Chapter 60 - The Forsaken (2/2)

”Four days?” The Empress dowager whispered.

Song mama looked at her worried and asked, ”Your majesty, is there something wrong?”

The Empress dowager did not respond and simply walking out.

...The celebration feels just like it was just yesterday, I don't remember four whole days?...Nothing at all? like they never happened...And how did Kai'er know about that?...I abandoned him? He was the one who left me!... He ran away simply because I scolded him and then almost got himself poisoned to death, probably by that same Zhao witch and he stupidly went to live with her after too!... Wait, something like this also happened then too...

As she rode the palanquin back to her palace, the Empress dowager went over the events of the past in her mind. At that time, she had woken to find an Imperial doctor in the small room in the cold palace, she was informed that she had passed out due to overexertion. She then asked where her son was. Song mama then informed her that it seemed that two days ago, both of them had gotten into an argument, where she must have scolded him too harshly so he ran away, got poisoned and was currently fighting for his life. On hearing this, she was of course, frantic and clamored to see him and for him to be brought back to her, but her pleas were ignored. After a week, she received news that he was able to make a full recovery, she expected for him to return to her immediately, but she waited and waited but he never came. She made threats to kill herself if he was not returned to her to force the Emperor to make him come back, but her threats fell on deaf ears this time. Song mama had even gone to try to talk the little prince into returning or at least visiting his mother, but he never responded to her. Another week and a few days went by, finally he came back with Eunuch Li in tow.

As soon as he walked in, she ran to him and looked him over, ”Kai'er, you finally came back! Tell me who poisoned you? Was it that Zhao witch? It must be her, I greatly underestimated that witch! This is why I told you never to go wandering around!” She scolded again and then took a deep breath to calm herself, ”Don't worry, once I get out of here, I will get rid of her once and for all! You need to stay here with me for your own safety, how will you protect yourself from those vipers?” Then she scoffed, ”He should know now that you need me to be able to live well. So what did the Emperor say about this? Has he looked into it who did it? Don't tell me he is going to cover up for that Zhao witch? Tell me!”

As she was talking, the little prince just blankly stared at her with a deepening frown.

”Why aren't you saying anything?” She asked.

The little prince then brushed her hands off his shoulders and stepped back and then flatly said, ”I came to say that I will never come back here.” Then he glanced at Song mama and then back to his mother, ”So stop coming to look for me, it is infuriating.” Then he turned and walked out towards the gate.

The Empress dowager stayed there frozen on her for a bit and then became outraged and rushed towards the gate, ”How dare you?! How dare you say that after everything I've done for you? For us?! How can you be so foolish as to let yourself be used like this?! How could a son I gave birth to be so blatantly foolish?!” By the time she got to the gate, the guards had already locked it behind him. She raged on for a little while longer, pounding on the closed gate with Song mama beside her trying to calm her down. After she calmed down, she sunk to the floor and Eunuch Li walked up to her and knelt beside her and bowed, ”Your majesty, do not worry, I will make sure to properly look after him in your stead till the day when you can be free.” She did not respond and just kept staring blankly at the gates. After giving her another bow, Eunuch Li got up and left, the gate was opened and promptly locked behind him. She continued sitting there looking at the gate for a long while after with Song mama at her side, trying to reassure her that the little prince did not mean what he said and he will be back soon.

...How could he? How could he abandon me like this? I had put my all into him and now this...Is the world truly against me? What is the point of living now?... Wouldn't it have been better to have just died then with everyone... Even the child I had hope in has left me now too...Living is really too hard...

The Empress dowager frowned in irritation as she recalled those memories. Another set of memories came to mind, this strange forgetfulness event reminded her of how she used to stab the late Emperor. While she hated him, she never intended to injure him, except on one occasion. It served her no purpose to constantly antagonize him and was something that could only be detrimental to her cause. She never remembered stabbing him on all the other occasions save for the one. One moment everything will be fine and things will be going smoothly between them, then she would blink and find herself holding a bloody object with him injured and looking at her with anger and pain. It was only a split second she did not recall, she never meant to, but she always did it and seeing his accusing eyes filled her with so much anger that she could not control herself and would end up flying into a rage. And so they would always end up arguing and parting on very bad terms.

...How dare he expect me to apologize after everything he did!... He deserved it and more!...

When she returned back to her palace, she had Song mama recount the events of the last few days to her. As she listened, she tried hard to recall but could not recall anything at all.

”...You were meeting with a Doctor, a well-known skilled fertility doctor called Doctor Lou, you wanted to empl-”

”That's enough!” The Empress dowager suddenly shouted, holding her head. Her head was hurting and her ears were ringing loudly as well. ”I'm tired.”

Song mama immediately went to her side to help her up to the bed, ”Your majesty, you just recovered, you need to rest more. All these things do not matter, your health is most important.”

As the Empress dowager laid down. She kept thinking back to the Emperor's words and past events.

...Could something else have during those two days?... But even so, how could he abandon me like that? If he can abandon me once, he can definitely do it again... But how could I strangle - I still find it unbelievable...It makes no sense...