Chapter 147 - Self-evaluation (1/2)
”When a person is drunk, their inhibition declines. Their brain is not functioning the same as if they were sober. Hence why there are strict laws against drunk driving. There are several reasons why you did what you did but the brain is an amazing and complicated organ of itself. How do you feel about the kiss?”
”I feel guilty, ashamed, and embarrassed about it. I pretended to the person that I don't recall any of it when I remembered all of it.”
”Do you perhaps have feelings toward the person you kissed?”
”No, I don't.” Lena replied bluntly. ”If I liked him, I think I would be more ecstatic about kissing him rather than feeling guilty and ashamed. And I have been deeply in love with someone before. I think if I feel in love again, I would not lie to myself about it. Love is a great thing when done correctly and if you ignore that feeling, it will slowly eat your brain.”
Lena paused and adjusted her sitting position on the floor. ”If I ignore the person entirely in the equation, the kiss was damn good though.”
”How is your sexual life? That's a bit personal but it might be why you kissed someone. A feeling of lust or sexual desire to do it.”
Lena paused to ponder again. SHE HAS NO SEXUAL LIFE!!
”None. I will only do such a thing with a person I genuinely love, that is if I am not drunk. I watched those bad videos once and it ruined my mind forever.”
Stella chuckled in her heart. It was not every time a patient is very honest during their first session together. ”Woman can watch those too. Could that possibly sparked a self-experience that you have never considered?”
Lena was quite so Stella continued. ”Some young woman get exposure to their own body desires when they are educated about sex in school. Others get curious when they are in a serious relationship. Maybe for you, you only felt the desire now because you want to start a family?”
”I do want a family. I want lots of kids.. like 6.”
Stella was surprised Lena wanted so many kids. These days, most woman only wanted 1 or 2. ”So maybe the question is not exactly why you kissed a man while you were drunk, but maybe self-realization about the mental changes your body is going through. It's just like experiencing your first period or going through puberty.”
Again... Lena was still quiet. She was processing the evaluation and question that Stella was giving her and trying to see if it was true. Lena felt that her desire to hug, kiss, or be near a man may be due to her heavy unconscious desire to be in a strong romantic relationship and start a family in the future.
”I think I understand now.” Lena spoke.
”Are you sure? We can talk more to explore this if you want to.”
”No. I am feeling a bit embarrassed... let's go backward and talk about you.”
”Sure.” Stella replied. Building a comfortable relationship with the patient can allow them to trust his/her therapist more. Stella often talked about herself but she always made sure not to go into too many details. She liked to keep her private life away from her work life too. ”What would you like to know about me?”
”I don't really know where to start.”
”Well, how about something we both can connect with? I met Dr. Tye when he did a lecture for my class. I could not believe such a young man was an accomplished doctor at his age.”
”Ah... I met Tye when he came to my house with Collin because Kris took some bad pills.”
Stella was a bit shocked. Tye did not tell her much about what Lena's role in Kris' therapy was but it seems like Lena has seen the worse of Kris.
”So Collin was there?”