174 Completely Fallen for Her 2 (1/2)
She did not mean for things to end up this way, either.
Her reason for getting married was to have someone to spend the rest of her life with.
Right from the beginning, her intentions had been pure, and she merely wanted to have an everlasting marriage.
In reality, she was just being over-idealistic.
When things come crashing down, leaving becomes harder than it seems.
She had definitely developed feelings for him across the span of the few months that they had been married. She could not blame anyone for what had happened, but neither could she live with herself, knowing that she could no longer treat his family like her own even if she chose to stay.
She did not regret her decision.
An Xiaoning entered the door, dragging the luggage along. Jin Qingyan then drove off in his white Bentley as soon as she closed the door.
Jin Qingyan was in low spirits and returned home with a sullen look on his face.
Having guessed where he had gone, Fan Shixin stepped forwards and asked cautiously, ”Young Sir, would you like to have some hot milk? I'll get Auntie Chen to make you some.”
”No, I'd like to be alone for a while, don't disturb me.”
He headed upstairs and returned to his bedroom.
Sitting on the couch, he poured himself his very own concoction, Dreamy Yanghe, glass after glass. He had rarely gotten drunk from drinking it, ever since he invented this concoction.
Tonight would be one of the very few times he'd get intoxicated from it.
Unable to rest his mind, Fan Shixin moved a chair to the door outside of his bedroom and sat on it.
Within less than an hour, sounds of objects being smashed and thrown around could be heard coming from inside, just like Fan Shixin had expected.
Though the sounds were getting louder and louder with each passing minute, Fan Shixin stayed put and allowed him to continue, as much as he had wanted to go in and stop him. He continued to wait 'til Jin Qingyan was almost done venting his frustration before opening the door gently with the spare key.
The room was dimly lit with the warm yellow light.
Jin Qingyan was in a drunken stupor as he sat on the carpet, leaning against the bed.
”Young… Young Sir?”
Jin Qingyan moved a little and opened his eyes slowly. ”Shixin,” he called, tears streaming down his face uncontrollably.
Fan Shixin squatted down in front of him and answered, ”Yes? I'm here. Young Sir, please don't act like this.”
”I'm terribly upset, so upset that I feel like dying.”
Fan Shixin watched as he continued to bawl continuously like a child, his nose turning red from all the crying. He was well aware that Jin Qingyan had always been known to be well tempered and that he rarely showed his weak side or emotions, let alone cry.
It was evident from the many empty liquor bottles lying around on the ground that Jin Qingyan had been drinking his sorrows away. If it weren't for the effects from the massive amount of alcohol he had drunk, he probably would have never come in touch with his emotions and reveal such a fragile and emotional side of himself.
Fan Shixin helped him up onto the bed and proceeded to place a cold towel on his forehead. ”You'll be fine after a night's sleep.”
”I won't… we're divorced, and she said it's best that we don't see each other at all in the future. I know she blames me for not choosing to save her. I blame myself for that too, for not doing enough to protect her. It was my mistake and negligence that caused all of these to happen. She was right to have chosen to get a divorce, she was right…” he murmured with half-closed eyes.
”Young Sir… it's not your fault,” Fan Shixin said softly.
Jin Qingyan shook his head and turned on his side, after which he instructed, ”Bring me a glass of water and you may leave after that.”
”Alright.” Fan Shixin tucked him beneath the duvet and proceeded to bring him a glass of warm water, which he then placed onto the table. He had no choice but to get someone to clear the mess Jin Qingyan had created in the bedroom. Too worried to return to his own room to sleep, Fan Shixin wrapped himself in a blanket and sat outside Jin Qingyan's bedroom instead. He left the door slightly ajar, so that he would hear every noise in the room clearly, in case anything happened. However, he felt rather sleepy, nonetheless, and would probably stay asleep unless there was too loud of a noise.
As much as he was already drunk, Jin Qingyan still could not bring himself to fall asleep, and he laid in bed wide awake.
Even alcohol could not save him from his sorrowful thoughts and allow him to just forget everything for a short while.
He reached into his pocket and retrieved a small bottle. He knew clearly what it was, despite being drunk.
He recalled the present she had given him for his birthday.