Chapter 170 - Madhouse (1/2)
”She accused me of being ungrateful. She truly believed I would live as her son and ignore the mother who had brought me nothing but pain...I would have, I truly could have but then she crossed the line. I left her and waited for her to try to stop me, left myself completely open and waited...But she did not come, instead, she chose a coward's way and killed herself. I would have saved her if I could, I wanted her to atone and death seemed too easy...She called me foolish, perhaps I was...They gambled and they lost. Whatever little I might have owed them for securing my throne, was repaid with the Zhao family's continued existence and Prime minister Zhao is aware of his place...”
Lei Xing's ears perked up and she listened attentively. She was not one to ever ask for gossip, but if one would talk, she would listen if the mood were right and the topic, interesting enough. The topic was definitely interesting and the mood was also right enough. So even though at the back of her mind she kept wondering why he was telling her all this, she calmly looked at him and patiently waited for him to continue on with his tale.
”She killed my father, I knew and did nothing to stop her. I didn't care. Her brother, Prime minister Zhao was obviously part of that plot, not to mention the embezzling and other criminal activities her family was engaging in. My father became a bit of a fool in his later years, courtesy of her slow poisoning...Once my oldest brother, the Crown prince then was out of the way, my father had outlived his usefulness.”
”...Not to mention the annoyance she must have felt when my father seemed to be pushing my third brother into filling the Crown Prince shoes...Of course, they did it all to ensure I got the throne because I was the only prince, who at least hated my mother and so the only one who held no sort of grudge against her. Frankly, she thought I should have been grateful to her...and perhaps I was at a time.”
”She framed your mother? So she killed - Oh wow.” Lei Xing excitedly said as she went wide-eyed with keen interest.
The Emperor raised an eyebrow, another unexpected reaction. ”You didn't seem to care at all when I said I killed her.”
Lei Xing excitedly explained, ”Well, this is different. This is a whole conspiracy, a deep level of scheming here. highly inter-” Lei Xing thankfully stopped herself and covered her mouth as she sheepishly looked at him and said, ”...sorry.”
{...Shit! What's wrong with me?! It's his life, not a tv show!... Highly insensitive is what it is! >_
The Emperor brought her hands down with a small smile, ”It's alright. It does make quite an interesting tale.”
Lei Xing still feeling awful, bit her inner lip and lowered her head.
{...I'm a horrible person -_-)'...}
The Emperor absentmindedly fiddled with her hands as he continued, ”You're right. She did kill the first Empress. They had been the best of friends growing up, neighbors, but such relationsh.i.p.s mean little when at play for power. So she killed her to become Empress...She may not have killed my second brother's mother, but she had always had a weak constitution and so ruining her family was enough. They were guilty of the crimes they were accused of though, but it was definitely not done with justice in mind. My second brother lost the little support he had in court and earned our father's anger. My father was already not fond of him, he was fond of no one...except maybe my mother, but that I think that was more of an obsession...”
The Emperor knit his brows and took a deep breath, ”My father was not a good person, the first Empress was not a good person, my mother as you know cannot be said to be a good person, most y second brother's mother's family members were also not good people. They had all done more than a fair share of wrongs in their lifetime...” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath again and said, ”I am also not a good person, therefore I could understand all of that...But then she...”
He broke off again and frowned as he squeezed Lei Xing's hand so tightly it was hurting, but then he was shaking again, even more than before. And so she could not bring herself to complain as she worriedly looked at him, scared he was about to have a bout of violent tremors or go into a seizure.
The Emperor opened his eyes again and she saw they were red and watery and she froze.
{...He's really...crying O_O)...}
He looked down at her hand and plucked at the bracelet as he said in a quiet, almost trembling voice, ”My third brother, Prince Yi...his mother, she was a good person...” He closed his eyes again, took another deep breath, obviously trying to steady himself, ”But because I...was naive, foolish really...I thought I was helping and...If I had just left them alone then...she wouldn't have...I -I couldn't face him...They had been kind to me and I...destroyed their lives...”
Lei Xing felt more than saw his guilt. It seemed like she was looking at a crying child, not a grown man. And despite the fact that she was never one to go around hugging random crying children, she could not help hugging this one and so she wrapped her hands around his neck and hugged his trembling body to hers.
From what she knew, Prince Yi's mother died a long time ago from an illness, which she now knew was a setup. So he must have been a child when it happened, and for him to have this level of guilt over the actions of a crazy a.d.u.l.t was upsetting.
”Did you ask for her to be killed?” Lei Xing asked. She felt the Emperor slightly shake his head and then continued, ”If you neither did it nor asked for it to be done, then it cannot be your fault. You are not responsible for the actions of crazy people and she definitely sounds like a crazy person and to think she raised you too...To think they raised you.” Lei Xing said thinking of the Empress dowager and his father.
{...You definitely survived a madhouse -_-)'...}