C58 (1/2)

I have been a therapist for many years, but it's the first time that I've met a child with personality disorder like Lee Xiaojun's son, Lee Shijie.

Ever since that father and son pair first entered my private psychological clinic to look for me, I had noticed Lee Shijie's abnormality.

I remember it was raining and it was dark and I was sleeping on the couch in the morning and I heard the door being knocked. When I opened the door, I saw a freckled and unlovable child standing there.

His expression was dull, his eyes unfocused, and he didn't mind the rain at all.

Behind him stood a man in his forties with a face full of stubble. When the man saw me, he asked me if I was Dr. Hu, and I said yes.

After that, I invited them into the room. The man immediately told me that his name was Lee Xiaojun, and that he was a massage artist with Chinese medicine. Like me, he opened a private training room, and beside him was his son,, who was eight years old. He said they desperately needed a psychiatrist, and after a brief observation, I knew it was his son who had a mental problem.

The truth was as I expected. According to Lee Xiaojun's description, I understood that Li Shi was quiet, not good at communicating with others, and was easily irritable. The most important thing was that he enjoyed the pain of being tortured, and was used to torturing all kinds of small animals and toys. Therefore, Lee Xiaojun's family never kept pets, but bought a lot of toys.

When I asked Lee Xiaojun what kind of toy Lee Shijie liked, Lee Xiaojun said that he liked to play with a lot in the past. Now, he basically only likes one kind of toy - the giraffe!

I was a little curious and asked Lee Shijie why he liked giraffe toys so much. In the end, Lee Shijie scrunched up his face and became especially wary of me. In the end, it was his father, Lee Xiaojun, who told me that it was because giraffes neck was long enough to twist.

So it turned out that Lee Shijie's so-called playing with toys was just a way for him to vent his feelings, which was satisfied with his cruel treatment.

As a professional therapist, I have interacted with all kinds of mental patients, but this is the first time that someone like Lee Shijie has met me, not to mention, he's only eight years old.

I told Lee Xiaojun straightforwardly that his son should have a serious personality disorder, a typical anti-social personality disorder that could cause harm to others. However, most of these people were already in their early years, and most of them were caused by some dark experiences from their childhood. Although there were very few children, if they really displayed a certain antisocial personality in their childhood, it meant that their innate genes or brains were defective and very difficult to treat.

Listening to my description, Lee Xiaojun panicked and asked me to help his son. Honestly speaking, I am not particularly confident, but I am still willing to try. Lee Xiaojun was finally able to heave a sigh of relief.

I'll remind Lee Xiaojun, according to his situation, he would probably need a long period of treatment, so the expenses won't be low either. Lee Xiaojun doesn't care about the money, he only has one son, as long as he can help Lee Shijie improve his mental state, he's willing to go bankrupt.

Since everything has been finalized, I should first let Lee Xiaojun make a brief introduction of his family's situation. Originally, Lee Xiaojun's wife died of an illness when he gave birth to Lee Shijie. Lee Xiaojun took care of the big child by himself and even maintained the business of the massage parlor. It was only when Lee Shijie was around five years old or so that Lee Xiaojun noticed that his son was weird and angry. It was only then that he found out that something was wrong with Lee Shijie. So he brought Lee Shijie to search for a cure, but nothing came of it. Eventually, Lee Shijie's condition got worse, and he started to break the necks of all kinds of giraffes, seeking to vent.

After roughly understanding the situation, I asked Lee Shijie a few questions that basically had nothing to do with the illness, but Lee Shijie's reply was rather stiff. I felt that he was completely enclosed in his own world. It was hard to communicate with others.

After that, every Friday, Lee Xiaojun would bring Lee Shijie to my clinic on time. I would just repeat the conversation I had with Lee Shijie, continuously comfort him, encourage him, and instigate him to live a beautiful life so that he would understand more about human nature. Children of this age group were not suitable for other methods.

Unfortunately, after a few tries, Lee Shijie's condition hasn't improved at all. Actually, this was entirely within my expectations. From the beginning, I was pessimistic about Lee Shijie's treatment. Because of a congenital defect, no matter what, it was difficult to treat.

One time when Lee Xiaojun brought Lee Shijie here, he said that he broke another neck of a few giraffe toys. I suddenly got curious about what kind of toy Lee Shijie's favorite giraffe toy was, and how to break it?

I told Lee Xiaojun to bring a few giraffe toys for me to see next time, Lee Xiaojun agreed immediately.

It contained all kinds of giraffe toys, but most of them were sold cheaply. After all, the reason Lee Xiaojun bought the toys for Lee Shijie was not for fun, but for special purposes.

Flipping through it, I saw a giraffe toy with a split neck. It was made of plastic and could easily be broken. Obviously this was Lee Shijie's masterpiece.

When I stared at this giraffe toy, Lee Shijie was also staring at me. I asked Lee Shijie, why did you do this? Lee Shijie replied and thought that it was really fun. Immediately after, Lee Shijie let out a mad laugh, it wasn't like the laughter a kid his age could produce, I felt a little scared in my heart.

I asked Lee Xiaojun how long it usually take for him to break a giraffe toy. Lee Xiaojun said that it might not be true, but recently, he had done it more often than before, sometimes breaking several giraffe toys' necks in a row. So he bought a whole bag of giraffe toys.

Lee Xiaojun also told me that if Lee Shijie wants to break the giraffe's neck, but cannot find the giraffe, he would go crazy, and become uncontrollable.

I understand Lee Xiaojun's meaning. He's telling me that Lee Shijie's condition is getting worse and worse, and if I don't control him now, the consequences would be unimaginable.

