Vol 1 Chapter 7 (2/2)

”So Nagase, please don't worry too much Treat Kiriyalad”

This method should also be used onto Taichi

”Sa to?”

That was a shi+vering voice as if asking for help

”Same as before same as before No, there's no need to think it so hard Nagase, it'll be fine if you treat her with no preconceptions Only that will make Kiriyama happy!”

”Is it really fineto Kiriyama?”

”Yeah, it's enough”

It was not to comfort her Taichi believed it deeply

”Kukuku, you two surely are fit”

Inaba interrupted

”You both need each other, this can't be wrong”

”I-Inaban! Can you stop your incessant nonsense?”

”Hmm? Incessant?”

Taichi was doubtful of this

”So I was saying! Inaban also said Taichi and I area'perfect combination'”

Inaba told Taichi so about how he and Iori fit; , so Iori's attitude becoe?

”Actually you are a 'perfect combination'; this can't be helpedAh~ But Yui must have already been mesmerised by Taichi”

”Baha!”

Taichi puffed

”I-InabanYou said it too directly”

”This is the fact There is nothing I could do about it The trickiest thing about fools who love to sacrifice themselves is that their personalities alwaysto do anything to help sos In summary, Taichi, please don't hurt Iori or Yui If you do, I'll teach you a lesson you'll never forget And don't forget that sometimes kindness will hurt others as well”

”I understand”

Taichi bowed to Inaba

”But if you three beco Aoki le? If your relationshi+ps don't get entangled, it's fine with me”

She was now in a mode where she would speak whatever she wanted

While they were chatting idly, they had already arrived at Inaba's house Although Inaba said they didn't have to follow her to the end, Taichi and Nagase still insisted to ith her all the way to the door of her house

”Sorry for giving you all the trouble, Taichi and Iori”

”Please don't Have a good and quiet rest”

”Speaking of which, Inaba, you're thinking for us all the time; but now you should really clear your mind and rest”

”I'm fine I'm fine”

Inaba took her eyes off them and smiled wryly Her smile also carried a hint of masochism

She walked through a luxurious western garden and headed to the gate but on her way she turned her head back and said explicitly,

”Oh~ right I alot to sayIori, let Taichi solve your trauma”

Although her words were thrown out without any foreshadowing, if we look at Iori's stunned expression, we can fully understand that this was an extremely important issue

”InabanDidn't we agree that on't mention it to anyone else?”

Iori, with an icy look as beautiful as an ice sculpture, spoke in a cold voice that could freeze our backs

Seeing Nagase's expression, Taichi was hit off base

”Taichi, if you can help her, please do”

Inaba's straight shadow vanished into the house Even at the lastfor the affairs of others

So they would have to go to the station and say goodbye after they had sent Inaba hoe atase

It was all because of Inaba's last words

Should I ask her or not? Should I face it or not? Should I resist it or not?

Honestly, Taichi could only see one answer

”Hey, Nagase, what is your trauma?”

Although being inquired, Nagase gave no response and started to walk quicker

Taichi didn't continue and fell silent

Did she plan to not say anything about this? If she did, then I should stop asking—when Taichi ase commenced,

”Inaba is too ih I know she did it for us and that her words are ht”

Nagase didn't ht ahead

”Does Taichi want to know about my case? If you promise me you'll treat me like before no matter what, I'll tell you”

As if being scared of looking at Taichi's expression, Nagase turned away frolass that would break at the slightest touch

What happened to Nagase that the others didn't know?

Taichi couldn't estimate how abysmal and dark her real side was, but he felt that if he went too deep he would be in danger; once you have spied in the dark, you couldn't act as if nothing had happened

Nevertheless, however high the risk was—

”I understand I pro I can handle”

If I do not accept it, I could not do anything about it

—I would be unable to think for others on their side

—lest would I be able to save them

”Taichi would say so like that, wouldn't he”

That being said, Nagase finally loosened up and showed a compassionate but wry smile—a smile that was familiar, a smile that Kiriyama had also shown, a smile that conveyed a sense of mystery

”Do you want to sit down for a while?”

