Chapter 217 - SHEN JI YUNS DILLEMA (2/2)

So, he picked up his phone that fell and typed;

Anonymous: [Both me and my friend are guys.]

After he sent that, there was a momentary silence in the barrage area. Until that person who first replied to his post said;

[Then, dude, you're gay.]

[Am I experiencing a first-hand coming-out of the closet story?]

[Kyaaaa!!! A real-life BL! Could I write this one as a fan-fic?]

[Goodluck. Even though the road ahead of you would certainly be hard, I wish you and your friend all the best.]

Shen Ji Yun no longer read the respond that followed after that. Because all his mind could focus on was that one reply; [Then, dude, you're gay.]

He's… gay?

When he arrived home, he was still in a bit of a daze. His brain felt like it just short-circuited and he couldn't even tell the right from left. It's not an exaggeration to say that he's now having an identity crisis. Like a truth you believed for the past 20 years of your life was just suddenly thrown into the gutter. And now he had to face something that could possibly change the course of his life forever.

How the hell could he remain calm?

When he entered the house, Shen Yi Mu who was reading a book in the living room thought that his nephew looked like some mindless zombie aimlessly walking.

”Ji Yun, you're back early,” he called. ”I thought you would eat dinner at the Bai's, so I didn't ask the housekeeper to cook dinner. Are you okay with take-outs?”

Shen Ji Yun stopped in his tracks and turned to his uncle. ”Yes, take-out is fine,” he said, not really thinking much.

Shen Yi Mu stared at his nephew's face and noticed that there's something wrong with his expression. It's not the usual expressionless one. Rather, his face was completely blank. As if he was at the end of his rope and had no idea how to proceed after. ”Is something bothering you?”

At his uncle's inquiry, Shen Ji Yun decided to ask him for advice. Maybe his uncle could give him a better grasp of the situation he was currently facing.

”Uncle, how would you know if you're in love with a person?”

Shen Yi Mu was surprised by this sudden question. Oh, was his cold as ice nephew finally experiencing the spring of his youth? He truly wanted to just tease him. But looking at his state right now, it would probably be better to just give him a serious answer.

”Well, what I will tell you is just based on my experience, but it might not be the case for everyone. When you're in love, you basically feel much happier compared to normal. It's like you're always in some sort of high. When you discover new things, you want to try and do it together with that person. Even the things you have done a thousand times before felt much more fun when doing it with them. You find yourself wanting to spend more time with them, to experience life with them. They're always in the back of your mind. And you get just a little bit jealous when they give more attention to others than to you.

”You start seeing them as an extension of yourself, so when they're hurt, nervous or really excited about something, then you experience the same feelings as them. You wanted them to always be happy. Seeing them cry feels like there's a thousand needles poking at your heart. You'd rather be the one who's hurt than them. Unknowingly, you start to include them in your future. As if it's the most natural thing. And lastly, all the cheezy love songs suddenly make sense.”

Shen Ji Yun stared at his uncle. This was the first time he had seen him with such a soft look on his face. It's almost like he was reminiscing. And maybe he did. Maybe he said those things while thinking of that person he fell in love with.

He suddenly fell into a deep thought. While listening to his uncle, there was only one person that kept on flashing in his mind. Every sentence his uncle said applied to that person. The more he heard, the more the image of that person became even clearer in his mind. Until it was only filled with Luo Yan's beautiful face – smiling at him and calling him 'Brother Ji Yun'.

This led him to a sudden realization. That realization slowly made his heart beat faster and faster. Almost as if it would burst at any second. He could no longer deny it.

He was indeed in love with Luo Yan.