Chapter 187 - Stabilizing Comfort (1/2)

When the Emperor finally ended the kiss, he opened his eyes to see Lei Xing pouting again. She glanced up at him but immediately lowered her gaze to his chest. The Emperor slightly knit his brows and softly caressed her cheek as he gently asked, ”What's wrong?”

She lightly shook her head, then closed her eyes and buried her face in his palm but did not say anything. He could see her eyelashes fluttering and he could feel her slightly shaking as well. He would have thought she was crying if he could not see her dry cheek and he also did not feel any moisture on his palm.

The Emperor was perplexed, he was not sure what to make of this reaction. She was behaving oddly. She was blushing like usual, but she seemed as if she wanted to hide...as if she wanted to run.

The Emperor frowned and felt a pang of panic and blurted out, ”Stay.” But it came out a lot more forceful than he intended and it sounded like an order. He felt Lei Xing stiffen and then he began to worry he might have scared her and wanted to say something to settle her, but then he heard her say ”okay” in a tiny voice. He blinked and then smiled, and lightly stroked her hairline with the tip of his fingers.

{...It must have been hard for you to come find me...But I am very happy you did...}

She had never told him that she liked him before or really said anything about her feelings towards him. He was stunned and extremely happy then and was still riding on that high. It was clear that it was not easy for her to say it and that made him feel even happier. It was not something she said lightly and she meant it from her core so it felt all the more precious. As mean as the thought was, he was very glad for her difficult time.

He gently brought her face to his chest and hugged and kept stroking her hair. It was fine if she wanted to hide for a while. As long as she stayed, hiding was fine.

When he hugged her, Lei Xing opened her eyes and lightly sighed but stayed there.

{...It's fine...I like him, I know that much and just admitted it...He likes me too, that much is clear...for now...I like him doesn't mean I can't live without him, because I can. It's just going to be like having a boyfriend, those come and go. It's not like he's my firs- Okay, he is my first boyfriend...But that's just irrelevant...When we break up -...}

Lei Xing frowned as she remembered that stupid play she and Xiao Ting watched before she entered the palace. The one where the love-stricken Emperor went on a killing spree because of his ”love”.

{...He's a sweetheart, so he would never do that...probably...Chen You deserved it and she's not dead yet...so prison? STOP! Now I'm being ridiculous >_

Lei Xing showed a wry smile on that last thought. She had jokingly thought of it but considering it was her own life, the humor was very dry and honestly a bit depressing. She did not believe in happily ever after, she had witnessed too many failures and had disillusioned herself a long time ago.

She was content being alone, it was easier, a less stressful. She would not have to worry about what someone else was doing, why they were distant, if they were upset, if they were with someone else...She did not want that struggle in her life, she could never stand that idea of it and so, wanted no one. But then he fell into her life from nowhere...

{...Actually, I fell into his life...*sigh* I'm thinking too much, definitely am...Who thinks about breaking up on day one? Technically day one...Apparently I do because I'm a freaking horrible person! No! I'm only preparing for the worst and because the worst is right around the corner for this guy...

...Okay, to be honest, the opportunity to cheat is right around the corner for everyone. We know this...And even when it wasn't there - *sigh*... He's had the opportunity the whole time, and he's completely ignored it all this time, even when he's technically ”entitled” to...so he's better, more...trustworthy?... At the very least, much better...}

Lei Xing closed her eyes and took a deep breath, held it in for a bit and then exhaled. Then she sat up and saw the Emperor smiling at her sweetly. She could see the concern in his eyes and her heart warmed and relaxed. She felt safe.

Lei Xing subconsciously smiled back, scanned his face and then lightly touched his cheek and said, ”You look much better already...I worried for nothing.” She jokingly said with a smile, trying to lighten the situation. She was aware that she had been behaving very oddly and it worried him, and she was uncomfortable with that.

The Emperor's smile widened and he took her hand and kissed her fingers, ”Your worry makes me very happy, it's never for nothing...”

Lei Xing raised an eyebrow and chuckled.

{...What a flirt! (〇>∀

The Emperor watched her laugh and then got up, pulled her up as well as he said, ”Let's go to bed.”

”B-bed? A-aren't you busy?” Lei Xing asked, her face heated up and she looked down at the memorials on the table. She knew it was going to happen, but this soon was a bit...She was becoming incredibly fl.u.s.tered.