Nagase suggested Taichi agreed and they sat on the low concrete wall near the parking lot

Nagase straightened her legs ”Yahhh~,” she sighed deeply

”I don't want to say this, and I know I shouldn't but Inaban mentioned it If I don't tell you, you would feel anxious and annoyed, right?”

”Furthermore, Inaba even said 'if you can help, please do'; if I tell you I'”

”So I was saying~~” Nagase said while kicking the pebbles around her feet The pebbles bounced forward but deviated to the right and fell down into the drain

”So, let me tell you”

Nagase fixed her black pearl-like eyes on Taichi This was the first time Taichi realised that when a beautiful and flawless face shows no ease stares deep in Taichi's eyes, as if confiran to speak

”But before that, let me tell you a joke!”

”Eh?”

What is this girl saying? Taichi thought

”Nyaaa~ ere alone before To be accurate, when I became [Aoki] When the atmosphere beca whether we should first begin with a joke”

”There is no need, okay?! I wasn't hoping for it! What is with your need to break the tense atmosphere between us e are alone?”

What she said was not only a proble serious or not

”But, at this momentI just can't think of any jokes!”

”Then you should give up on the jokes, hey!”

”I was just joking~ I want to say a joke that was How's this?”

”What do you mean by 'how's this?'!? Even if you want to say a joke that was your atte, I didn't want to listen to a joke at the very start!”

”Maybe Taichi didn't want to listen to jokes, but I hope you understand that a joke that waswasn't because I can't think of a joke, but because I deliberately chose this joke that has no jokes!”

”I a a joke of your atte wasn’t because you can't think of a joke, but because you deliberately chose to joke with no jokes!”

”I may as well say that the joke that was an atte is not , but that keeps saying 'joke', 'joke' to deliberately correlate it with the joke said before; thus,it a joke that is a difficult joke to makeNyaa? My suffix sounded weird”

”I have already vaguely guessed it from the start!”

”By the way, Taichi is unexpectedly going along with the weird at to make”

”If I'ase, I would, for no reason, act like this”

Why did we sit together outside an open parking lot discussing such things?

”Now, let's go back to our main topic—”

Then, the jovial sase disappeared and as left was only a poker face

”I actually have five fathers Ah, but there were only three that legally registered Yeah, so this is what happened”

Before Taichi was prepared, Nagase already let Taichi pry into her dark side

Of course, Taichi felt puzzled

”EhSo this means that your mother divorced and remarried?”

”Yeah, soh I met people of different nature, there were none that were completely unbearable No et on ith ht children hi with him fairly well”

Taichi certainly did not have any related experience, so he couldn't distinctly tell whether her case was scary or not Four fathers that originally were coinally coase could treat all of them as family members without any problem

”But it is certain that I would get along with the with them”

”Kept changing yourself?”

Nagase continued while staring at the concrete floor of the parking lot

”My second father—or my first 'stepfather', was a bit problematic That hen I was in primary one or two Put in simple terms, He uses violence Ah, but it wasn't him that caused my trauma! I may as well say the trauma didn't even exist in my own opinion”

”So what Inaban said about 'Please help her to solve this' ase complemented

”Though I called it as violence, it was not violence that would take me to the children welfare centre I may as well say I didn't let him do it no, rather, should I say 'I let him not do it'?”

Taichi could only listen attentively

”I played the role of myself, the role accompanies the other's likeliness”

Whether it was her eyes, nose, mouth or ears, they all stayed in a condition that was naturally born and grown She, who didn't need any change, let out a s or haze, and because of its perfect clearness, she seemed even more mystical and dreamy

”I tried to be cool, but I, at that ti a role'; I just understood what I should do and what I should becoet scoldedAnd so I did it I don't knoever, whether it was fortune or misfortune that I happened to excel in this skill and even to an extent that I understood 'If I do this and beco scolded, I would also become praised' And so I did it I even followed their likes and dislikes I coped with everything that could change me”

Changing how you act in order to please others was so everyone should have done, ant and abnormal example of this?

