50 Independent But Lonely? (1/2)

The rest of the day passed by in a blur for Su Yan. When he was finally back home, lying in his bed with a pillow hugged to his chest, he only had a vague recollection of how the workshop ended and the things that followed after. It seemed Nie Chang had driven him to a restaurant afterward, a nice restaurant even, and they had eaten but he couldn't remember what had been on his plate. He hadn't tasted anything and if Nie Chang had actually said something, then he hadn't heard any of that, either. He just knew that he somehow ended up in his apartment again.

Su Yan sighed. His mind was still a bit hazy. All that was left inside was that scene of Nie Chang saying ”Oh. Here. This is for you!” and handing him that heart-shaped chocolate.

He had said it so casually. As if … as if it was a normal thing, something he might say every day. Well, the thing he had said was something he could say every day. But what about that chocolate?

Su Yan nervously bit his nails. Maybe he was over-thinking this but it had really felt as if Nie Chang wanted to say more with this.

”It can't be!” Su Yan shook his head and hugged the pillow closer.

But looking back at this day … He had felt the whole time as if something was wrong. Su Yan slowly let go of the pillow and stood up. He went into the kitchen and looked at the flowers on the table.

Those were alstroemeria. He clearly remembered telling Nie Chang once that those were his favorite flowers. Thinking about it now, it didn't seem like a coincidence that he had gotten exactly this kind.

And then there was that car. It was also the one he liked and they had talked about that, too. And the first thing Nie Chang had done was asking him if he liked it. Why should that be important? It was his car! What mattered was if he himself liked it, not some friend. But Nie Chang had watched the advertisement again and obviously watched really closely to know for sure what they showed and what not.

And then there was that thing he said: 'Since it's mine, it's obviously your car, too. Naturally, you'd be disappointed if we couldn't have it.' What was with that attitude of 'what's mine is yours'? They weren't in a relationship! They were friends! Just friends. They always had been …

Su Yan went back and sat down on his bed once more. His gaze was growing distant and a bit dazed.

Just friends. Could he really still say that? He hadn't noticed before but after spending the whole day with him he felt like something had changed between them. The way he felt when he was close to Nie Chang and the thing that happened in the park … That wasn't how he should feel about a friend, was it?

Su Yan raised his hand and absentmindedly touched his lips. Nie Chang had pressed him against the tree and done these things to him. But even now when he thought of it it hadn't felt like that kiss Li Ming forced on him in the subway. Yes, actually, he still felt his heart race when he thought about that kiss with Nie Chang. And that short moment in the workshop …

Su Yan blushed when he remembered how naturally Nie Chang had invaded his mouth. That definitely wasn't something friends would do! No wonder the guy from the row behind them had said something like that!

He covered his face with his hands and laid down. Oh god, what was he supposed to do now?! He needed advice!