289 Dead When Awake, Alive When Asleep (2/2)
In all honesty, they didn't have that much expectations for the film at all. They had this misconception that all indie films were boring. They only watched because of their Boss Iris.
However, when they finally watched the movie, it was as if they were swept away by a tsunami of overwhelming emotions. It was so painful that it felt like they were drowning in their own grief. All of them were sobbing and wailing in the film theatres. It came to a point that the Black Stars allocated part of its funds to buy boxes of facial tissues to distribute to moviegoers watching ”Strong Yet Broken”.
Whenever a batch of viewers came out of the movie theatre, they were a sight to see with their teary eyes, snotty noses and red, swollen faces.
”What happened to all of you?” A curious passerby asked them.
”We watched a movie and it was so SAAAAAAAAD!” The person who was asked started sobbing again as she remembered what she just watched.
”What? A movie? I thought you all came from a funeral! What movie was it that made you look like that?”
”It's called 'Strong Yet Broken'. Wuwuwu! Go watch it. You're gonna cry so HAAAAAAARD!”
”What's it about?”
”The movie tells the life story of the mother of Paralympian Guan Jintao…”
”Strong Yet Broken” was about a pregnant young woman who was completely in love with her equally young husband. She grew up an orphan. That was why she was very excited to build a loving family with her husband. However, just months after she got pregnant with their child, she lost her husband due to terminal illness. It came so suddenly. Her husband didn't tell her until he was already dying. In the end, he died before she gave birth to their child.
Alone and depressed, she wanted to take her own life and follow her husband. However, he made her promise before he died to take care of their child. A few months later, she gave birth to a normal, healthy baby boy she named Guan Jintao.
Her depression only worsened after the birth. What she suffered back then was called postpartum depression in today's terms. But back then, nobody diagnosed her. They just told her to deal with it, suck it up and fulfill her responsibility as a mother.
When her son was about five years old, he began losing his vision, eventually becoming completely blind within two years. Not only was she a single mother, but she also now had to raise a blind child in times when the disabled were ostracized by most of society.
Public schools rejected her son, so she had to enroll him to a private school which catered to children with special needs. It was expensive. She worked multiple jobs while raising her blind son. It didn't help that Little Jintao was always being bullied. She did her best to comfort and protect him, even when she couldn't even protect herself.
Throughout all of these struggles, she was desperately trying to stay strong and deal with her depression by herself even though all she wanted was to give up and follow her husband.
It was during her son's puberty age that he showed signs of talent in swimming. She supported him with all she had. She would borrow money from her coworkers and neighbours just to support his training and competitions. She didn't really have any big dreams for him. All she wanted was for him to have some respite from all the bullying outside the pool.
In public, she was the most supportive mother but in private, she attempted to kill herself many times. Each time, however, her husband's dying words would play in her mind.
”Take care of our child for me.”
She would cry herself to sleep after her failed suicide attempts, dreaming of happy times with her beloved husband until she had to wake up to reality the next day again.
Dead when awake, alive when asleep.
This was how she felt for the rest of her life.