Chapter 138 - Noble Aspirations (1/2)

After thinking for a while about how to frame the question, Lei Xing ended up just spitting out, ”I heard you went to war at the age of twelve, why? Were you forced into it?... I mean, twelve is pretty young even in these times, right?... Weren't you scared? I mean you were so little.”

Lei Xing thought of her younger brother at twelve, he was still so small and was still an adorable baby, going to war at that age was just impossible for her to imagine.

The Emperor blankly stared at her for a while, he did not expect that question and neither had he ever been asked such a question.

{...Scared?...}

Lei Xing looked at his blank expression and then quickly said, ”Nevermind, forget it...Let's keep going.” Then she tried to continue walking but the Emperor pulled her back and then sighed and solemnly said, ”Fear wasn't something I was raised to have...It served no purpose and only made you weak...” Those were his father's words and for his mother chimed the same tune, fear was weakness, and weakness was not allowed.

”Ah, I see...” Lei Xing quietly responded, wanting to kick herself for asking this question as she looked at his solemn expression. She just ruined the good atmosphere and made it depressing.

{...Why the hell did I ask that question?! The answer couldn't possibly be good! If he had a happy childhood, he obviously wouldn't have been thrown into a war that young!... Now, what am I supposed to say? I suck! >_

The Emperor was not exactly keen on talking about this, he had never had a conversation with anyone about this before. He looked at Lei Xing and then thought it would be fine. Since she asked, he would share. So he went on, ”I wasn't forced, I asked to go...I was tired and it was the only way I could leave the palace...” Then he sighed and quietly said, ”I initially went there with the thought to die.”

Lei Xing blinked then opened her mouth but was not sure what to say and so closed it. She really wanted to kick herself into a volcano now, emotionally fragile situations was not something she handled well. She looked down and frowned, thinking of what she could possibly say.

{...He just wanted he wanted to commit suicide... Um, what do I say to that? Don't?... But it's in the past, right? I don't know T_T)...}

The Emperor looked at her and then poked her forehead, and she frowned at his finger, he smiled and said, ”As you can see I'm alive and well...”

The Emperor then continued their leisure walk, pulling her along and calmly continued, ”I wasn't planning to just stand there and die. Of course, I planned to fight...But the battlefield is a dangerous place and death comes in an instant. if I died there, it would be an honorable death, simply be an unfortunate event. No more expectations, no more responsibilities and no more...Nothing, that would've been the end and I wouldn't have had to come back here anymore...”

The Emperor sighed, ”...But alas, I survived. In the end, I couldn't die and I ended up taking on all the expectations, responsibilities...and errors to be rectified. Fate always seems to have its own plan despite our wants...But it's not always too bad.” He said glancing at Lei Xing. She was one thing fate proposed that he had come to like, quite a bit.

Hearing all this, Lei Xing did not know what to think or say. She subconsciously squeezed the hand holding hers a little. The Emperor glanced at Lei Xing and could see the worry on her face and felt comforted. He smiled at her reassuringly and continued, ”As you know, my mother was the Xia princess and of course, that means that I am half Xia and as Xia royalty, we have a duty to ensure the livelihoods and wellbeing of our people. Yet I now rule an empire where they are oppressed slaves...So naturally, I have a duty to free my people, but doing that successfully takes time and planning...”

Lei Xing knit her brows, she thought it was good that he wanted to free his people but then thinking of the other slaves who were unlucky enough not to be from Xia she thought it was unfair and would probably lead to more unrest and grievances in his direction.

It could potentially cause an uprising, especially given the details of that story she read. If the enslaving started with Xia and it was a result of their Princess's actions. The angry and oppressed people could construe that to mean, if not for the Xia princess angering the then Emperor, they could have simply been absorbed into Long country as its citizens like was the result of earlier conquests.

The enslaving was the Long Emperor's punishment to the Xia princess and the effect trickled down to other countries. If he now freed the Xia people because of the same Xia princess, what about the other countries who suffered the same fate?