49 The Funeral X (1/2)

Straight for the jugular – that was exactly how her sister's type operated. Stab them where it would hurt the most; if there's an opening, go right for the kill.

Yes, the Queen was right, Hilde and Theodar were the same – elevated in rank after a brother's death, but still only a spare. What real prospects did they have for their future? Consorts, at best, and that's if someone would actually choose them over others. In the eyes of society, they were both defective products from two otherwise-proud bloodlines. There might be some who'll want them anyway, for their blood and for their name, but for the person they were?

'It would take a saint like Gisela, but she might only be confused at the moment. Yes, that must be the case.'

Hilde fully intended to become something more than just a bargaining chip. She thought she could ask for her sister's help with that, but the Queen had her own agenda, and it ran very much counter with Hilde's, not to mention the rest of the country's. The Lord General's offer had seemed sincere and uncomplicated at first, but it turned out he had his own agenda too – and that he thought nothing of using Hilde to achieve it. Now her trust in him was also in shambles. She didn't know what or who to believe in anymore.

Of course, they made their moves thinking they knew everything there was to know about her and could therefore manipulate her at will. None of them could have suspected, she was no longer the Hilde that they all knew.

She used to only care about the things that brought her some measure of joy: her martial interests; the two people she wholeheartedly liked and who unconditionally liked her in return. She now knew that she HAD been affected and simply wouldn't acknowledge it to protect herself, but back then, she thought she didn't care about ”behaving” as a princess should, she thought she didn't care that she was treated indifferently by servants and close peers alike, sometimes outright ignored as she slinked about her own business. Anything other than what she wanted to do, she viewed as a waste of her time.

The only instances when she felt anything else strongly were the times she came face to face with her brother, who would then not pass up the chance to taunt and humiliate her in some way or another. In the fairytale castle she called home, he was the only enemy that had shown his true fac. Thus, she thought he'd been the only one. This was especially true back when their father just died. He was like a vicious hound who'd finally managed to slip out of his much-hated leash.

That was probably what had made him so effective on the battlefield. It was as if he didn't know what fear was, as if he ate pain for breakfast and would welcome more of it any given hour. Unfortunately for their enemies, he was the type who'll stop at nothing to give back as good as he gets. Any effort by the Lyseans to deceive or intimidate him was thrown right back at them, often with an extra helping. In war, it seemed, there was a lot to be said about vindictiveness and the absolute unwillingness to admit defeat.

Applied to personal relationships, however, the one on the receiving end of those qualities would soon be reduced to cowering, to always walking on eggshells, to brewing hatred in her own little heart. And when the lid blows off and that recipient also learns to give back as good as she gets? In their case, ”conflagration” was too soft a word to describe the close-quarter clashes that had resulted.

It stood to reason the siblings would hate each other. They were much too similar; they should not have been expected to coexist peacefully in the same space. Yet though there were times she might have welcomed Dieter's death, she never truly wished for it.

At Hilde's core, she was still the little hell-raiser her brother had helped create, but she was much more than that now – much, much more. Her old self would have answered her sister's cutting words with something just as sharp. While that would have felt satisfying, that wasn't the right way to fight this type of battle.

Hilde smiled politely. ”Do you think so, Queen? I see what you mean, and yes, you might be right.”