50 The Funeral XI (2/2)

”I need to use the outhouse, Mother,” Gisela's gentle voice suddenly drifted from behind.

Hilde stilled. She didn't turn.

”Our senior maids will accompany you, they know where it is. Do you also need me to come?”

She heard the smile in Gisela's reply, ”Only if you also need to go. Hilde, shall we?” At this, the person named had no choice but to look up at the caller, who was already on her feet. ”You've been fidgeting,” with a small giggle, her cousin explained the reason for the invitation.

And wouldn't you know it, Gisela was right. Amazed that the other girl had figured it out first when it was her own body in question, Hilde also stood. Before they left, the two princesses and their attendants bowed to the Queen. She was once again turned towards the white mausoleum and had nodded cursorily without looking at any of them.

Walking side by side, the cousins followed Lady Ilse's senior attendant as she took a path that went around the most outlying blankets on the left side of the spread. Nevertheless, countless eyes noted them and followed their passage. Because she no longer had any medicine to fortify her, Hilde still made use of Frieda's assistance to save her strength, and though she didn't need to come, Nadia was ambling behind them.

When they were a few yards away from the tree, Gisela broke the silence, but the subject was far from the one Hilde had been dreading she'd raise.

”The Queen has not been herself at all, hasn't she?” Surprised, she braced herself and turned to the speaker. She found her wearing a look that was devoid of all judgment. ”I thought she was only trying to be as strong as she could over your brother's death, but now it seems she's as affected as anyone might be – perhaps she's merely expressing it in a different way.” Gisela grimaced slightly; it didn't seem like she believed her advice would be followed, but she still said, ”Don't take her words and attitude towards you to heart, okay?”

Choosing not to respond, Hilde retrieved her blank gaze and stared straight ahead. What her cousin said was true. It was yet another valid perspective. Inside, however, it reduced her to begging. 'Please, oh, please… don't muddy the waters any more than this… I can't…'

From out of nowhere, she felt the hand hanging on her side being taken. Gisela had stepped closer to her to intertwine their fingers.

Right then and there, Hilde nearly broke down in tears.

With Gisela, she didn't need to wrack her brains to figure out what the act was for – she didn't need to wonder whether or not it was sincere, whether she'd ask for anything in return for the kindness. All Hilde had to do was examine her own heart to know that the comfort and warmth she found in there were real.

Eyes glazing despite her best efforts to suppress her emotions, she grasped her cousin's hand tightly, as if holding on to a lifeline.

Lothar was gone; she now recognized doing so would take time, but she had no choice except come to terms with her loss.

Gisela was still with her. No matter what happens, no matter the cost to herself, she'll stand beside Hilde – she believed this to be true from the bottom of her heart.

And no matter what happens, Hilde swore, she will do the same for her.