142 He Doesn’t Love Me 2 (1/2)

She was having the same old dream again, this, Li Chuntao was aware of. She hadn't had this dream in a long time and yet every time she did, it reduced her to nothing. She felt weak, vulnerable, and helpless at the same time. Perhaps it was better for her to call it a nightmare because the end would always remain the same no matter how much she tried to change the course of action in her dream.

It will start with her sitting on a rocker at her home overseas, looking outside the cityscapes in the middle of the night. In her dream she could see herself as if she was a spectator in her own life. It was as if she was watching a film that she starred in herself.

Herself who was smiling, rubbing her protruding stomach with such gentleness clenched Li Chuntao's heart painfully. She listened intently as she sang sweet lullabies to the unborn child in her womb until her thoughts were disturbed by the ringing of the doorbell.

At times, Li Chuntao would see her Uncle Yuren visiting her as she remained seated on the same rocker, and each time the scene changed, Li Chuntao noticed that the same woman, herself, was getting heavier along her pregnancy.

Then the scene would change again and Li Chuntao would see her sitting on a hospital bed, not pregnant this time. Her loose maternity clothes were replaced with a flimsy blue hospital gown.

The Li Chuntao in her dream was like a living dead person. Her face and skin were too pale, her lips chapped and there were dark circles under her eyes indicating that she wasn't in the best of health.

There was an IV fluid connected to her hand as she remained seated there in a daze. Li Chuntao wondered how long she'd remained in the same position without moving an inch. Was it an hour or a few long hours? She had no idea.

It was only when her Uncle Yuren came into the scene did Li Chuntao in her dream react, acting hysterical as she cried in Li Yuren's arms. She couldn't hear any coherent words from the woman as she continued to cry in agony.

Why? Why was she crying? What could have happened to see her like this?

Li Chuntao felt something in her arms and looked down. What she saw shocked her to the core. Although she knew she was dreaming, this wasn't part of the recurring dream that plague her for these past few years.

A stillborn baby boy was in her arms. He was the most beautiful baby Li Chuntao had seen in her life. There was a sparse of thin black hair on top of his head and his face and body were smooth and tender that made him delicate in her arms.

However, the baby was cold as ice. It neither moved nor cried in her embrace and it sent a cold shiver straight to Li Chuntao's heart. He looked like a normal baby. If only he was breathing and crying his heart out for his mother.

Li Chuntao looked at him. Her fingers reached out and gently touched his head, his cheeks, down to his hand that was clenching on top of his chest. Peals of tears rolled down her cheeks without her not noticing of it.

Was this her baby? Could this be another trick of her mind to torture her?

”Ying? Ying wake up! Please wake up!”

Li Chuntao felt like she was being shaken up by someone to wake up. The scene around her disappeared one by one and when she saw that she was about to lose the baby in her embrace, she panicked. She held unto him and refused to let go of him.

”No, please! Don't take him away! Don't take him away!” She begged but everything continued to fade until the baby in her arms vanished into the thin air.

”No!!!”