843 Protect Together (2/2)
”The nightmare.” Her eyes had a faraway look in them. ”When I died before, I was glad. I felt liberated. Free, at last.”
”I accepted my death willingly,” she continued telling him in a whisper. ”With open arms. I didn't do anything to stop the enemies from killing everyone. I only thought about myself. I was so selfish, Liwei.”
”I know that I was the weakest in combat in the family. But I was still a highly-skilled sharpshooter. I could've fought if I wanted to but I didn't. I chose to stand in the sidelines instead and allowed everyone to get killed without doing anything. Not to mention that I was one of the best hackers in the world. I could've detected the attack before it happened. But I didn't.”
He pulled her closer and embraced her more tightly with his arm.
”All I wanted was to escape that life through death. Mother was right. I am too selfish.”
”This might sound insensitive but I'm going to say it, anyway,” Jin Liwei said. He forced her to look at him straight in the eyes. ”I don't know the full story of what happened in your past life, Evelina. But I know that I'm glad that what happened in the past happened the way it did because if not, then I wouldn't have met you and fell in love with you.”
”Oh, Liwei.”
”Sssh. Don't cry.” He kissed the tears flowing down her cheeks.
She clasped his shirt with a trembling hand. ”That night was hell, Liwei. But I welcomed it. I wanted to die without caring for the other lives lost around me.”
He didn't say anything this time, only listened, while continuing to wipe her tears.
”Then I dreamed that night again but only it happened here in our home.”
His expression hardened even as his heart ached for her. 'Ah, so that's why she's so upset by the nightmare.'
”I have you now, Liwei, and our babies. And our entire family. I can't just accept death willingly again. I want to live a long, happy life with you and our family. So I fought the attackers, something that I didn't do in my past life. I wanted to protect you and our family. But you still died. Everyone died. I was the only one left alive. It was so scary! So painful! I feel like an utter failure.”
”Don't say that,” he rebuked her. ”Never say that. You are not a failure. Far from it. And you're wrong, Evelina. It's not your sole responsibility to protect our family. I'm here. We'll protect our family together. Always remember that.”