172 I Really Am the Bes (2/2)
[Evaluating setting.]
[Evaluating characters.]
[Identifying main characters.]
[Evaluating style.]
[Evaluating incorporation of information (IncIn).]
[Evaluating probability of grabbing reader's attention (GRAP).]
[Identifying problems.]
[Compiling suggestions for improvement.]
[Appraising skill level.]
[Organizing results.]
[Setting: 5/5
Characters: 5/5
Style: 4/5
Incin: 4/5
GRAP: 5/5
Overall rating: 4.6/5
Evaluation: The host has managed to provide necessary information about the setting, characters, and development of the story. The potentially generated interest of readers is judged to be high. Please try implementing the following suggestions for further improvement.
1) Naming: With Jin Bao Fu, Xue Chang Fu, Dou Jin Fu and Yue Fu Gang as characters and Fu Yun peak as a place mentioned early on the character 'Fu' is judged to be used at a higher than average frequency. Consider changing the name of at least two characters to make them more easily distinguishable and thus more memorable for your readers.
2) IncIn: The reader is provided with necessary information about the story concerning the characters, setting, and future development of the story. Part of the information is conveyed through the interaction of characters while another part is told to the reader. Try to rely less heavily on the second variant and instead convey more through your characters and their actions.
3) Style: The beginning is well-planned and manages to grab the readers' attention through the plot. Besides a good story the beginning should also showcase your ability as a writer. Try to highlight your ability in the use of words.]
Su Yan blinked. This … This was probably the highest score the system had ever given him! In fact, this was nearly a perfect score! Ah, maybe he should have submitted this as the final version already!
Su Yan happily pushed his chair toward Nie Chang's side of the counter and clutched his arm. ”Ah Chang, the system said that I'm a really great writer! You were right. I really am the best!”