118 Unconcerned and tranquil (1/2)

Did Yuan Xuelan hear that right? Or perhaps it was but an auditory hallucination created by his desperation. Hope was cruel.

”...” Yuan Xuelan only grimaced and looked away. He could not understand why Liu Sumeng was not giving him a clear rejection. Was he being fed with foolish hope that would only end up with him embarrassing himself? Yuan Xuelan could not understand. But he knew that his heart bled freely for this man and it was driving him insane. Gods, was he already insane?

”Maybe…we shouldn't…” His throat ached but Xuelan forced the words out anyway, ”shouldn't be so close…”

Maybe then he could forget his obsession, perhaps then his heart could heal. Yuan Xuelan did not want to be a burden to Liu Sumeng, no matter much it agonized him.

And Liu Sumeng understood that much as well. Staying apart might be the best answer to this situation. But how could he bear that? Liu Sumeng could not. He already followed this idiot from one lifetime to the next.

”No,” the Ivory Sword Saint said resolutely, a strange feeling clamped down on his chest, ”Let's not.”

”But…” Yuan Xuelan hesitated, ”Didn't you hear me earlier? I like you. It seriously hurts me…and…”

A pause. Liu Sumeng was patient and watched Xuelan swallow, ”You should just marry my Shijie. You make her happy, you know? You thought that I liked my Shijie romantically, but I don't. Sorry, I lied. You don't have to cancel the engagement or anything.”

”I did,” Liu Sumeng said resolutely, ”I canceled it.”

Yuan Xuelan didn't know if he should feel relieved or guilty. He sucked in a sharp breath, ”But-”

”I don't regret it.” Liu Sumeng said, ”It is not meant to be.”

”...I don't understand.”

Liu Sumeng sighed and didn't know how he should explain it either. Again, he cursed his inability to properly spin words. He changed the topic instead, ”Why?”

Yuan Xuelan perked up, confused, ”Why what?”

”Why do you like me?”

Yuan Xuelan's face went red. He as well was not certain.

”...Is there a reason for falling in love? Doesn't it just happen?”

One moment, Liu Sumeng had simply cemented himself in his heart, so vividly that even all his dreams were haunted by this man. How could he define such a thing? He couldn't. There was never a clear reason, aside from Liu Sumeng being the most wonderful and alluring person he had ever met.

Liu Sumeng could not help but chuckle at those naive and cheesy words. ”Idiot,” he chided.

A giddy feeling warmed Yuan Xuelan's tummy.

”Enough talking for tonight. Go to sleep,” Liu Sumeng said.

Yuan Xuelan scooted over to the bed and secretly wondered if Liu Sumeng was going to find another room for himself. That was probably the case, even if he hated it. And there were still so many things that he wanted to say and talk about, causing him to fidget. He was pouting like a petulant child and refused to lay down, even giving the Ivory Sword Saint a frustrated glare.

”What is it?” Mysteriously, this Ivory Sword Saint was also sitting down on the same bed.

”You…” Yuan Xuelan wet his lips, gathering the courage that he sorely lacked, ”Why won't you push me away? Can't you just reject me more clearly?”

Shyly, he peeked at Liu Sumeng who sat way too close, whose sculpted visage caught hints of silver moonlight and eyes danced with emotion that made Xuelan breathless.

”I will think about it.” Was all he said as he reached up and patted Yuan Xuelan on the head. ”For now, sleep.”

”Oh…okay.”

And he was tucked into bed, with Liu Sumeng curled up next to him in the same bed. Not long, the Ivory Sword Saint's breathing evened out, soft puffs of air tickled Yuan Xuelan's face.

Wait, what just happened?

Yuan Xuelan's mind seemed to have stopped working.

Did Liu Sumeng just say he'd think about it? Think about his confession? D-Does that mean he had a chance?

His depressed heart suddenly kicked off in strides, racing loudly in his chest cavity. Yuan Xuelan's eyes were wide as he stared at the person sharing his bed.

Why was he even sharing his bed!!?

How was he going to sleep now!?

Of course, Yuan Xuelan could not get even a wink of sleep.

Soon there were birds singing. Twilight simmered away into dawn which turned to daylight. Elsewhere, people had begun celebrations for the Mid-Autumn Festival, and meanwhile the two of them were caught in the middle of nowhere.

Almost like a secluded honeymoon.

Yuan Xuelan was going to die from torment. And meanwhile, Liu Sumeng was still sleeping peacefully…Just why!?