”Right after I started doing that, they divorced again I ith my mother, and she immediately let a new father became our 'family ood, so I didn't have to do this But why? Maybe even though I was a child I had an obligation to play a good role I, again, played the role of myself as he wished”

Nagase s her head

” After that, I couldn't stopdifferent 'me's to suit different people One after another, one after another My days flew gradually, and in —my fifth father died of sickness He was a man of feords, but he was a remarkably excellent person; he actually found out that I was just playing a role Before he died, he told me to 'live more freely'”

Her voice was as clear and transparent as a clean strea Maybe her past father and their tiether recurred to her

”My mother also seee occurred, but when he died, , 'Sorry, my impulsiveness before troubled you Froive you a life you wished' After that, although ere a single-parent family, we lived no different from normal people At the end,was still happy! Look, there's no trauht?”

Nagase looked at Taichi's eyes with a slant

The autu her soft flying hair in the wind into a golden colour

”But, after that—the ugliest and the worst days began”

Nagase's face lost all emotion, as if she were an exquisite statue

”To act freely and to do whatever I want Being told that, I tried to change, but I felt extremely surprised Because what came to my mind were foolish questions like 'What do I like?' or 'What do I want to do?' or 'Which me is the real me?' Because I played the expected ottenthe real me”

Those ten years should be the integral period of forirl continually changed herself to cope with others In the end, this girl becaase

”Then I becah I want to be free and be myself as I wish, I didn't knohat to do I was totally helpless So I decided to play a role that adequately coped with the current atmosphere, and continued till now”

So that hy she becaht

So that hy Nagase would let the teacher to decide the club for her to join?

Because she did not have an I that she could choose from

And the Nagase who got along with the club ase, who thinks that Nagase is not the true her?

Was it because of the multiple hers that she could choose to play that made her show such diverse expressions?

”The only way I could confidently believe 'this is h h the wishes of others', which hat h ironic, it was the last wall that could prevent the realcompletely lost In theory it was but now,freely' that sort of thing that recently evenoccurred to me”

Because of the fact that she didn't notice that Kiriyaase looked scared

”What should I do I thought If I lose my ability, I will really lose whatwith everyone? Where should I play which role is right? Lately, the role I tried to play seemed to be out of my control”

Inaba reckoned Nagase was the er

”Then this e of the personality and the [body]Although I almost lose the existence of the I who has a personality, still, I can still live as Iori Nagase Because, everybody would call ase when they look at ed insideonly when I have this [body] But, if because of this personality exchange that even ue I will lose the I who has a personality I will lose the I who has a [body] If it stays in this condition gradually no one could be sure I am who I am even I couldn't Will I disappear from the world like that?”

After a while of ra aith the past, what she noticed at the end was her world has already lost its original shape

To her fragile world that has already begun collapsing, the huge quake caused by the 'personality exchange' was too strong

Froase was now sinking deep into darkness; sinking deep into abysmal darkness Taichi wanted to help her Even if he would need to jump into her darkness he still wanted to But he could not Not because he was scared, but because even if he really did so

I must think quickly,

What I could do for Nagase now—

”You'll never disappear in the world,” Taichi firmly asseverated

”Why,” Nagase inquired Taichi with her pure and flawless eyes

”Because whatever happens, whatever you becoase”

To Nagase who has drowned, Taichi couldn't even thron a rope to save her The only thing he could do was to 'let her see brightness'

Nagase momentarily blinked her eyes in surprise, and then murmured softly,

”That is impossible”

”It's not impossible”

Taichi looked at Nagase's eyes while he spoke

”Why can Taichi be so sure?”

Nagase seemed afraid and scared; at the sa

”This is becauseNagase to me—”

At this h my mind

—A fool that loves to sacrifice himself

This phrase heavily pushed down on Taichi

What was I planning to say just now?

Also, what did I say it for?

Was it only to help Nagase and let her see the hope of brightness? Or was it so more?

Taichi didn't know

But he was sure that one who doesn’t know it has no right to say 'those words'

So Taichi talked evasively, and said anew

”EhSo, so I could do it Please believe in me, it doesn't really matter”

What he said was absurd and ridiculous One who has perplexity in one's heart could never save Nagase

Her crystal clear, pure skin along with her geht that they made Taichi avert his eyes

”If that's what Taichi says, I'll try to believe it”

Nagase seelad, yet lonely