Chapter 178 - Escape (1/2)

The Emperor twirled the container of balm a servant had delivered to him in earlier. He had spent quite some time scrutinizing the small container trying to decipher Lei Xing's meaning. The maid who delivered it did not bring any message, apparently, Lei Xing had simply asked that it be delivered to him.

{...Is this concern or is this a send off?...No, I have quite a few things around her palace, this is nothing...So it's concern...but nothing more?...}

The Emperor put down the container and sighed. He really could not be certain whether it was one way or the other, he could not be certain about anything when it came to Lei Xing. He still was not sure what to do about her and so could not return to her palace tonight as usual.

But since he had been staying there for about two months now, he knew it would invite a lot of speculation if he stayed away, especially after the absurd events of the day. To avoid that, he sent someone to check on her and ordered that all her favorite dishes be specially prepared for her dinner. He even ordered for some gifts to be sent over to her in the morning as well.

Even if they were on bad terms, she was still Lei Yong's sister...and regardless of the situation, he still cared for her, a lot more than he wished to admit at the moment.

The Emperor sighed again and glanced around his room, being here again felt odd. After finishing the rest of his work for the day, he went and laid down on the bed...and it felt even stranger. Everything was odd and uncomfortable.

He sighed and laid there staring at the canopy above as his mind started to wander...and all his thoughts were of Lei Xing. He wondered if she was asleep yet, if she had eaten, if she was crying...if she felt uncomfortable without him there, as uncomfortable as he felt without her.

{...No, she would be comfortable now...She always asked me to leave...Used to...She hasn't done that in the last few weeks...But perhaps she was just tolerating me?...}

The Emperor sighed again...He missed her, then he wondered if she missed him. He always believed himself to be a very resilient and self-sufficient person, but he was starting to feel very weary with her. She made him feel insecure...and small. He had never felt like this before, not even when he was chastised or ignored by his parents, as imposing as they were...He had never sought anyone's approval as much as he sought hers.

She called him a good person, said he was really nice...But even then, it was not enough. Not enough for her and not enough for him.

The Emperor closed his eyes with a sigh and after a long while of simply laying there, he drifted off to sleep into a memory he loathed.

”You're finally in the mood to talk and this what you have to say.” His father said with a raised eyebrow as he scrutinized Jun Kai, who was kneeling before him with keen interest. Jun Kai looked down and knit his brows but did not respond, so his father continued on and asked, ”Why should I?”

”He needs your help.” Jun Kai said looking up at his father with a confused frown. Jun Shan's maid had come to find him after his training session and told him about Jun Shan's whipping and confinement. So Jun Kai had immediately come to the royal study to inform their father, to get his help. But then he was asked such a ridiculous question, it was perplexing.

His father lightly shrugged and then picked up a memorial, ”If he's weak enough to die from a little beating, then so be it...Why should it bother you?” He asked narrowing his eyes at Jun Kai.

”He's my brother.” Jun Kai said glaring at him, irritated by the question, ”...and your son.”

His father stared at him for a bit and knit his brows, seemingly in deep contemplation as he dragged out the words, ”brother, siblings, friends...” He paused and frowned, then raised his eyebrows and condescendingly said, ”...Admirable, but ultimately serves no purpose, compassion makes you weak.”

Jun Kai's glare intensified as he realized his father did not plan to help but he tried again, ”You helped me...and my mother...” Then he lowered his head as the thought of his mother made him feel more upset.

His father snorted and then enlightened him, ”All with a purpose, you have your uses and she...cannot die.” Then he got up and walked down to Jun Kai, who kept glaring at him as if the glaring would suddenly will his father to do as he wished. But rather than be offended, his father seemed to find it amusing, he smiled at him for a while and then proceeded to walk off, throwing the words, ”Compassion is useless, you should be better.” back at Jun Kai, who knelt there glaring at his father's departing back.