I can understand Lee Xiaojun's pain, but it can solve Lee Shijie's problem, and it might not be something within the limits of human ability for now.

Anyway, I did my best.

Until today, Lee Xiaojun and his son had probably come to my place dozens of times. During this time, I also advised Lee Xiaojun to look for another famous doctor, but Lee Xiaojun insisted on bringing Lee Shijie to my place. He said that Lee Shijie liked me a lot now and was willing to talk to me. I was elated, because it was very important for people with mental disorders to have some kind of good impression of doctors, especially Lee Shijie who had an anti-social personality.

After two days, it was Friday again. As usual, Lee Xiaojun brought Lee Shijie to my clinic, but this time, I noticed that his face was not well.

I asked Lee Xiaojun: ”What's wrong? You're not in a good mood today.”

Lee Xiaojun sighed and looked at Lee Shijie as he said, ”Shi Jie doesn't seem to like giraffes anymore.”

Not only was I stunned, I asked, ”Why? Isn't the giraffe his favorite toy?”

”It used to be, but now he rarely plays.”

”Oh?”

”I don't know. I don't understand him.”

I thought, this is definitely a danger signal, because in the past, breaking the neck of the giraffe toy was Lee Shijie's outlet. Before he can solve this problem, he needs to maintain this balance in his desire. Once he slowly closed the vent window and couldn't find a new one, the consequences would be severe. In the end, he would either destroy himself or destroy others.

When Lee Xiaojun was with the Lee Xiaojun father and son, I advised Lee Xiaojun to pay close attention to Lee Shijie's movements, and to take Lee Shijie out for fun, if there was anything special, immediately inform me.

Lee Xiaojun frowned and answered sullenly.

After they left, my lover, Chen Lan, coincidentally, came to deliver me lunch. Of course she knew about Lee Shijie's situation, and also asked about the situation, I wasn't very optimistic, I felt that Lee Shijie had come to my side purely to waste time, and should have chosen to give up. But Lee Xiaojun still brought Lee Shijie here, I don't know why.

”Lee Shijie seems to like you a lot.” Chen Feng said.

Surprised, I asked, ”Even you say that?”

”What's wrong, did Lee Xiaojun say that too?”

”Yeah.”

”That's it. This might be your only bargaining chip.”

Chen Lan was right, this is my only bargaining chip, my only advantage.

Unexpectedly, Lee Xiaojun and his son did not come on the following Friday. I thought to myself: Did he give up?

No matter whether Lee Xiaojun gives up or not, I still understand and respect his way of doing things. From an objective and rational point of view, a congenital defect of the personality could not be treated. All medical treatment could only be temporarily suppressed, or it could even be said to have been concealed to a point where it could not even be alleviated. Maybe separating Lee Shijie from the crowd was the right decision.

After all, these antisocial psychopaths were a threat to society.

Unknowingly, a month had passed and Lee Shijie didn't come back. There were still a few more patients in my mental clinic, so I had pretty much forgotten about Lee Shijie.

One afternoon, I gave myself a break and accompanied Chen Lan to buy clothes on the streets. When we strolled into a shopping mall, I saw Lee Shijie, who was standing in front of a window, not moving at all.

Without thinking, I walked over with Chen Lan, because I have indeed not seen Lee Shijie for a long time. When we arrived behind Lee Shijie, we lightly patted his shoulder. Unexpectedly, as if he had been electrocuted, his entire body seemed to jump up and down. He hurriedly turned around and stared at me viciously.

I will probably never forget his eyes for the rest of my life.

It was like a vicious dog in the dark.

After realising that it was me, Lee Shijie slowly relaxed and greeted me: ”Doctor Hu, it's you!”

We weren't surprised at Lee Shijie's performance just now, because we were all clear about his problem. With a face full of smiles, I replied, ”I'm sorry, but shouldn't I scare you? I said I'm sorry, can you accept it? ”

This is our usual way of talking.

Lee Shijie shook his head.

I don't know if he shook his head, or if he didn't want to accept it, or if he didn't want to say it.

”Where's your father?” I turned the page.

”He went to buy me something to eat.” Lee Shijie replied indifferently, his eyes looking at another place.

I looked towards the direction where Lee Shijie was looking. It was actually that window, and there were many types of toys in it.

There was his favorite giraffe.

Lee Xiaojun came back with a bottle of cola and fries. When he saw that it was us, he had a complicated expression on his face.

After we greeted each other, Lee Xiaojun gave Lee Shijie the cola and chips to eat. Unexpectedly, when Lee Shijie finished all of the cola and chips, it spilled all over the ground and said loudly, ”I won't eat it!”

We were stunned, we did not know that Lee Shijie would suddenly flare up. Especially me, it's my first time seeing Lee Shijie's true violent appearance, after all, he's usually quite obedient coming to my side.

I started to understand the meaning behind Lee Xiaojun's words: Lee Shijie's illness is getting worse.

Lee Xiaojun had obviously gotten used to Lee Shijie's condition. Like a conditioned reflex, he crouched down and picked up all the fries before wiping them clean with a tissue.

Lee Shijie stared at the window without showing a single ripple.

I walked into the toy store and bought a giraffe toy that was covered in yellow spots and made very lifelike. I passed it to Lee Shijie and said, ”This is a gift from uncle, let's play with it.”

Lee Shijie looked at me for a moment, then took the toy from my hands and opened the box. However, the moment he took out the toy, he broke the giraffe's neck and threw it onto the ground. His technique was exceptionally straightforward and practiced.