. He had gotten used it.

”You don't want to tell me?” questioned Darren looking at her.

Xiu held his face in her hands and said, ”It's not that I don't want to tell you. I don't want to remember it myself. Not right now. Honestly speaking, I hate to even recall that whole past. Yes, I can't deny it's mine but what I can do is stay away from it.” She kissed his forehead and went on, ”I told you before, I pitied Chen Xiu the most. And when we come to pity our own self, that's when life becomes a living nightmare.”

She hugged him tightly as she added, ”I have lived a life doing what everyone asked of me. And that life in itself was a slow and painful death to me. I really don't wanna go back to it. Besides, when I woke up as Bai Xiu, I promised myself to never turn back. So, I really am not ready to talk about it.”

”Do you really hate your life as Chen Xiu that much?” Darren didn't know why but he felt hurt knowing how she avoided her past life.

”I don't hate it. Not anymore. Because being Bai Xiu taught me one thing, I could never be me if I hadn't experienced everything as Chen Xiu. But that's also a reality that the chapter of Chen Xiu is closed now. And I've moved on from it. I'm not denying that I didn't write those chapters of my life as Chen Xiu but I'd most certainly don't want to read those chapters out loud.”

Darren's arms tightened around her as he smiled gently since even if she didn't want to read those chapters out loud, unconsciously she still talked exactly like she used to do.

”Wasn't it tough? Being Bai Xiu? A whole new person. A whole new life. With completely unknown people.”

Xiu thought about it long and hard before saying, ”It got easier after I accepted this weird thing that happened. It took me a while to adjust in this new life but I think I did a pretty good job.”

Seeing her frisky look, Darren felt relaxed that she didn't have to go through any hardship again. ”How did you choose what to do next?”

”I didn't,” said Xiu delightfully. ”I mean you should know how bad I was at making decisions for myself. It couldn't possibly change overnight just because I got a new life. People don't change their habits just like that. For instance, it does take a moment to fall in love but it definitely doesn't take just a moment to fall out of love.”

”Then how did you manage to change?” he asked curiously since the change in her was striking.

”I let the things happen naturally and eventually everything fell into place on its own. Yes, there is only one effort that I made.” Darren looked at her with raised brows as she continued, ”I made the effort to fall back in love.”

”With whom?” asked Darren strangely.