77 A Diamond in the Rough (1/2)
The system didn't let him wait and got to work right away.
[Evaluating setting.]
[Evaluating characters.]
[Evaluating style.]
[Identifying problems.]
[Compiling suggestions for improvement.]
[Appraising skill level.]
[Organizing results.]
[Setting: 4/5
Characters: 4/5
Style: 3/5
Overall rating: 3,6/5
Evaluation: The host has managed to put part of his theoretical knowledge into practice. Please try implementing the following suggestions for improvement.
1) Reconsider the sequence of scenes. Especially a short story might benefit from a linear sequence of events without flashbacks or foreshadowing.
2) Add more description to make it easier for your readers to immerse themselves in the story. Pay special attention to the description of the characters.
3) Show the feelings of the main characters through their interactions. One little gesture might account for more than a hundred big words.]
Su Yan stared at the result without knowing if he should think it through or rage immediately. In the end, he stood up and ran into the living room, throwing himself at Nie Chang. Ah, it felt great having a boyfriend you could cry to!
”Ah Chang! The system is bullying me!”
Nie Chang lifted his hands and stared at the person that had thrown itself onto him. Was this really the same guy he had pursued for years? How come it felt like they had been together for weeks or months already even though they had just gotten together a few hours ago? This guy who had never understood his approaches was suddenly especially enthusiastic about their relationship. He had a bit of a problem getting used to it this fast.
”Uh … What did it do?” He patted Su Yan's back and shifted around to prevent a repeat of what had happened before.
Su Yan clung to his shirt and looked up with a pitiful look in his eyes. ”It says to add more description but it only gave me five thousand words!”
Nie Chang nodded thoughtfully. ”You already wrote that much?”
”Yes!” Su Yan pursed his lips.
Nie Chang pondered. ”And the limit you have for the revision is the same?”
”It … should be?”
”Have a look.”
Su Yan took out his phone and had a look at the system again. Naturally, the task for the revision had already been issued: [Polishing a rough diamond] read the title. Su Yan grimaced. Honestly? What kind of title was that? He went on to read the description, though.
[A story you've written is oftentimes like a rough diamond: You can see it's sparkle but you know it could refract the light even more beautifully. To have your story make the readers' eyes shine you should do a detailed revision in several steps that will make sure your story is the best possible version when you publish it.
Edit your first original story to make it shine before publishing.